Mommy Vs. Angry Badger

So Nellie does this thing now where she fights sleep and has EPIC BABY MELTDOWNS when I try and make her go to sleep. She can also go from happy to THRASHING ANGRY BADGER BABY in less than five seconds. I shit you not, she will be happy and cooing and drooling all over me when suddenly, her face goes blank, her lip pooches out and her body tenses up. She will then start wailing like I just bit her little toe off.


WTF, kid?

Also, when I’m feeding her I’ve learned to take the bottle out of her mouth and burp her every ounce or she will VOMIT UP HER OWN NOSE. But when I take that bottle out, Jesus. Her entire body goes tense, she screws up her face and she SCREAMS BLOODY EFFING MURDER. I’ll pull her to my chest to burp her and she puts her feet on my legs and shoves herself upward, flailing her arms at the same time. After a few moments if that doesn’t work, I’ll sit her on my leg bending forward slightly (a pose that was so very easy when she was newborn and pliable) and try and burp her that way. She thrashes her head from side to side, looking around frantically, swings her arms, and bucks.

WTF, kid???

And bedtime/naptime? OH LORD HAVE MERCY. Don’t even get me STARTED on that shit. Nellie no longer falls asleep on her own unless she’s
A: in the carseat with a full tummy or
B: being pushed in the stroller with a full tummy.

Nooooononono. She needs to be swaddled, rocked and paci-ed. And even then, I have to hold her down like some sort of wild beast because as soon as that paci gets popped in her mouth, those tiny little eyelids start to flutter. And when they do, she realizes that she’s losing and gets PISSED. That’s when my sweet baby daughter turns into the ANGRY THRASHING BADGER FROM HELL.

She’s swaddled at this point so she can’t swing her arms but by god she tries. She pulls, and bucks, and kicks her legs. She SHRIEKS and SCREAMS and throws her head from side to side. I have to grab her, cling her to me, pat her on the butt and hold the pacifier in her mouth. She will begin falling asleep again, realize that she’s losing the battle and become a writhing bundle of tears and screams again. This process goes on for at least five, sometimes ten minutes before she finally tires herself out and goes to sleep. I then have to hold her for at LEAST 10 to 15 minutes to ensure she’s really asleep, because if I don’t and I dare put her in her crib she will wake up the SECOND her little body hits that mattress. And if I stop patting her butt, or take my hand off the paci and it falls out? She wakes up, loses her shit and I have to start all over.

Oy. Vey.

And you know what? She doesn’t do this for ANYONE BESIDES ME. I tell people this, and then she goes and falls asleep peacefully on her daddy while he’s watching her at night.

I found a grey hair today. Wonder why?

Comments

  1. Christina says:

    please know that you are not alone, lol, Izzy can get very "wild animal" too!

  2. Jennifer Elliott says:

    My daughter was almost the same exact way! Except she wouldn't dare take a pacifier, and she always managed to wriggle her way out of her swaddling! I totally feel your pain!She, too, thrashed her head side to side…which explains the ring of baldness that wraps around her head! And taking away the bottle…oh my!Honestly, the only thing that worked for me was to stay at my parents' or in-laws' houses so THEY would put her to sleep…since they were SO much better at it than me!…and she still fights sleep at 5 months! At least she's not an angry badger anymore. Just a damn fussy baby! Good luck! I'll be sending positive thoughts your way!

  3. LMAO! Find some comfort in knowing that it's just a phase – and what you described is so common with babies her age. They're difficult creatures! Hang in there, Momma. Just keep your sense of humor about it because, really, that's the only thing you can do.

  4. So the solution is simple: make Daddy take over bedtime! :)

  5. KarmaPearl says:

    @Cole Daddy works nights. 😉 But on his nights off, I do have a lot of help.

  6. LOL too funny. Audrey started fighting sleep last week and I know what you mean!

  7. Awww Baby Badger! I sure can't wait to experience this kind of madness for myself!She sure is cute though. :)

  8. Christine says:

    I am LMAO…oy. vey. Hahaha!She sounds a lot like me. Vera unhappy when someone pulls the plug on the smorgasbord, before I'm finished…grrrrr.My kids were always perfect angels. For everyone else. That's all that matters….they let the ugly hang out with the one person that will always forgive them. They're smart cookies like that!!

  9. Oh, I so feel your pain on some of this. Sometimes Riley freaks the HELL out when we try to burp her during her bottle, too. We've learned to *very quickly* shove the paci in as soon as we pull the bottle out. That usually works.And the fighting sleep thing? Yeah, that is my little girl, too. It's at the worst around 7pm, when she's tired and ready to go to sleep FOR REAL, not just a nap. She absolutely screams and can't handle it. She won't calm down for ANYONE but me……God forbid her Daddy try to soothe her at this time of day. So. frustrating. Argh.Good thing she has completely monopolized my entire heart, mind and soul. :-)

  10. I can relate 😉 Sounds like she's trying to push the envelope, huh? Argh. What I hate is when you tell someone about how they're doing x and then they do the same thing with her and it's fine. It's almost like these little babies have an inside joke going… hmmmf. Just as well she's cute huh? :)

  11. Anonymous says:

    You don't know me- linked from LJ, but have advice for you- when you take the bottle out of her mouth and she freaks out, stick the paci in right away. Made feeding my daughter SO MUCH easier!

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