Being Uncomfortable and My Zombie Baby

When I sit in my chair at my desk, my lower back becomes uncomfortable.

When I sit on the couch at home for too long, my lower back becomes uncomfortable.

When I sleep on my side, my arms fall asleep and my hip…. Becomes uncomfortable.

I think I am officially reaching the stage in this pregnancy where my “honeymoon trimester” is coming to a close and the “PLEASE GET THIS BABY THE HELL OUT OF ME” trimester is taking its’ place.

Don’t get me wrong, I have loved being pregnant. Aside from the morning upchuck rituals from weeks 6-13, my pregnancy has been relatively easy. But now I am becoming increasingly slow and fat. I’m actually relatively certain that I now have my own gravitational pull which is comfirmed by a friend who joked that I should “go as a globe for Halloween”. I think my response was “suck it, asshole”. In fact, when someone who hasn’t seen me for a few weeks gets a glimpse of me now, their first response is to yelp, “HOLY SHIT, YOU’RE HUGE.” To which I nod solemnly and remind them that I still have 3 months to go.

I don’t mind being huge, really I don’t. I’ve waited for this for so long, I really do cherish every moment of this pregnancy. But I sure would like to be able to sit without feeling like someone is pulling the muscles of my lower/upper back and ass apart, eat without the fear that whatever I am eating will cause acid to bubble from my stomach and burn the lining of my esophagus off, and I sure would like a night where I’m not getting up every 3 hours to expell three squirts of urine from my bladder.

Oh, and also, I’m going to be giving birth in about 3 months time. This means that something that is approximately the size of a canteloupe is going to be pushing, tearing, and forcefully making its’ way from my vagina; the opening of which is most certainly NOT the size of a canteloupe. I’m not Jenna Jameson, after all. ZING.

Also, this baby is stubborn. She is probably the most stubborn baby in the world, and I say this because of the way she moves. Around week 23, I started feeling her a lot. She’d kick me so hard I thought my cervix was going to fall out of my vagina and land on the floor, and then I’d have to explain to whomever was unfortunate enough to witness that event what the hell that was, and why it was sitting there, all weird lookin’ and gross. I would then probably have to help them clean up the pile of vomit that resulted in discovering what was lying on the floor before them, which would probably make me vomit, because let’s face it. Vomit is gross.
Anyway, back to why my child is stubborn. Did I mention that pregnancy is also making me ridiculously spacey and absent-minded? Yeah.
So now Nellie has taken to playing the “let’s give mom just a few kicks a day to keep her happy” game. Mom likes to be kicked. A lot. Pops, bumps, kicks; bring it on, kiddo. The more, the better. Nellie has decided that a few bumps, kicks, and punches here and there are sufficient. And heaven forbid if mom, dad, or anyone else tries to put their hands on the belly to feel her from the outside. She could be doing a damn Riverdance in there and the second someone’s hands grace the stretched skin of my stomach, she stops. IMMEDIATELY. I’m not kidding. It’s like a switch being flipped. I can imagine her in there, floating around with this big grin on her face. Little booger. She really does know how to freak me out. I’ll start worrying about her after not feeling anything for a few hours, so naturally I will poke, prod, shake and wiggle to try and get her to move. I will not feel a damn thing. I will repeat this process for approximately five minutes. Nada. Once I stop, ten minutes later she’ll kick me a few times as if to say, “See? I move on MY time, mom. NOT YOURS. I am not a trained monkey.”

Sigh. Either my kid is going to be a stubborn nightmare, or she’s going to be the most mellow and chill baby ever. Maybe this kid just isn’t very hyper. My guess is that she’s stubborn considering who she came from.

This entry got really long and rambly. Did I mention that this baby has sapped all of my brain cells and left me with, like, two? Babies eat brain cells.

Like zombies.

26 Weeks – Baby English Hothouse Cucumber

The network of nerves in your baby’s ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner’s as you chat with each other. He’s inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he’s born and takes that first gulp of air. And he’s continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel. If you’re having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take about two to three days.

Sneezy Pants, Movie Nights, and Potential New Digs

Oh, it’s Monday again. And it’s rainy! Boo for both. I appear to be in the throes of an allergy attack, which is a bummer. It started yesterday and hasn’t let up. I’m sneezing every few minutes which means my poor little nose will probably be raw by the end of the day. I feel fine, just sneezy. I popped a Claritin not too long ago so hopefully it’ll help kill the sneezes in a few hours.

We had a good weekend. We went and looked at a new apartment on Saturday. We had pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that we were going to be stuck in our 1 BR for another 6 months, as every place we had looked at had security deposits. Due to DH’s work being painfully dry lately, we haven’t had the ability to save up enough for a deposit so we were searching for a place with a “no security deposit” special. Luckily, we found one not far away from where we already live. A 2 BR place for $10 more than what we are paying for our 1 BR place currently. We went and checked it out, and liked what we saw. It has 2 full bathrooms, plenty of closet space (which is something our current apartment lacks), a patio and a storage closet out on the patio. The appliances are a bit older than I’d like, but they are in fine working order which is what’s important. It has a separate washer/dryer area which is great, and water plus basic cable are included. Score!
We had to put $145 down ($100 to reserve the apartment, and $45 as an app. fee) but the $100 is going to come off our first month’s rent. I’m feeling optimistic; the only roadblock we may run into is needing a cosignor since DH doesn’t get paystubs from his job and providing proof of income is difficult for him. Not a big deal; I’m sure we can find someone to cosign for us if need be. I am hoping that my pay stubs, and our 4 years of good rental history from our current complex will be sufficient.

Yesterday afternoon we went down to the Market, got some kettle corn and looked around and headed to my brother in law’s house. We cooked burgers and watched the Lost Boys.
Last night we went to our friend’s apartment and hung out and watched Halloween-themed movies. We watched Trick r’ Treat first, which was great.. I’ve been wanting to see that movie for about 2 years now. For some reason there was some weird delay on its’ DVD release. I first saw a preview for it about 2 years ago and it was just recently put out on DVD. I enjoyed it very much. We ate popcorn and cookies, and watched A Nightmare on Elm Street which was full of many laughs. I hadn’t ever seen the original Nightmare, so that was fun.

I’ve been getting used to life without Ada. I still get a little sad when I look out into the screened in porch and she’s not there, but I do have to admit my stress levels have gone down quite a bit. I don’t have to worry about where she’s peed, if she’s peed or think about cleaning it up. I hope she’s adjusting to her new home well. I do think about her a lot and hope she’s OK, but I do have to say I am a little relieved and things have been easier.

Okay.. I’m going to work on my weekly update. 26 weeks pregnant. One week away from the THIRD TRIMESTER!!!!