Loss

Wednesday is going to be a hard day. Josh and I are attending the visitation for three young people who were killed in a car accident over this past weekend. One of the girls who died was Josh’s second cousin Emily. It was a senseless and tragic accident, and one that’s shaken up pretty much everyone in the family. Even those like me, who didn’t really know her at all.

I’ve only been around Emily two, maybe three times. I last saw her at Josh’s Nana’s funeral a month ago. She was only twenty-one years old.

I find myself obsessing over this accident. This is going to be the first visitation or funeral that I’ve been to where the deceased wasn’t an older person.. Where the death was unexpected as this is. I know that this isn’t about me.. Not even a little bit, but when situations like this happen so close to home you can’t help but wonder and worry. I just keep thinking about Emily’s mother and father. No parent should have to lose a child. I’ve been feeling clingy toward Nellie since the news broke to us on Saturday; almost to a panicky point sometimes. I was driving home the other day from work and was overcome with an urgent need to see her. To hold her. To breathe her in. I couldn’t get to her quickly enough.

These unexpected and senseless deaths have shaken me to my core. I guess it’s just because this is the first time I’ve had to deal with something so horrible and tragic so close to home and it’s really made me realize that we can lose those that we love dearly in the blink of an eye. Nothing is promised to us in the way of life and receiving another day is not something that is guaranteed. My heart is breaking for everyone in the family who knew her well.. For her sister, for her friends, for her mother and father. The worst part of it is that the other two people who were killed were her husband, and her cousin.

The thought of losing a child is beyond comprehension. I can’t think about it too much, or I will go insane.

Wednesday’s going to be hard. For everyone. Please keep my husband’s (our) family in your thoughts and prayers. Please hug the ones you love extra tight. Please tell someone that you love them, because tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.