Five Things.

I sat down to my computer last night with grand plans of drafting the shit out of some blog posts. I settled into my couch, laptop ready, fingers poised. I stared at the screen and typed out some bullshit about clean eating and disciplining my kid. I saved the documents, and thought.. What the fuck is this? This isn’t me. I mean yes, I have things to say about clean eating and discipline but… This is boring.

I realized that this blogging drought has left me wondering where my voice is. I also realized that I had nothing interesting to say. Nada. Zilch. I decided to get some help, so I turned to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. I’ve seen the buttons, but have never participated. I chose the topic “Five Things”. So here we go.

workshop-button-1

Five Things You Don’t Know About Me (Unless You Know Me Really Well and Then You Probably Do Know These Things)

1. My first kiss didn’t happen until I was 16. It was at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry. It was with a 25 year old (go ahead and fetch your smelling salts. I’ll wait).
2. I have only kissed two people in my entire life.
3. I have also only slept with two people in my entire life.
4. When I was 9 years old, I wanted a tattoo of a velociraptor on my shoulder. Unrelated; 9 year olds shouldn’t get tattoos.
5. When I was a little girl after the movie Aladdin came out, I insisted that my family address me as “Jasmine” for weeks.

Five Things I Am Knowledgeable About

1. Movies. Quotes, trivia, actors, actresses. Movies are my thing.
2. Spelling. I can spell like a mofo. And mofos spell really well, in case you weren’t aware.
3. Sarcasm.
4. Llamas.
5. I lied about llamas. I don’t know anything about llamas. I’m sorry I lied.

Five Things I Know Nothing About

1. Ironing. I have never ironed anything in my life and I would probably burn my apartment down if I tried.
2. Fashion. It’s not so much that I don’t know, it’s just that I don’t really care.
3. Where the interstate signs on the side of the highways are made. I don’t know where they come from but I bet they’re hard to make.
4. Jupiter. I mean, I know it’s a planet but that’s about the extent of my knowledge.
5. Sewing.

Five Things I Believe

1. I believe in equality for everyone. No exceptions.
2. I believe that love is love. It doesn’t matter if you are a man loving a man, a woman loving a man, a woman loving a woman. Love is love, period.
3. I believe that there is a higher power. I do not call it God, nor am I a Christian.
4. I believe what goes around comes around.
5. I believe in the supernatural.

So there you have it. My first Writer’s Workshop. Huzzah! That was fun, and actually more challenging than I thought it’d be. I hope you enjoyed it, and hopefully I will be writing more often.

Okay, bye bye.