An Open Letter to the Idiots at PETA

Dear PETA:

FUCK. YOU.

Let me explain.

We all know that your intentions are good. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Woot! I like animals. They’re fluffy and cute, and deserve to be treated nicely and ethically. However, PETA, you have the tendency to completely fuck up your message and give yourself a really bad name over and over again.

This week is no exception. You have secured your standing as Douchebag of the Week Month Award (and with Charlie Sheen running around, this is no easy feat) with your ‘Win a Vasectomy From PETA!’ campaign:

“Every year in the U.S., an estimated 6 to 8 million lost, abandoned, or unwanted dogs and cats enter animal shelters. The best way to combat the companion-animal overpopulation crisis is to have your cat or dog neutered. And with a global population of almost 7 billion humans, more of our species could use a (voluntary) snip too.

Now, one lucky man can be reproduction-free, free of charge, just like his pooch or feline friend. In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24 to 30), PETA will give one free vasectomy to a man who has recently had his companion cat or dog neutered. Don’t worry boys—you’ll still be able to enjoy sex. But your neutered dog will be less likely to face the health and behavioral problems that unneutered dogs experience.”

I’m sorry. What the actual fuck?

Oh. Ha ha. I get it. Humans are overpopulating the Earth, so like animals, a few of our guys could use a little snip-snip to help there be less little critters running around. Funny. Edgy. I would normally agree with you, PETA, and your little sociological statement. I would even laugh at the tongue-in-cheek nature and how you’re poking fun at us breeders and our excessive sexing and procreating. Except for one little fact. You are saying that you are honoring National Infertility Awareness Week with a free vasectomy. And that? Is not okay. You are mocking those who suffer from real, actual infertility. I never reached the point where I was Infertile but I wasn’t far off, and I hung around the Internets with a lot of ladies who WERE Infertile.. And I felt their pain. Their agony. The heartache of month after month of disappointment.

PETA? That’s not a fucking joking matter. You’re mocking people and their pain by breezily offering a free vasectomy in “honor” of National Infertility Awareness Week. Having a vasectomy is not the same thing as being Infertile and to even imply that it is is a big slap in the face to couples who are living with Infertility. Infertility is not a fucking choice. It’s not a procedure that you walk into a clinic and sign papers to have done. Infertility is something that people DON’T WANT TO HAVE and spend thousands of dollars trying to combat, just so they can have a child of their own. You can joke all you want about population control but to these people living with Infertility every day, it’s not a goddamned joke.

You can’t take back what you’ve said, PETA, but you can take the stupid, ignorant message down. I know that thinking before you speak is not one of your strong qualities and isn’t something you’re well known for, but maybe just once you can pretend that you’re not a complete and total failure at life and end the campaign/contest/whatever the fuck you’re calling it, hmm?

Sin-fucking-cerely,

P.S. If you’re actually interested in reading something relevant and helpful to National Infertility Awareness Week, please go here. Infertility is not even a little bit funny, light-hearted, or a joking matter. Odds are, someone you know and love has suffered from Infertility and has felt its pain. Educate yourself, and help break the silence.