Shit I Never Thought I’d Say: Part Eighty Five.

I’ve posted about hearing myself utter things I never in a million years though I would hear myself utter before. Now that Nellie is walking, talking, and almost two, I thought I’d post a revised edition of Shit I Thought I’d Never Say. Enjoy.

  • Get that sucker out of your hair.
  • No, we don’t need a Hormel meal, bubbles, a rubber duck, and a Spider-Man hat on this shopping trip. Let’s put them back.
  • Old MacDonald Had A Farm again? Really? Wouldn’t you rather sing something else? No? Awesome.
  • Okay, don’t drink that bathwater, it has bubbles in it.
  • Yeah, the bathwater is yucky. That’s because there’s bubbles in it.
  • Do NOT put that Christmas ornament in your mouth. Sharp! Stabby! OUCH!
  • I know you love the cat but please don’t try and lick him on the face.
  • Don’t draw on the table.
  • Don’t draw on the floor.
  • Kitty doesn’t want you to draw on him.
  • That’s not a boo-boo, that’s your nipple.
  • Oh, you can say ‘nipple’ now. Awesome.
  • Yes, mommy also has nipples.
  • So does daddy.
  • Please don’t try and look at mommy’s nipples while we’re in line at Wal-Mart.
  • Get your hand out of my shirt, you still can’t see mommy’s nipples.
  • Don’t you DARE bite that balloon!
  • *reading a book* What’s that? That’s a sheep. …Still a sheep. ……..Still a sheep. ………….Always going to be a sheep. ………….Hasn’t stopped being a sheep.
  • Ugh. Please don’t put your feet in the popcorn.

What funny things are your kids saying?


  1. Funny things the kids say? This weekend we saw Pia Toscano on tv. Lance asked who it was and I said “that’s Pia Toscano.” The Punkin pipes up with “Who’s Penis Carlo?”

  2. I definitely had to tell Ben “Don’t lick the cat” the other day.

  3. “Ok who taught N-Zilla how to say, ‘i not stupid’ “.

  4. Michelle S says:

    “Laughing” ….. I have a 20 month old and find myself saying most of these things also on a regular basis. Along with

  5. Here are the two I found myself saying today:

    “No.. that is not a snake. It is your penis.” and “Please stop eating the dog biscuits. They are not yummy; they are for the puppy.”

  6. Ha ha!!! I really enjoyed this post.. Showed it to my wife too.. she loved it! she says its great that you shared it here, she would like to add few more to the list!!!

    Its great to read a great & realistic post like this before starting your day :)!

  7. Once again to relieve any doubt that our kids are going to be nerds as they grow up…

    Just this morning I told Little Buddy, “Take the D10 out of your mouth.”

  8. Um, do we have the same kid? Because pretty much everything you said here sounds familiar!

  9. Ok I can’t really relate, but I do say a lot of bizarro things to the dog- Brewer, don’t eat your tail – Brewer, don’t lick the TV – Brewer, don’t eat the cat. lol

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