Dear Upstairs Neighbors

Dear Upstairs Neighbors,

Hi! It’s your friendly downstairs new mommy. We haven’t formally met, but my name is Natalie. I don’t care what your name is. I’m talking and you’re listening.

I know for the past, oh, 3 months there has been a screaming, crying, howling infant in my apartment. Trust me. I KNOW. We’re the ones who, in the beginning, got woken up at 10, 12, 2, 4, 6, and 8 by her. So trust me. I’M AWARE THAT MY BABY CRIES. She can’t help but cry. She’s a baby. I can’t stop her from crying. SHE’S A BABY.

That being said, the next time you feel compelled to stomp through your apartment as if you are practicing for some kind of Mr. Heavyfoot Convention and wake up my baby from a nap, I will let YOU deal with the snarling, shrieking, thrashing Crank Monster that she becomes. I will let YOU rock her back to sleep as she bucks and twists and SCREAMS every time her little eyes start to flutter closed because she is overtired FROM BEING WOKEN UP FROM A 30 MINUTE NAP.

The next time your kid decides to run and yell RIGHTOUTSIDEHERWINDOW, YOU will be the one who deals with her as she squirms and fights off sleep like some sort of crazed badger swaddled in pink.

You’re already famous on my blog from a previous post. Don’t make me sic my readers on you. THEY WILL END YOU.

No. Effing. Love,
Angry Mama Natalie

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  1. A New Mom says:

    LOL! We are going through this too. I swear they have a bowling alley upstairs from us, cuz they are constantly dropping about a million bowling balls on the ceiling…of course right over my sons room!

  2. AARRGH!! The neighbor's kid does the same thing here – they have a HUGE yard and he chooses to stand and pretty much scream/squeal RIGHT OUTSIDE D's bedroom – of course, when she's asleep. I want to punch the kid. That's wrong huh? I'm happy to sic the neighbor if that helps :)

  3. Hahahahaha Mr. Heavyfoot. Too bad the reality isn't as funny.You know we've got your back! This is why I could never tolerate living anywhere but on the top floor! Of course we're upstairs from The Marlboro Lady who I swear smokes three packs of cigs a day in her apartment, so we have our own set of problems.

  4. Silver Spoon, Paper says:

    That's rough. I'm so sorry. I dealt with a similar but lesser evil today while trying to get my pregnancy nap in … the neighbor's dog. The neighbor's kid. I'm just hoping we're not nearly as annoying to our downstairs neighbors.

  5. I hate when my daughter is woken up from naps – it's usually the damn telephone or garbagemen or FedEx delivery guy ringing my doorbell – and yes, it's pure hell when a baby wakes up after a mere 30-minute nap. Believe me, I wish I could put the world in "silent mode" between 12:30-3:00 every day. I think every momma deals with this on some level. Hang in there. :(

  6. When you feel blue about going back to work, think about your upstairs neighbors. Work = extra $ = $ to save for a house with no upstairs neighbors.

  7. I almost wonder if, next time they wake her up, you scoop her up in all of her screaming glory, and walk go knock on your neighbor's door and politely (if possible) ask them if they could keep it down.I kind of wonder if a screaming baby at their front door will drive the point home.

  8. can I just say WOW You are really learning what not to do! Oh my

  9. Honey B. says:

    When Marmot had his apartment before he moved in with me, we always joked that Two-Ton Tess lived up stairs because we never saw the person that lived there, and it sounded like someone ENORMOUS was walking around up there! lol

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