This is the continuing story of how my husband and I met and fell in love. You can read from the beginning here:
In the last installment of When Mommy Met Daddy, I left you on the verge of breaking up with my ex-boyfriend (for real this time.)
From the last post..
After a few more hours of chat, I had made up my mind. I was going to do it, and for real this time. I wasn’t going to back down. I was going to Remember the Equal Tablets. I had made up my mind, and the next day was going to be THE DAY. Morning sure did come quickly, let me tell you what.
I woke that morning with a bowling ball of dread in my stomach. My ex-boyfriend was home from his third shift job and was sleeping. I had to go to work that morning so I got up, got myself ready, and got online to check my e-mail and stuff. I’m terrible with confrontation and when it comes to arguments with significant others and when trying to make my case with people I have the tendency to completely forget every single valid point I was going to make. So, to kind of give myself a pep talk for the conversation we were going to have to have that evening and to remind myself of the key points I wanted to make, I wrote an e-mail. I addressed the letter to him without the intention of ever sending it. I sent it to myself instead so it could sit in my inbox. I basically said everything I was feeling; that I wanted to break up and there was no going back. I knew while I was writing this e-mail that what I was about to do was not easy and it hurt, but it was the right thing to do. I was more upset about hurting him than I was about actually breaking the relationship off.
I sent the e-mail to myself and headed off to work. It took me about 10 minutes to get there and by the time I walked through the doors, one of my coworkers who had already made it in looked at me funny. “Someone called for you,” she said. “Twice. I think it was your boyfriend. He sounded pissed.”
My blood ran cold. Did I accidentally send HIM the e-mail? No, I couldn’t have possibly. There’s no way. I picked up the phone and dialed our home number. He answered and yes.. He was definitely pissed.
“You need to come home right now. Right. Now. If you aren’t here in an hour, I’m reporting my car stolen to the police. I don’t care if you get fired for leaving work, because it’s not going to matter anyway. Come home now.”
And he hung up. I began sobbing, because he knew. I didn’t know how he knew.. But he knew. I hurried to my manager’s office, my face red and my eyes puffy from crying. “Bob,” I said, “I have to leave. I’m sorry and I understand if there are consequences but I have a family thing and I have to go.” Bob – bless his heart – was one of those men who just has no idea what to do when a woman cries. He stuttered, sputtered, and simply said, “Let me know if you need anything,” before I practically ran out of the building.
I drove home feeling like there was a bag of lead in my gut. How, how, HOW did this happen? I wasn’t ready for this. I was planning on gearing myself up all day, sitting him down and having a mature and adult conversation with him. Not this. I didn’t want it to go down like this. When I got home, the air was thick with tension. I don’t remember exactly how the conversation started, but right then and there I told him everything. There were a lot of tears, a lot of angry feelings; a lot of feeling of finality. I told him that it was what I wanted, and needed and there was no going back this time. I had changed.. My heart had changed. I remember saying, “I know you tried your best, but your best just wasn’t good enough.”
And I felt like shit. It’s a horrible thing to say to someone, but it was true.
At one point, I asked him how he knew. What had happened. He told me that after I almost broke up with him the first time, he wanted to keep tabs on things so he had bought this software that basically watched the computer the entire time we were on it. He had been watching everything I’d done on the internet over the past three months, and that’s how he’d seen my e-mail. I felt so betrayed, so violated… And so confirmed in my feelings that this relationship was OVER.
After we had cried and talked, we took a nap together before he had to go to work. He got ready silently, and I hovered around feeling sick to my stomach. Before he walked out the door, he turned to look at me and said,
“I’m leaving now. I wouldn’t be upset if you weren’t here when I got home.”
And he left.
I burst out into tears. I was terrified. What was I going to do? Where was I going to go? My entire family was 700 miles away. I called the only person in the world who I could count on that was close enough at that point: Josh. I told him tearfully that it was done. That he wanted me out, and I didn’t know what to do or where to go. Josh told me to hang tight; that he was going to figure something out for me. He said to pack a few things, and that he’d call me back in a little while. I hung up the phone with him, and called my brother in Illinois. I told him everything that happened and he calmed me down a lot. He assured me that I could move back to Illinois and stay with him and his girlfriend. I could get back on my feet and get my own place. He told me I’d be okay. I was on the phone with my brother for about forty-five minutes when Josh beeped in, and I picked up the other line. He told me that his brother had said I could stay with him until I could find my own place. Josh said he’d be at my place to get me in half an hour and to be ready to go.
Crying, I packed some clothes, my tip money from work (I worked as a waitress), and some cosmetics and toiletries.
And I waited for Josh to come.