Dear Similac

You really screwed the pooch, didn’t you? Where were you on this one, dipshits? Glad I buy my kid Target formula so I don’t have to deal with your asshattery.

Love, Mommy Boots.

I think that all moms, breastfeeding and formula feeding alike can agree on one thing: Finding out that baby formula has little crawly bug parts in it is fucking gross. Can we stop jumping all over each others’ shit and just squeal together in disgust, and possibly coordinate one big simultaneous vomit? I bet there’s no world record for that.