A secret confession

This is my journal that almost no one knows about. I want to get this out in the open, but I’m almost afraid to.

I am confessing, right here and now..

That I think that I may be pregnant.

I don’t want to jinx anything. But for the first time since TTC, I have real and valid IPS. I feel similarly to how I did with my first pregnancy. I can’t ignore the sore breasts, and the puffiness. OK, I can; because my breasts have been getting puffier and more sore since the miscarriage. But those sharp, stabbing sensations I had yesterday I just could not ignore. I’m a lot more “moist” down there than I usually am, and this fatigue is just killing me.

I’m almost afraid to say it out loud, because I desperately don’t want to be wrong. I know that if my period shows up in a week, I will feel like the biggest, dumbest idiot for truly believing that I could be pregnant. I almost don’t WANT to believe that I am, because another part of me is so skeptical.

I don’t know if any of this makes any sense. But a part of me thinks I may be pregnant.

Let’s just keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

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