Wiggle Room

One of the worst things about losing weight is the tracking. The constant documentation of what I’m putting in my mouth. I have found this to be the most effective way to drop pounds, as it makes me accountable. When I see at the end of the evening that I’m already at 1,500 calories and my goal range is 1,460 – 1,800 I know that I don’t need that beer. I don’t need to eat a small bowl of ice cream. And while technically, at 1,500 calories a small bowl of ice cream wouldn’t put me over my goal range, I like to stay at the low end of the spectrum.

I’ve been effectively and diligently tracking my calories for about 5 days now and each day, I’ve been on the low end of my goal range. I hate keeping track of my food. It’s a pain in the ass. But at the end of the day when I look at those numbers, I feel satisfied and proud of myself.

The other thing I hate about losing weight this time around is that since I’m not getting any exercise and am relying solely on eating healthier to help me jumpstart my weight loss, I feel little to no place for wiggle room in my diet. Three years ago when I dropped 20 pounds, I was tracking my diet and exercising 4-6 days a week. I allowed myself one cheat day per week to eat whatever I wanted without tracking or feeling bad. It helped keep me sane and gave me something to look forward to. However, without that exercise I feel like a cheat day would be counterproductive. I’m thinking of allowing myself one cheat day every two weeks, or maybe even just one cheat day a month.

It’s the pits, because I love food. I love to eat. I don’t like watching what goes in my mouth but I guess I’m paying the price of being so complacent & lazy during my pregnancy. I looked fantastic pregnant but now that the shiny hair, glowing skin and adorable belly have been gone for almost a year I just look squishy. I do feel a certain sense of pride when I see that calorie tracker within my goal range. It does remind me, however, just how far I have to go. I am hoping that I can find some time somewhere to start exercising. It doesn’t have to be strenuous, even a 30 minute walk a few times a week would be an improvement from what I’m getting now.

Blah. All of you women who dropped the baby weight once your child was born & don’t really have to work at having a flat stomach suck. I say it affectionately, but you suck. My stretch marks and cellulite hate you just a little. Working at being fit & at a healthy weight BLOWS, especially when you have such a passionate love affair for food like I do. And beer. I like beer but I can’t justify drinking ANY with all this excess weight on me. I have had the occasional glass of white wine while I’m cooking dinner, but a glass of white wine is only about 70 calories.

Okay, bitchfest over. To sum up: I’m fat, I hate it, but I also hate tracking my calories. P.S., it just started snowing. Unrelated.

The end.


  1. Well I was one of those sucky people who lost all the baby weight as soon as the youngin came out, but…I only gained 5lbs with the first and 9lbs with the second. It was after my mom passed that I gained weight, and then over the years I got "comfortable" in my marriage and I gained more. I'm not by any means over weight, but I am uncomfortable so I want to lose 15 – 20 lbs. But I'm struggling. I never thought to keep a journal of everything I eat, but since you gave me the bright idea I will start.

  2. Elghh, this is the part I dread about having a baby! I've got the cellulite and overall squishiness to begin with, so I'm pretty much doomed!

    My current quandary is how to diet while TTC… 😛
    Honey B. recently posted..Mr Automatic

  3. Hi, I'm new to this blog site and I'm just cruising through, randomly reading. I am so with you on the weight thing. I've just been trying to watch what I eat, and cut back… I have stopped drinking Dr. Pepper, which is a HUGE deal for me!! But some friends and I from work have also committed to a Zumba class once or twice a week, supposed to do some walking a couple other nights…. So far so good… but it's hard. I love food too!

    I'm going to try and find wherever it is that I click to mark you, and I'll be back around!
    Mae recently posted..The Beginning of the End

  4. I suck horribly at counting calories. I just dont get how you calculate them all when your're cooking, say dinner. How the hell am I to know how many calories are in the homemade soup I made? And how do you judge a serving on that?? I seriously have no idea.

    Good luck to you on unravelling all the mysteries, but then again, I think maybe I'm the only one who's not getting it.
    Toni @ Carrigan&#039 recently posted..I Collect

  5. oh man, I can totally relate to what you are going through! No time to workout and deflated baby belly that won't budge. Who has time to count calories or points or whatever. I just got an app on my ipad…maybe that will help…
    mamabear recently posted..Ta-daaa!

  6. Totally understand you. Totally. I have been tracking my food since Jan 1 and yup it sux, its sux ass. it sux ass BIG TIME! I also give myself one treat a week, my trainer says it keeps you on track, the funny thing is each time i have a treat i go overboard and end up feeling so guilty and sick its stupid…. So what do you do?

    All i know is there should be a group titled – yes we ate too much when we were pregnant, but no no we wont have that piece of pie now! I am woman, i am mother, i am saying no! HEAR ME ROAR!

    Just so you know, makes me feel better knowing that i am not the only one who struggles so much…
    Chasing A Miracle recently posted..Another day in my memory

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