Five Things.

I sat down to my computer last night with grand plans of drafting the shit out of some blog posts. I settled into my couch, laptop ready, fingers poised. I stared at the screen and typed out some bullshit about clean eating and disciplining my kid. I saved the documents, and thought.. What the fuck is this? This isn’t me. I mean yes, I have things to say about clean eating and discipline but… This is boring.

I realized that this blogging drought has left me wondering where my voice is. I also realized that I had nothing interesting to say. Nada. Zilch. I decided to get some help, so I turned to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. I’ve seen the buttons, but have never participated. I chose the topic “Five Things”. So here we go.


Five Things You Don’t Know About Me (Unless You Know Me Really Well and Then You Probably Do Know These Things)

1. My first kiss didn’t happen until I was 16. It was at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry. It was with a 25 year old (go ahead and fetch your smelling salts. I’ll wait).
2. I have only kissed two people in my entire life.
3. I have also only slept with two people in my entire life.
4. When I was 9 years old, I wanted a tattoo of a velociraptor on my shoulder. Unrelated; 9 year olds shouldn’t get tattoos.
5. When I was a little girl after the movie Aladdin came out, I insisted that my family address me as “Jasmine” for weeks.

Five Things I Am Knowledgeable About

1. Movies. Quotes, trivia, actors, actresses. Movies are my thing.
2. Spelling. I can spell like a mofo. And mofos spell really well, in case you weren’t aware.
3. Sarcasm.
4. Llamas.
5. I lied about llamas. I don’t know anything about llamas. I’m sorry I lied.

Five Things I Know Nothing About

1. Ironing. I have never ironed anything in my life and I would probably burn my apartment down if I tried.
2. Fashion. It’s not so much that I don’t know, it’s just that I don’t really care.
3. Where the interstate signs on the side of the highways are made. I don’t know where they come from but I bet they’re hard to make.
4. Jupiter. I mean, I know it’s a planet but that’s about the extent of my knowledge.
5. Sewing.

Five Things I Believe

1. I believe in equality for everyone. No exceptions.
2. I believe that love is love. It doesn’t matter if you are a man loving a man, a woman loving a man, a woman loving a woman. Love is love, period.
3. I believe that there is a higher power. I do not call it God, nor am I a Christian.
4. I believe what goes around comes around.
5. I believe in the supernatural.

So there you have it. My first Writer’s Workshop. Huzzah! That was fun, and actually more challenging than I thought it’d be. I hope you enjoyed it, and hopefully I will be writing more often.

Okay, bye bye.