I’ve come to realize that there are a few different ways people view the internet nowadays. For some, it’s scary and almost a thing of myth. For others it’s confusing and frustrating. There are folks who know it exist, use it to check their “Facepages” and “Tweeters” but only about once a week. And then there are people like me, who pretty much breathe Internet.
Sometimes, my Internet world and the world of those oblivious to all of the wonders the web holds collide. Tonight was one of those nights.
We were walking downtown and veered into an ice cream shop. As we were waiting in line, I noticed a skinny teenage girl looking at me with her head tilted slightly. I blinked at her and she laughed.
“I was trying to read your t-shirt.”
“Oh,” I said with a chuckle.
“….What does it say?” she prompted.
Way to go, slick. Social skills. I has them.
Now, the t-shirt in question is a gray shirt with the words “HONEY BADGER DON’T CARE” on it, and a picture of a fierce-ass honey badger. I love it and wear it at least once a week, because I’m fucking awesome.
“Oh…” I began. “It says, ‘honey badger don’t care.'”
She stared at me.
“What does that mean?”
“Oh! It’s this really funny video… Thing… On.. the…….. Internet….. It’s.. Um.. Funny.. On YouTube.”
She was like: *blank stare*
“Oh…” she trailed off, looking confused.
I realized then that unlike myself, some people do not enjoy spending their free time on blogs, Facebook, and YouTube looking up Auto-Tuned newscasts or hilariously narrated videos about vicious wild animals. Some people go outside, play frisbee, hike, and do other things that don’t involve honey badgers and parody commercials. I felt really awkward and dorky for a second, and then I started thinking about how funny honey badger was and decided I didn’t care what the teenage ice cream girl thought of me.
Honey badger and I have two things in common. We’re both mean and like to eat bees, and we both don’t give a shit. Okay so that was three things. Shut up. Here, go watch this brilliant auto-tune video of a crazy lady talking about a robbery.
P.S. If you’ve never seen honey badger, check it out here. It’s not safe for work, or little ears. But it is funny as shit.