Losing Green Bean – 2 Years Later

Today marks 2 years since we lost our first baby, whom I lovingly called ‘Green Bean’.

I found out that I was pregnant with GB on December 1st, 2007 after only one attempt trying to conceive. To say that we were excited is an understatement, as you can tell if you clicked on the link a few lines back. You were with us for a little over three weeks, baby. You were so small; so tiny. We got to see your heart beating on an ultrasound just three days before you had to leave us and I am so, so glad I got the chance to see you. I still have your picture in the frame we bought (“Watching You Grow, Loving You So”). It’s wrapped safely away in the Baby Looney Tunes blanket daddy got for you, and tucked away in a very special box. I’m wearing my Forget-Me-Not necklace in memory of you today.

I’m pregnant with your sister right now. This time last year was so hard, because not only was it the first anniversary and my heart was aching; not only from missing you but also because we still didn’t have a precious baby to love. You were the very first, Green Bean and nothing will ever change that. The day we lost you was one of the darkest, saddest moments of my life. You taught me so much, and having you for the short period of time defined me in ways I never thought possible. You changed my life, little one.. For the better, and forever. I will always remember and love you.

And again, here is Your Song, little one.. The one that makes me think of you every time I hear it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arTtGq-E8Xo

Love, Always and Always,

Mommy.

Comments

  1. Thinking of you today! Green Bean will always be watching over Nellie!! Hugs to you and Josh!
    Oh and I give you permission to make Nellie move as often as you want today! :)

  2. These anniversaries are so hard. ((Hugs))

  3. Busted Kate says:

    I'm so happy you are finally getting your "happily ever after", you are going to be such a wonderful mother. I'm thrilled that little soul finally made it through to you!

    I've got 4 of these dates now, and I'm hoping I can have a post like this someday soon… you give me hope! Much love darlin'.

  4. I love how you said "I'm pregnant with your sister". It made me think of myself and our little "green bean" we lost 2 years ago this past July and that I am pregnant with his/her sister too. I sometimes think my baby would have been almost 2 right now. Crazy.

  5. My heart goes out to you. I'm sure Nellie's going to bring a lot of joy to your lives and help to ease some of this sadness.

  6. Knit Purl Gurl says:

    What a beautiful post to your green bean. Thinking of you. :)

  7. What a lovely post. Bless your little Green Bean.

  8. Bless your heart and {virtual} hugs to you. And welcome to the SITS community.

  9. Thank you for all of your sweet comments and thoughts, and for keeping us in your thoughts yesterday!

  10. JDaniel4's Mom says:

    I can't imagine how hard it is. I think it was really touching that you wrote about it.

    Stopping by from SITS!

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