Ice Cream WTF

My husband is off work every other Friday-Sunday, which is pretty awesome. One Friday night when he was off, I got a craving for some ice cream. I’m not a huge ice cream fan (and in my 1st trimester during my pregnancy with Nellie, the smell of it made me want to vomit) so this was rare for me. But there it was; a big, fat ice cream craving. I had to have it. I wanted it so badly that if I didn’t get it, someone was going to get hurt.

So after dinner we headed to a local ice cream place called Bruster’s. Bruster’s is delicious and amazing, and home of one of the most gigantic brownie sundaes on the face of the planet. Seriously, it’s a massive mountain of ice cream and fudge. But I didn’t want a brownie sundae. What I wanted was very simple, and one of my favorite ice cream treats to have ever since I was a kid:

One scoop of vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles.

I am a rainbow sprinkle fiend. It makes no sense, because all rainbow sprinkles are, are little pellets of sugar and food coloring but I love the damn things like… Well, like a fat girl loves ice cream (I can say that, ‘cuz I’m fat, ya’ll). Rainbow sprinkles instantly make ice cream better. Maybe not all ice cream, because butter pecan would be disgusting and confusing with rainbow sprinkles. But plain ole’ vanilla? BRING ON THE SPRINKLES.

So we pull into the drive through and Josh asks me if I know what I want. I hesitate for just a moment, then nod that yes, I do. Now, he has this weird thing about ordering in a drive-thru for me. HE WON’T DO IT. He makes me lean over him and shout into the speaker what I want. So I lean a little and inform the nice man taking my order that I want “one scoop of vanilla, with rainbow sprinkles, in a cup” (‘cuz I don’t wanna be messy, see?). Simple order, yes? Josh orders a chocolate chip milkshake. The guy mumbles something back that sounds like “hurrfur durfur milkshake and blahblah hmpph hrrr babycone will that be all?”
…..Um, sure?
“Okay, that’ll be $3.somethingorother”

Well that seems cheap. Whatever, we pull through to the window and whip out the card. He takes it, walks away and comes back to hand it to us. I peer into the window, my mouth practically watering with anticipation, longing for the moment when those delicious, colorful sprinkles of delight will grace my taste buds with their presence.

A moment later, he returns yet again and hands Josh this:

Um. What?

I’m sorry, but what the effing hell is that? No, seriously. LOOK AT IT. Let’s just talk about this for a second.
I’m not quite sure if you can tell the size from the picture (we put Josh’s thumb in there at an attempt at scale reference) but that scoop of ice cream and the cone could have fit in the palm of my hand. Okay, so, apparently they thought a TINY, TINY WOODLAND CREATURE was ordering some ice cream, BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SATISFIED WITH THAT.

Now, let’s talk about the other thing that makes this particular sweet confection a big, fat, WTF Fest. THE FACE. Go ahead and look at the picture again. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE MR. BILL.

Oh nooo, Mr. Ice Cream!!

The ice cream seems to be pleading with me not to eat it. Begging for its’ pitiful little vanilla-flavored life. It’s begging me to show it mercy, for the sake of its’ weirdo wife and freako little rainbow sprinkle-covered children. I told it, “No, ice cream, you are not what I ordered and I am so angry I AM GOING TO EAT YOU IN ONE BITE” and the ice cream just looked at me like this

And I shoved the whole damn thing in my mouth making angry noises.

Why didn’t we ask for our money back, you ask? Or perhaps, what I actually ordered? Well, I was too busy reeling from the shock of the Weirdest Ice Cream Ever and my husband was laughing so hard he could barely see straight.

Needless to say, my ice cream craving was NOT satisfied that blistering summer evening and has YET to be fulfilled. I’m still trying to figure out how “one scoop of vanilla, with rainbow sprinkles, in a cup” translated into “a tiny, terrified ice cream man with googly eyes and a rainbow mohawk”. I think it’s one of those great mysteries of life that I’ll never fully understand.

Comments

  1. That is HILARIOUS! LOL That little gnome of an icecream cone would have me scared to take a bite also! I can only imagine what little kids concoct in their little heads about the little icrecream and his fear of being eaten. That’s liable to have some kids talking about it in therapy 20 years later. hehehe. What a riot!
    Joonluv630 recently posted..Weight Watchers has called me back home!

  2. I’m a little disturbed because he called it a BabyCone. Is it a cone for a baby, or is a cone that’s supposed to look like a baby? And if it’s the later, why is it a delicious ice cream treat? WTF is right.

