Mommy’s Log, Stardate : 04 23 2011.
5:51 A.M. : High pitched squealing from baby’s room indicates that toddler is awake. Agree to wake with said toddler so spouse can remain asleep.
5:53 A.M. : Offer pacifier back to toddler. Hand her stuffed companion. Hold her while rocking in an attempt to coerce her back to sleep.
5:55 A.M. : Attempt failed. Put toddler in high chair and offer her milk and bananas.
6:00 A.M. : Retrieve rejected bananas from floor. Turn on cartoons for toddler.
6:10 A.M. : Toddler seems to be experimenting with how loud a decibel and how high a frequency her voice can go. This is… Disturbing.
6:20 A.M. : Read toddler book.
6:22 A.M. : Repeat reading of book.
6:24 A.M. : Repeat reading of book.
6:25 A.M. : Hide book underneath couch cushion.
6:45 A.M. : Need to use the bathroom hits. Bring toddler into bathroom to monitor. Set out bowl for her to play with. Pull down pants and sit on toilet.
6:45 A.M. : Realize there is no toilet paper. Hastily pull up pants and hurry to 2nd bathroom to find toilet paper.
6:46 A.M. : Return to first bathroom to find toddler’s hands inside toilet. Notice that toilet has urine inside of it from a previous bathroom trip.
6:47 A.M. : Retrieve toothbrush from toilet. Finish washing off toddler’s hands. Throw toothbrush away. This is what we call a “Mom Fail”.
6:48 – 6:55 A.M. : Watch as toddler systematically destroys contents of bathroom. Entertain the possibility that she is actually a badger.
6:56 A.M.: Wash hands, clean up toddler destruction and free her from the bathroom.
7:00 A.M. : High pitched screeching resumes. Consider buying earplugs.
Find previous Mommy’s Log here.