PreSeed Giveaway Winners!

There were three winners of the PreSeed giveaway and they are:








Congrats to Tillie, Kayce, and Kaitlin! Please e-mail me at nagreen84@gmail.com with your address so I can send it to ING Fertility and you can have your prizes!

Mommy Vs. Angry Badger

So Nellie does this thing now where she fights sleep and has EPIC BABY MELTDOWNS when I try and make her go to sleep. She can also go from happy to THRASHING ANGRY BADGER BABY in less than five seconds. I shit you not, she will be happy and cooing and drooling all over me when suddenly, her face goes blank, her lip pooches out and her body tenses up. She will then start wailing like I just bit her little toe off.


WTF, kid?

Also, when I’m feeding her I’ve learned to take the bottle out of her mouth and burp her every ounce or she will VOMIT UP HER OWN NOSE. But when I take that bottle out, Jesus. Her entire body goes tense, she screws up her face and she SCREAMS BLOODY EFFING MURDER. I’ll pull her to my chest to burp her and she puts her feet on my legs and shoves herself upward, flailing her arms at the same time. After a few moments if that doesn’t work, I’ll sit her on my leg bending forward slightly (a pose that was so very easy when she was newborn and pliable) and try and burp her that way. She thrashes her head from side to side, looking around frantically, swings her arms, and bucks.

WTF, kid???

And bedtime/naptime? OH LORD HAVE MERCY. Don’t even get me STARTED on that shit. Nellie no longer falls asleep on her own unless she’s
A: in the carseat with a full tummy or
B: being pushed in the stroller with a full tummy.

Nooooononono. She needs to be swaddled, rocked and paci-ed. And even then, I have to hold her down like some sort of wild beast because as soon as that paci gets popped in her mouth, those tiny little eyelids start to flutter. And when they do, she realizes that she’s losing and gets PISSED. That’s when my sweet baby daughter turns into the ANGRY THRASHING BADGER FROM HELL.

She’s swaddled at this point so she can’t swing her arms but by god she tries. She pulls, and bucks, and kicks her legs. She SHRIEKS and SCREAMS and throws her head from side to side. I have to grab her, cling her to me, pat her on the butt and hold the pacifier in her mouth. She will begin falling asleep again, realize that she’s losing the battle and become a writhing bundle of tears and screams again. This process goes on for at least five, sometimes ten minutes before she finally tires herself out and goes to sleep. I then have to hold her for at LEAST 10 to 15 minutes to ensure she’s really asleep, because if I don’t and I dare put her in her crib she will wake up the SECOND her little body hits that mattress. And if I stop patting her butt, or take my hand off the paci and it falls out? She wakes up, loses her shit and I have to start all over.

Oy. Vey.

And you know what? She doesn’t do this for ANYONE BESIDES ME. I tell people this, and then she goes and falls asleep peacefully on her daddy while he’s watching her at night.

I found a grey hair today. Wonder why?