I think. I think I ovulated on Thursday. I’m not 100% sure of this, but I think that I did. My signs were all good; CP, CM, and temps were all on par with what I’ve read they should be.

I experienced a temp rise Wednesday, then a crash Thursday. Since Thursday, my temps have been climbing. I don’t know if this is a good sign, if this is a sign of pregnancy, or if it’s inconclusive, or what. I guess all I can do is wait.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

I’m trying not to over-analyze my body and the things that it’s experiencing. I had some brief queasiness today which I’m trying to write off to being bloated and gassy. I’m tired, and I’m just writing that off to not getting good enough sleep. My skin is broken out, I’m writing that off to being a week and a half away from AF.

Let’s keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

In the water

It honestly feels sometimes like every single woman on the face of this earth is pregnant, but me.

I was wandering around Facebook and was looking at some new pictures that the little sister of an old friend of mine had added, and lo and behold, saw my old friend Michelle posing, pregnant, with her husband.

It just seems like everyone is getting their babies but me. Why did I have to lose mine? I should be having my baby shower, I should be getting huge and fat, feeling baby kick.. I should be due in about 6 weeks. But I’m not. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.

And I frigging hate it. Why did this have to happen to me? I am not one for self pity, but this is just one thing I can’t shake. It’s been 6 months since I lost the baby, and I’m still sad about it. I still think, “Why?” I still get sad when I see pregnant women. When someone I know gets pregnant, it still hurts.

When is it going to be my turn? For REAL this time? Not, “Oh! You’re pregnant. Wait, nevermind, no you’re not. BACK TO SQUARE ONE.”