Um, thanks, I guess?

They say that imitation is the highest form of flattery, don’t they? But what about blatent plageurism?

Well, I’ve been killing time on MySpace waiting for DH to get home. I decided to visit the page of one of my friends from TTCAM. I hadn’t been to her page in a while, so I went.

I noticed a blog of hers titled “To My Angel Baby”. I began to read it, and as I did, the words started to sound awfully familiar to me. And then it hit me: I wrote this! I wrote it originally on May 22nd, in a post on the iVillage TTCAM message board. I read this girl’s blog, and it is, literally, word for word the exact same post that I made. Given, she added a few of her details in, but it’s my post!

Now, at first, I was absolutely and totally floored. I was upset, angry, apalled. How could someone rip off MY feelings, MY words, and not even credit me for them?

Then I got to thinking. It’s not like I wrote a book, it was a post to a miscarriage support board. Her pain is the same pain I’ve felt, that we all have felt at that board. And I thought, well, if she can’t find the words herself, then I guess it’s OK for her to borrow mine.

I guess it was just the intial shock of seeing MY words on someone else’s blog, and not even getting a mention of credit toward being the author of those words.
I’m having severely mixed feelings about this.

First, this is MY post, originally made May 22nd:

Sometimes, baby, it’s still so hard. I didn’t even get to know you, I didn’t even get to feel you move, and I miss you so, so much. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the right to feel as sad as I do.. There are so many women out there who have had such worse experiences than I have. 2nd term miscarriage, stillbirth.. With tragedies like that, I just feel wrong sometimes about being so sad about losing you at 7 weeks.

But it hurts. I loved you from the moment I knew you were there. No, I loved you before that. I wanted you so much. Why did you have to leave? You were so loved, so anticipated, so wanted.. I feel so empty sometimes. I just want you back. I want you healthy, kicking inside of me.. I want people to smile at me when they see me and ask me when I’m due. I want to be buying you clothes, diapers, and getting ready for your arrival. But instead, I’m sitting here with an empty womb, and a broken heart.. Still, even after 5 months. 5 months to the day, actually. I miss you so much.

Seeing pregnant bellies makes my heart hurt. It still makes me feel bitter, sad; resentful. It makes me feel this sense of longing that I thought was behind me when I found out I was pregnant. When I was pregnant with you, that feeling of envy that I used to have when I looked at pregnant women turned into a feeling of pride, of a sudden comraderie with those pregnant women, even if I wasn’t showing yet. But now I’ve regressed; I’m back at square one, I’m back to being jealous. And I hate it. I hate it so much.

Why did this have to happen to me? Why does this have to happen to anyone? My only hope is that the short time you were with me, you could somehow feel my love, little one. I never got to hold you in my arms, but I held you in my heart.

I love you, baby.

And here is her (slightly) modified post:

Sometimes, baby, it’s still so hard. I didn’t even get to know you, I didn’t even get to feel you move, and I miss you so, so much. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the right to feel as sad as I do.. There are so many women out there who have had even worse experiences than I have. 2nd term miscarriage, stillbirth.. With tragedies like that, I just feel wrong sometimes about being so sad about losing you at 6 and a half weeks.

But it hurts. I loved you from the moment I knew you were there. No, I loved you before that. I wanted you so much. Why did you have to leave? You were so loved, so anticipated, so wanted.. I feel so empty sometimes. I just want you back. I want you healthy, kicking inside of me.. I want people to smile at me when they see me and ask me when I’m due. I want to be buying you clothes, diapers, and getting ready for your arrival. But instead, I’m sitting here with an empty womb, and a broken heart.. Four weeks ago today, I watched with joy your heart beating on a screen. Three weeks ago today, we buried your memory box under the small crabapple tree in the yard of our new home. I miss you so much.

Seeing pregnant bellies makes my heart hurt. It still makes me feel bitter, sad; resentful. It makes me feel this sense of longing that I thought was behind me when I found out I was pregnant. When I was pregnant with you, that feeling of envy that I used to have when I looked at pregnant women turned into a feeling of pride, of a sudden comraderie with those pregnant women, even if I wasn’t showing yet. But now I’ve regressed; I’m back at square one, I’m back to being jealous. And I hate it. I hate it so much.

Why did this have to happen to me? Why did this have to happen to our family? Why does this have to happen to anyone? Your brothers hug the angel statue by the tree every day, and send a hug to heaven. I hope you feel it. My only hope is that the short time you were with me, you could somehow feel my love, little one. I never got to hold you in my arms, but I held you in my heart.

I love you, baby.

I don’t know, would you be upset if you were in my shoes? I’m just not sure how to feel about this.

Comments

  1. I had the same thing happen to me about a year ago. An online "friend" copied (WORD FOR WORD!)a "Letter to My Angel" that I had written about my first miscarriage. At first I was angry, then I emailed her and asked her why she had copied my words. She said my letter really touched her, and that she wanted to share my story with others. I told her it was nice that she cared, but it wasnt her story to share. The next day she reposted, with an apology, and gave me credit for the letter.I dont know the best way to handle it, or how exactly to confront her about it. Just wanted to let you know that it happened to me, too.

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