I’m the Best Wife Ever

The Mama Kat Writer’s Workshop prompt that I chose is “list 10 things you’d like to get for your husband or dad for Father’s Day”.

Mama’s Losin’ It

At first I was like “well that’s a weird thing to write about. How the hell do I know what he’d like?” and then I was like “OK you’re his wife, you’ve been together for 8 years, you should know this”. And then I was like “hey remember that time you thought it’d be an awesome idea to get him a shaving cream warmer for a gift and he hated it? Yeah.”

I decided it can’t get much worse than a shaving cream warmer that makes your shaving cream 104 degrees and smell like feet, so I thought I’d give it a whirl. Here’s my list of Ten Gift Ideas for my Husband on Father’s Day.

1. A robot dog
2. A jet pack
3. A subscription to “women who are dressed up like female superheroes bringing him sandwiches” of the month club. Wait – does that exist? *scribbles down business idea* MILLIONAIRE.
4. A man-date with Will Smith, Ving Rhames, Christopher Meloni and Anthony Hopkins.
5. A giant cookie cake in the shape of the Millenium Falcon
6. A large ape or bear to battle
7. Nickleback to come to our house and play a personal concert just for him (this one is OBVIOUSLY a joke. Not only is it completely not feasible to get Nickleback to my house, but I wouldn’t subject my worst enemy to Nickleback. That’s just inhumane)
8. A complete viewing of the movie Alexander – uninterrupted by my rolling my eyes and snarky comments (I might have to be completely drunk for this)
9. A dragon
10. Four hundred and two sugar gliders

Looking back over this list, I can give myself a big ole’ nod of satisfaction. Clearly I am the best wife ever and deserve a trophy and all of the chocolate and vodka forever. Happy Father’s Day, honey!

Comments

  1. Change that Millenium Falcon cookie to Optimus Prime and I’m pretty sure we’re married to the same man! I’m buying my husband rims for his car. Like the good kind. That sparkle and produce gold nuggets or something on every revolution. I’m pretty sure I am going to be the best wife ever after this.

  2. Can I marry you? I want a jet pack!

  3. Bridget Green says:

    LOL I don't know a dad who wouldn't want all of that, although my husband would substitute U2 for Nickelback :) Here from Mama Kat's.

    • That list is seriously lacking. First, a burger and a beer with any of the Devils, followed by a Dome Hockey (or air hockey) tournament. Second, a Bill Watterson signed and framed watercolor Calvin and Hobbes portrait. Third, a handle of Whiskey, because his last bottle is finished. Fourth, a nap. Fifth, don't wake him up. Sixth, keep the kids away, too. Seven through 10, hell, get a sitter, let's go to Atlantic City.

    • Bridget Green says:

      Lol I just saw this finally.

  4. Ha! Love the one about the viewing of Alexander. I may have to do that for Lost in Translation – he’d surely count that as a gift, since he loves it and I HATE it.
    B recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Tie Dye Fun!

  5. So funny! Love it! You give all of us wives a run for our money!

    Nicki G. The Blissful Wife.
    http://www.blissfulvida.com

  6. A robot dog AND a man date with Will Smith!?!

    Can I marry you??
    Kat recently posted..Writer’s Workshop: Head In The Sand

  7. Your husband must be very proud of you, he should put helmet on you in case you might knock your head and wake up.
    Steve D. Smith recently posted..Why HGH Avanced is Rated #1

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