10 Weeks Vs. 18 Weeks

Conquering Your Fear

I have finally gotten over a pregnancy fear of mine. During my entire first trimester, I wanted to drink coffee. I smelled it; I craved it, yet I avoided it like the plague. After losing our first baby, I was terrified of going anywhere near caffeine. What was even sillier was that I was terrified of going near DECAFFEINATED coffee! I abstained through my entire first trimester, and finally broke down when I hit the second trimester and had a cup of decaf.

I can happily say that I am now over my fear of decaf coffee! I’m sipping on a cup right now, though I don’t think I will finish it. Now that I’m 17 weeks pregnant, I feel like I can safely indulge in certain things. No, I don’t drink alcohol of course and drinking an entire caffeinated soda is out, but I will drink decaf coffee and have a sip of someone else’s soda if I’m really wanting a taste of some real Coca-Cola.

I’ve had friends of mine who have advised me that if I want a Coke, drink a Coke! If I crave a cup of coffee, go for it girl! I have also noticed that these women who give me this advice and encouragement have also never lost a baby, and therefore haven’t felt the burden of worry that mommies who have had miscarriages have. Now, I’m not saying that a woman who hasn’t experienced a loss doesn’t worry during her pregnancy. I’m not saying that at all. I am merely saying that a woman who has not been touched by a pregnancy loss has the benefit of being more carefree. When you haven’t had a loss, you are able to enjoy your pregnancy more because you aren’t counting the days until you’re past the milestone that was your first loss, you’re not constantly analyzing every twinge you feel just to judge if it feels similar to the start of your miscarriage.

Sometimes I envy women who haven’t had losses; yet at the same time I feel sort of grateful that I had to go through the experience. Crazy, I know. But everything happens for a reason and my loss changed me. It gave me a newfound insight and perspective that I never would have gained otherwise. I can now empathize with women who have had losses, and I now know the way to deal with it and what NOT to say. My heart goes out to ladies who struggle to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I know that desperate wanting of a baby and yet being unsuccessful month after month. I truly feel like, in a way, my loss was a gift given to me. I can be a source of support to other women who have gone through what I have and share my personal experience and offer hope. It opened my eyes. I miss the baby I lost every day, but as I said I believe that everything does happen for a reason. As hard as it was to accept that when I first had my miscarriage, I think that I finally have accepted it.

Speaking of our Green Bean, yesterday marked one year since my due date. It came and went, I thought about it and I thought about that baby. I wondered what he would have been like now, if he would be talking at all, walking, etcetera. Then I thought of the new baby inside of me and smiled.

Hubby and I chatted before going to bed last night with our hands on my belly, dreaming of what this little baby will be like. I said I think that this baby will be funny, and silly, and kind, and smart. When he or she is little, they’ll be silly/funny but when they get older, they will be witty. This baby will have a touch of mischief in their eyes always, but have a good heart. This baby has unlimited potential, and can be whatever s/he wants to be (aside from a serial killer, that much we agreed on. No serial killer for Gummi). Sometimes I forget to just stop and think about the little life that’s forming inside of me. It’s easy to do when you don’t feel movement yet, and your belly hasn’t yet swelled to the point of “looking pregnant”. I tell people all the time that I’m pregnant and yet, sometimes it doesn’t sink all the way in. I have to stop and think, oh yeah.. I’m making a human right now. And that thought never ceases to put a huge, goofy smile on my face.

17 Weeks – Baby Turnip

Your baby’s skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she’s around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop.

–From BabyCenter.com

Bossy Baby

We had our 16 week appointment yesterday. It was very uneventful and routine, which is good. We got in to see the doctor, and she listened for the baby on the doppler. It took her a little while to find the baby but when she did, there was no mistaking what that noise was! It was so loud this time. I commented on how loud it was and she said, “He’s just being bossy.”

I asked the doctor her opinion on getting vaccinated against the swine flu. I expressed my concern on the newness of the vaccine, and how I wasn’t really comfortable with the little testing time it will have before it becomes available. She hemmed and hawed for a few moments and said that if it were her, she would get it. I asked if just a normal flu vaccine would suffice and she said that the normal flu vaccine isn’t supposed to protect against swine flu. She wasn’t adamantly “YES GET THE SHOT!” but she did say she would get it if it were her. I am probably still not going to get it.

After that, they took my blood for my genetics testing and they sent us on our way. We have our date set, FINALLY, for the BIG ULTRASOUND!!!!! September 2nd is when we will hopefully get to find out if we are having a little man, or a little lady. So exciting!

