My Skin Is an Asshole

Yeah, so, apparently my skin never got the memo that I am TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD AND HAVEN’T BEEN A TEENAGER in, oh, SEVEN YEARS.

My skin was FINE all throughout my teenage years. I had the occasional pimple, sure. But I don’t even remember what sort of regimen I had. I DO remember that I used those stinky Noxema face pad things that stung a whole lot all the time. But I can’t ever really remember regularly washing it or using lotion (I wasn’t given a whole lot of guidance on how to be a girl, I didn’t learn how to properly apply eye makeup until I was 22)t.. Then I hit my twenties and my skin FLIPPED THE FRIG OUT.

I’m not joking, in the winter of 2006 when I was 22 going on 23, my skin just went batshit crazy. I didn’t really do anything differently that I can remember, but suddenly my face broke out in red, painful bumps EVERYWHERE. I mean EVERY DAMN WHERE. I cried a lot about it, I wore makeup to cover it.. I was so miserable. I tried everything. Salicylic Acid treatments, OTC acne meds, scrubs…. I finally caved in and started using ProActiv, and within a few weeks it cleared my skin up. Unfortunately, I’m allergic to benzoyl peroxide, which is the main ingredient in ProActiv so while it did clear up my face, it also made my neck break out in red, puffy, painful and itchy rashes.

Once I got that breakout under control it stopped the horrible breakout from Hell and I was able to start using normal products again. From time to time I’d break out a bit, but nothing like Zit Gate ’06. When I got pregnant with Nellie, my skin flared up in my first trimester. It was TERRIBLE. But with a little help of witch hazel toner and the 2nd trimester, it cleared up and my skin was actually better than it’s been in a long time for the duration of my pregnancy.

Well, I don’t know if it’s hormones, or if it’s time for Zit Gate to have a reunion festival on my frigging face, but I’m starting to break out like crazy again. You know where it’s the worst?

ON MY EYEBROWS.

WHO THE HELL BREAKS OUT ON THEIR EYEBROWS??? SERIOUSLY.

Oh, and I even have one on my EYELID right now.

ON MY EYELID. WHAT THE ACTUAL EFF.

I am not willing to use harsh chemicals like the benzoyl on my face again.. Sooo, in my desperation I bought a facial kit today at Target. The brand is called Yes to Tomatoes, and it’s all natural organic shit. Also, I just wanted it and I haven’t spent money on myself for something I WANTED in months.

So, my dear friends, PLEASE keep your fingers crossed for me that something gives and that these zits go away and that I can nip the problem in the bud before I am faced (ha ha) with a Zit Gate ’10. I’m tired of looking like a pimply teenager. My hair needs cutting, I have to lose weight (which is a post for another time entirely) and I generally feel pretty insecure about my appearance. It would be nice to not have to worry about pimples all over my face as well.