  3. LMBO TOO funny! Love it! A definite WTF.
    Kimmygintx recently posted..Whats For Dinner- Mommy

  4. That is TOOOO funny! The WTF came outta me when I see the pics! LOL! Following you from Bloggy moms! Hope you can stop by and follow back! :)
    http://www.jatyourservice.blogspot.com

  5. Ok here's the thing. I hate to come in here and be all "I'm a huge germaphobe" because I'm not… BUT want to know what I thought right after I got over the OMG WTF IS THAT shock? HOW THE EFF DID THEY GET THOSE EYES, NOSE, AND MOUTH ON THERE?!?!?! Do you think the teenagers working at Brusters that night put on gloves before carefully placing those features? Cause I'm gonna guess no. And that's not the kind of thing you just dip into a bucket and be done with because everything looks just fine. Oh no my love, the fact that you were eating a face should have been the last concern on your mind based on what else you ate that evening.
    Beth recently posted..San Diego

  6. Oh my god.

    I don't know if I could have eaten it. That wall-eyed, screaming, ice cream head would have gone flying right out the car window.

    It sounds like they need to get their drive through ordering speakers checked.

  7. That is pretty much the funniest thing I've ever seen. The Mr. Bill comparison is spot on! I totally snorted when reading this post.
    Laura @ The Things I recently posted..Well- That Was Nice While it Lasted

  8. It takes a lot on a blog to make me laugh OUT LOUD and that's what I just did.

    My favorite is that you kept instructing your readers to LOOK AT IT over and over. Hahahahahaha! And the fact that they're known for a gigantic sundae and then gave you the creepy begging-for-it's life ice cream gnome is ridiculous.

    Oh, you make me laugh. Yay.
    Liza recently posted..A Coat Made of Stuffed Animals &amp A Burning House

  9. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I used to love rainbow sprinkles so much that I once made my dad eat tuna fish on crackers…WITH RAINBOW SPRINKLES on top.
    Liza recently posted..A Coat Made of Stuffed Animals &amp A Burning House

  10. Oh my GOSH!!! If I had gotten that for my son he would have been terrified! It looks like a little troll. Ew. Stopping in from SITS!
    Kerri recently posted..When

  11. I can't stop laughing!!! That is sooooo hilarious!

    I love vanilla with sprinkles. There was a creamery near my dorm in college and I would get that every friday. However, if they had ever handed me what you got…actually I'm not sure what I would have done because I would have been so confused by it :)
    Mrs. Mootz recently posted..Do I Wear Hats

  12. That is one scary ice cream treat.

  13. Okay, I was fine until the "I am gonna eat you!" angry bit and then I couldn't stop laughing.

  14. WOW! And I thought the “worms in dirt” dish was yucky and weird. lol
    Jyll recently posted..Wasted Time of SO Worth It!

  15. Oh no, please don't eat me! Ahhhh!
    Teresha@ Marlie and recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Just Being Picky

  16. hahahaha love this post. vanilla in a cone w/ rainbow sprinkles is my go-to, too.

    ps stopping by from sits! happy sits day : )
    cailen recently posted..my life as a mosaic what does yours look like

  17. That is too weird and hilarious. Poor terrified ice cream man!

    Happy SITS Day!
    Christine recently posted..With the Changing Colours

  18. Wait…that's what -I- would have made if you'd ordered that. Where does "vanilla with rainbow sprinkles in a cup" NOT mean the atrocity you received?

    😉
    ginger recently posted..Dream FAIL

  19. It goes, "AAAAH!" Have not stopped giggling, seriously.
    Sarah Neely recently posted..Quotables- For the Ladies

  20. Oh my gosh! That is soooo funny!

    Happy SITS Day…by the way!
    Connie Weiss recently posted..Don Draper Doesnt Change Diapers!

  21. Hilarious! Bill-hahaha

  22. So weird! You're so right ~ that ice cream abomination does look a lot like Mr. Bill. Creepy! I love the hilarious way you told this story, and your description of the mutant cone creature as, "a tiny, terrified ice cream man with googly eyes and a rainbow mohawk". LOL!

  23. That was so awesome!! I am so in love with this post! I was laughing from picture of what you go to end…then laughed again as I read it to Hubby!
    Mellisa recently posted..I Just Want One More Birthday This Year

  24. I love this post, haha. I am also absolutely addicted to rainbow sprinkles. They just make me so happy!
    Caity recently posted..To Grandmother’s House We Go Part 1

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