Google Searches

One thing I love about the page tracker gadget I have on this blog is the ability to find out how people found their way here. One of my favorite things to look at is when people do Google searches, and what they searched for to wind up here. Here’s the latest searches that have plopped people here:

  • when i sit down i feel my uterus, is that okay?
  • ttc treadmill 5.0mph
  • swine flu whether to terminate pregnancy (wtf?)

Just thought it was interesting to see how folks find my blog!

16 Weeks – Baby Avacado

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he’s about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren’t recognizable yet. He’s even started growing toenails. And there’s a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

–From BabyCenter.com

Pre-Appointment Anxiety

My next appointment is tomorrow. Nothing huge; just some bloodwork and probably a listen on the doppler. I’m feeling a little anxious, which I remember feeling before my last appointment. Oddly enough with our first appointment at 8 weeks, I felt nothing but peace but the past two appointments I’ve been a little nervous before each one.

I guess it’s because it’s been 8 weeks since we’ve seen the baby and 4 since we’ve heard the heartbeat. I’m feeling no movement yet and don’t have much belly swelling to speak of. I keep worrying if everything is developing OK. Should my belly be rounder? Should I be able to feel my uterus? I have to constantly remind myself that I’m not a skinny girl, and naturally I am not going to show as soon as others and my uterus is not going to be as easy to feel through my fluffy tummy. I still feel like everything’s OK, but I still worry at the same time. Does that make sense?

It doesn’t help matters much that I’ve been having, er, tummy problems. Namely constipation, which is making me incredibly uncomfortable “down there”. I feel full and bloated all the time, I am having problems passing gas and sometimes the initial push of urination causes discomfort. In the rare instances I’m able to release some gas I immediately feel relief but it is short-lived; it comes back after I eat. I know that gas/constipation is a normal part of pregnancy but boy is it uncomfortable!

I’m also feeling tender and just uncomfortable down there; which is a feeling that’s familiar from early in the first trimester. I suspect that my uterus is growing and that is also a cause for discomfort. At any rate I’ll talk to my doctor and make sure it all sounds normal; I’d like to rule out any sort of bladder infection. I don’t think I have a bladder infection as it doesn’t burn to pee; I just have to push a little sometimes and from what I’ve read that’s normal for pregnancy.

Okay, enough talk about my bathroom habits. I stayed home from work yesterday because my tummy was uncomfortable. I didn’t HAVE to stay home and I could have worked, but I was a lot more comfortable resting on the couch rather than having to sit uncomfortably at work all day. Of course, I’m sitting uncomfortably at work right now but what’re you gonna do? Gotta make the moneys.

Differences in 1st and 2nd Trimesters

Things that have gone away from the 1st Trimester:

  1. Morning sickness
  2. Badly broken out skin
  3. Overwhelming fatigue
  4. HORRIBLE heartburn

Things that have surfaced in the 2nd Trimester:

  1. Stuffy nose
  2. Sinus problems
  3. Sore throat
  4. Tense shoulders/neck
  5. Discomfort when standing for prolonged periods of time
  6. Increased shortness of breath
  7. PEEING 8,000 TIMES A NIGHT
  8. Being taken over by a crazy woman who cannot control her mood swings
  9. An itty, bitty baby bump :)

The end.

Dear Weather

Dear Weather,

Hi! Um, so, how are you? No, wait. I already know how you are. YOU SUCK! That’s how you are!

Seriously, all this heat and humidity? Nuh uh. Not diggin it. Makes me all stuffy nosed and sinusey. I know I’m not the only one, I have loads of friends who think so, too. Perhaps you just “haven’t gotten the memo”, Weather. But uh, lots of us are unhappy with you and your job performance lately.

Also, I don’t know what it is about you in particular in the region I live, but holy crap almighty you are murder on my allergies. I feel like I have a scratchy throat all the time. I’m not particularly fond of having a scratchy throat all the time, and I’m sure you wouldn’t be either if, you know… You had a throat. I’m pretty sure you don’t though, because you’re kind of not an actual, tangible thing.

Okay so anyway Weather, what I’m really trying to ask here is for a little break. We’ve still got at least 2 months of heat, I know. But could you maybe kick it down just a FEW degrees? Would it kill you to be 75-80 instead of 85-90 EVERY SINGLE DAY? It would be much appreciated, seeing as how I have no air conditioning in my car. Yeah. And the humidity could stand to just go completely. Also, please try doing something about whatever the hell it is that’s floating around in the air that’s making my throat feel like it’s being chewed by ants 24/7. Thanks.

Natalie