My Big Fat Pregnant Belly

Wednesday night my brother-in-law treated my husband and me to a night out at a local comedy club. They are having a talent search for stand-up comedians and my brother-in-law’s friend was competing. Since we’re broke, he paid our way in and also bought us some munchies. I love going to this comedy club and we always have a great time.
While we were there, I noticed not one – but two waitresses who appeared to be pregnant. They were both very small girls with poochy tummies that looked to be baby bellies. I, of course, did NOT ask them “How far along are you?”, “When’s the baby due?”, or any of those questions that are risky to ask a woman who you just think may be pregnant. If I were a betting lady (which I’m not… at all) I would bet they were both around 18-22 weeks along. They were wearing shirts that said, “I’ll drink to that!” which I thought was hysterical because I’m all about irony, ya’ll. Anyway, I was watching them scurry back and forth and thinking how cute their little bellies looked when I looked down at the MASSIVE, GIGANTIC, MOUND OF STOMACH that is my own baby bump and it hit me.
I mean, not just like “Oh, look at that cute little pregnant lady”. It’s getting to the point of, “Damn, she’s going to explode.” and “Um. You have HOW many weeks left?”
Yeah. I’m beginning to be that fat pregnant lady you see waddling through Target. You stare at her, shuffling slowly through the aisles and worry if her water is going to break RIGHTTHATVERYSECOND.
I remember being 18 weeks pregnant and finally buying my first pair of maternity pants. I would proudly take weekly belly pictures from that point on; arching my back veeeeery slightly to make that tiny little pooch stick out just a bit further. I recall looking at my pregnant self-portraits at around 22 weeks and thinking that I was so huge and looked SO PREGNANT. I look at my weekly belly pictures now and laugh at my less-pregnant self and how delusional I was.
I also remember when I started to feel a tad bit uncomfortable in the lower back region (around 21 weeks). Now I long for the days of that “discomfort” because it feels like someone’s pulling my lower back muscles apart. Slowly. Deliberately. Relishing in my discomfort. Nothing helps. Getting up and walking around will temporarily, and lying on my side usually does. Unfortunately, I’d look a little odd lying on the floor here at work so I am out of luck. So here I sit, with a sore and aching back marveling at how such a little tiny person could cause my back soooo much pain. I’m not complaining, mind you because I’d go through this and a thousand times worse for her. I’m just saying how naive and silly I was to think at 21 weeks that the back discomfort I was experiencing wouldn’t get worse.. Because it did. Oh, it did.
My next pregnancy, I am taking yoga from the beginning. And exercising regularly. Because this pregnancy I haven’t. Miraculously enough my weight has not spiraled out of control despite the fact that I sit on my fat ass all day and do very little physical exercise… But next time, I think my body will thank me if I stay active.
So anyhow, it was fun seeing those pregnant ladies and their cute budding little bumps. I love my baby belly, and relish in rubbing it as it grows rounder and rounder and my resemblance to Peter Griffin grows more and more uncanny each day.

Note from Mama:
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  1. Teresha@Marlie and M says:

    this post had me rotfl…pregnant cocktail waitresses wearing tees that say, "I'll drink to that"…hilarious! Honestly, all pregnant mommies think they are H-U-G-E! You have a nice belly bump, not busting at the seams (although you feel that way…I remember that feeling). Congrats on your pregnancy. Will visit again to see baby pics.came by from Busted Plumbing…congrats on your Kreativ Blogger award

  2. KarmaPearl says:

    Teresha – thanks for the visit! I'm going to swing by your blog and take a look!

  3. Hehe. I have so much to look forward to. Maybe I should be proactive and do some prenantal yoga to help with my back problem. Thanks for the good laugh on a day that has been rough so far! I guess I should enjoy the not so pregnant pregnant belly while I have it!

  4. KarmaPearl says:

    @stumbull I would HIGHLY getting into prenatal yoga now before you get too heavy and tired to do it. I had meant to start all through my pregnancy and my motivation just never found me. I know my body would be having an easier time now with this extra weight if I had done it earlier on! And you're welcome. I'm sorry you're having a bad day! I hope it gets better for you!

  5. you are NOT huge, but i understand the feeling……believe me!

  6. Kimmygintx says:

    LOL! I'm starting to feel huge too… I've had so many people at work tell me I look like I'm ready to pop- and I have about a month and a half til my due date!

  7. thesimplekind says:

    Just ran across your blog, wanted to say congrats! Enjoyed reading

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