Spider in the Shower

Let me tell you a little something about me when it comes to arachnids.

I die a little inside each and every time I see a spider. I don’t care if it’s a teeeeeensy little “no bigger than the head of a pin” spider. It’s a spider and is out for my blood and therefore, must be terminated on sight.

So the fact that I have a spider living in the corner of where I take my showers is slightly surprising.

Here is a picture of said spider (complete with handy dandy illustrations):

You may not be thinking that the spider is a huge deal. It’s not gigantic, and I’m fairly certain it’s not dangerous. I automatically assume that every spider I encounter & eliminate is a brown recluse but I’ve had a lot of time to look up at this spider as I shampoo my hair and pray it doesn’t fall on my face that I’m pretty sure it’s not a brown recluse.

But even though this spider isn’t very big, this is what it looks like in my head:

You can tell that it’s me by the red blobs boots.

So back to the reason that I let Shelob live in my shower. We live in an apartment complex, and when the weather is warmer there is an Ant Parade in our bathroom. I hate ants. They don’t cause any harm but they’re obnoxious. They bother me. So I figured hey, I have built in pest control living in the corner of my shower. Why spray harmful pesticides and chemicals when Mother Nature and her Minion from Hell can take care of the problem for me? Satan Shelob hasn’t really been an issue for me because she generally stays up there. Sometimes when I shower, I think she gets sprinkled with some water droplets because as I stare up at her to make sure she’s not preparing a sneak attack, she wiggles her legs like the water is hitting her. Or maybe she’s dancing. Or maybe she’s a pervert, and is really excited at the fact that I’m naked.

I digress. The other day I saw a teensy little roach in the bathroom (we’re not dirty people, we just live in an apartment complex. If you’ve ever lived in one, you know.) and glared up at Shelob. I informed her that she was laying down on the job and if she wasn’t careful, her new home would be Vacuum City. I swear to god she wiggled as if to say,
“Bring it, bitch.”

Happy Halloween, everybody!

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Comments

  1. Joel Gates says:

    Love the illustrations. I feel like a perv though – looking at a naked spider while she is showering. I wonder if she knows her pics are on the internet?

  2. Your spider looks massive to me…I wont be able to do it.
    Toni @ Carrigan&#039 recently posted..Kung Fu Madison

  3. Omg just the picture gave me the shivers. I would never be able to shower with that thing staring at me. You are way brave!!!! lol.
    Nicole recently posted..Mothers Milkmate – Review and Giveaway!

  4. Creepy!!! I would never be able to get in the shower with that thing!
    Kelly recently posted..A Halloween Treat – for Peanut!

  5. Oh God. That picture. I can't even look again. Ugh.
    Laura @ The Things I recently posted..Birthday Boy

  6. Did you know cinnamon keeps ants away. Sprinkle it where you think they are coming in and they will stay away

  7. I think it says a lot for your hatred of ants that you would opt for the giant spider over the ants.

  8. Hello!

    I'm coming by through your comment on Vocal Point.

    I'm just LOVING your tag line! That's too funny!

    I love this story. I would have never though to let the spider live to keep the ants out. I'm going to have to try that next spring b/c we get so many ants! I love the name too: she's officially a pet now!

    Feel free to come visit me anytime: <a&gt <a href="http://;http://thefrugalkennedys.blogspot.com/” target=”_blank”>;http://thefrugalkennedys.blogspot.com/
    Mommy Kennedy recently posted..Free Sample of Purina ONE® brand Dog or Cat Food

  9. Your picture made me laugh, I know what it's like when you get a spider in the shower. You just do what you need to do and get out of thier "super quick".

    Although I don't like killing them, I always think it will bring me bad luck if I do. I try to get them on a piece of loo roll and put them out the window (loo roll and all).
    Julie@Baby Shower Th recently posted..Coloring Pages For Girls – FREE Printable Coloring Pages Especially For Little Girls

  10. I don't know dude, that looks like a big ass spider to me.

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