1WW

So I guess that I am “officially” in the 1WW. I am really expecting my period between Weds. and Thurs. I am going to try to hold off on testing until next Saturday morning, providing AF hasn’t come to crash the party before then. Some things I’m noticing:

3/5 (estimated 7DPO): All day queasiness/nausea. Never threw up. DH was home sick from work due to throwing up all night, so not putting too much stock into it. Poking/itching/fluttering sensations in lower abdomen (I’m kind of writing these off to gas).
3/6 (estimated 8DPO): CM creamy/lotiony but a little less thick/more watery than yesterday. Feeling full in lower abdomen; typical pre-AF sensations. Breasts and nipples are sore, but no more swollen or any puffier than is usual for pre-AF. Have been getting very quickly and easily irritated.

All in all, there is nothing extraordinary or unusual about this cycle thus far. I’m not “feeling” pregnant. This doesn’t necessary mean that I’m not, but I just am not feeling it. We will see what we see.

P.S. I have a new blog. It’s a humor blog, and I’d be forever grateful if you’d go and give it a look! It’s not much yet, but I’ll be adding some posts to it soon.
I Find This Humorous

Blech!

I feel rotten today. I’m feeling very queasy in the stomach. I’m not getting my hopes up about this symptom because my husband is at home right now because he was puking all night. More than likely it’s the beginnings of whatever it is he has.

This morning my coffee tasted funny but I think it’s because of the new sweetener I put in it. I bought a box of Stevia in the Rough; Stevia is a natural no-cal sweetener. It’s supposed to taste more natural of Splenda, so I thought I’d try it. I think maybe it has a bitter taste at first because my coffee just tasted awful.

My CM has been consistently creamy for the past few days, which I am indifferent about. I know that it’s not unusual for copious amounts of creamy CM to be a sign of pregnancy, but I also know that it’s very typical for my body to produce a lot before AF. I’m now on CD24.

On a completely unrelated note, I opened my inbox today to be pleasantly surprised. I have been writing to a website called Helium which is a resource for people who enjoy writing. You can write various articles about countless matters. I have written about eight articles, and was informed today that a publisher has bought one of my articles for $5.00! I don’t know which article yet, but that’s really exciting. I’m a published writer, and I got paid for it! Woo hoo!

I also found out that we are receiving $300 more on our tax refund than I thought we would, and it is getting deposited into our bank account tomorrow!

It’s been a pretty good two days, even if I don’t feel well and feel barfy. Just a few more days to go ’till either AF shows her head or I get a nice surprise.

Still Working On Some Things…

I still get jealous when I see/read/hear about other pregnant women, especially if they have not been trying as long as I have.

This is not a fair emotion for me to have, but it’s there. Unless you’ve been on this TTC Roller-coaster, and especially if you’ve never experienced the loss of a baby, you can’t and won’t ever understand. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

It’s not an emotion I like to feel. It makes me feel petty and bitter. I don’t like feeling that way, I’d rather feel positive and optimistic, and happy for those fertile little ladies. I try very hard to put things in perspective. It’s just hard when I’ve been wanting for so long, and trying for so long and am still unsuccessful and others just have such an easy time at it.

So, that’s my little confession. It’s something I need to work at and every day I get a little better.

Cycle Notes

So things I am noticing about this cycle thus far:

Monday 3/2 (estimated 4DPO): Aching/cramping near left ovary and in left lower back. Lots of creamy CM early in the day. Irritable.
Tuesday 3/3 (estimated 5DPO): Sharp stabbing pains on right side near ovary. HIGH IRRITABILITY, mostly to small things. Feel a bit irrational. Lots of creamy CM early in the day. Tired.

So those are the notes I’m making so far. I’m not saying these are IPS or anything, I’m just noting them for my own personal reference. I am really irrationally irritable today, though. I’m seriously ready to blow up at my coworkers for no apparent reason, and especially my manager. He just flippantly gives me these stupid tasks to do, and assumes that I automatically know how to do them. Frigging a-hole. I’m also very tired.

These are all normal PMS symptoms so I’m not getting my hopes up. I’m done reading into IPS because I have been very badly deceived by them in the past.

The Power of Dreams?

Okay, so now I’m starting to get a little weirded out, but in a good way.

I visited TTCAM this morning to do my daily check-in, and I noticed a post that (literally) had my name on it. I opened the post and this is what it said:

Hi Natalie, I am not sure if you remember me or not, but I used to be active on this board about 6 months ago. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that for some odd reason I had a dream about you. I was telling you how frustrated that I was about not getting pg for a long time and then you stood up and low and behold, you had a huge belly. I thought that it was odd that I would dream about you after being absent from this board for a while, but I did. I hope that it brings you good luck and that my dream does come true for you.

I was startled to say the least. Remember my “fishy dream” post? Well, after reading this woman’s post to me, I remembered a THIRD dream that someone I know has had about me, and in the dream I was pregnant. The third person is my friend E whom I’ve known for years via another blog, and her post was this:

In one, Natalie was sitting at a table, wearing these cute black horn rimmed reading glasses and her hair was sort of short and curly (just below the ear I’d say) and she was looking at a map of a mountain range, and tracing her finger around the outside, into the sillhouette of a pregnant body. She was happy and smiling which makes me think she must have been pregnant.

So within the course of a month, three separate people, none of whom know each other, have had dreams about me being pregnant. The “fish” dream my cousin had wasn’t blatently about me being pregnant but she insists that she’s had other dreams that were similar and every time she had a dream like that, someone she knew was pregnant.

I’m not all superstitious and I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but this literally gave me chills and really startled me… But in a good way.