Sneaking Into the 2WW

I’m fairly confident that I have ovulated. I got a + OPK on Wednesday, and theoretically you are supposed to ovulate between 24-36 hours after getting a +. DH and I have BD’ed our little butts off for the past week and a half. I think I’m going to try and get one more session out of him tonight for safety’s sake.

I’m trying really, really hard not to be obsessive over all of this. Those of you who read my blog that are TTC, or have dealt with the TTC madness will know that once you turn that fertility awareness on in your brain, it is nearly impossible to turn it off. I can say, “we’re being relaxed about this” until I am blue in the face but the bottom line is this: I know my body now, I know my cycle. I know my fertility signs, I know when my period is supposed to be due, and I can’t just “unknow” those things. The things that I have been successful in toning down on are the fact that I no longer check my CP every few hours (I’m fairly certain I gave myself a UTI a few months ago doing that), I don’t temp, and I haven’t completely changed my behavior and lifestyle just because we are TTC. I drink one cup of caffeinated coffee in the mornings, which I wasn’t doing a few months ago. Sometimes I will sip on a soda, but I usually don’t finish one. If I am not in the 2WW and feel like having a beer, I will have a beer. Sometimes, I will have a beer even if I am in the 2ww but I don’t usually have more than one.

There are plenty of women out there who get pregnant when they are drinking, intaking caffeine, etc. The first time I got pregnant I didn’t stop drinking coffee until after I found out I was pregnant. I know that having a cup of coffee a day for the week before I knew I was pregnant didn’t cause me to lose my baby. Nothing could have prevented me from losing my baby, that little one was just not ready for this world yet.

While I was getting ready for work this morning standing at the bathroom sink brushing my teeth (topless), DH came in, put his hand on my shoulder and leaned down to kiss my belly. I smiled, and looked at him and said “What was that for?” and he looked at me and said, “You know what that was for.” He wants a baby just as badly as I do. I think that we are both feeling hopeful this month, like maybe it’s finally going to be our turn. One of the good things about being on our 8th cycle of trying is that I feel like the odds are slightly more in our favor with each passing month. We are obviously able to get pregnant; we did it the last time on our first try. I geniunely believe that the main issue that we’ve come across in conceiving again is that my ovulation has been irregular, and we simply have not had enough sex. We have definitely remedied THAT this cycle, because we’ve been BDing a lot. And it’s actually been really nice; I have noticed that the more we do it, the more I want to do it whether we “need” to or not. It’s almost like we were 5 years ago when we first got together.

A few weeks ago, DH asked me if I would mind changing our first born boy name. We had decided on Levi Alexander for our first boy but he requested it to be changed to Julius (Jude) Arlen. The second name is a family name, and he stated that he wanted to use it just in case we only end up with one boy. I agreed, though I was a little disappointed. I prefer the name Levi Alexander over the other, but it’ll be OK. Hopefully we will have two boys and will be able to use them both.

Today is Friday, and I’m very happy about that! I suppose I’m going to wrap this up and try and feign some semblance of productivity. I have the bad habit of being very, very lazy on Fridays.