Last night as I was waiting on clothes to be dry, I was on the computer browsing around. Your daddy was snoozing soundly in bed behind me, and you were rolling and moving. I glanced at the picture we have of you on the desktop before my windows loaded, and couldn’t help but smile. I looked down at my round belly and saw it moving. I watched you shift, roll, and move and wondered what you were up to. I found myself wondering what you were thinking, what you were doing… We saw you about a week ago in amazing clarity and as I sat quietly gazing down at my stomach I found myself in awe at the fact that you are still such a mystery to me. At any given moment, you could be smiling or yawning; sticking your tongue out like you did during our ultrasound or sleeping soundly. Do you play with your umbilical cord? Do you dream of me? Because I dream of you. I know that you have a sweet little nose (from your daddy) and a dimple in your chin, like me. I feel like I have somewhat of a better insight into your personality from watching you in 3d…. But you’re still such a mystery to me, little girl. What will your hair look like? Will it be dark and curly, like mine? Or will you inherit your daddy’s lighter hair? Are you going to have his beautiful blue eyes or my brown ones? Will you like music? Or movies? What sort of things will you enjoy doing?

You’ve been with me for the better part of half a year, and yet we’ve never met face to face. My heart is filled with so much love for a tiny little person who I only know by their movements, kicks, and brief glances over a digital screen. Who knew such love could exist? And you know what the crazy thing is, baby girl? I know that I haven’t felt anything yet. Not by a longshot. Because meeting you, holding you and watching you sleep is going to be a whole ‘nother experience. Watching you grow and raising you into an amazing young woman is going to be such a wonderful journey. I looked at myself in the mirror for a long time last night, running my hands over the curve of my belly and feeling you move in return. I wonder if these memories will be so vivid twenty years from now when you are grown. Time flies by so quickly.. How will I ever get enough of you?

You’re my little mystery. Soon you will be in my arms and I will be able to get to know you better. But for now, I will be content seeing you make my stomach move and dream about you.

Right now, as I type, you have the hiccups. You get them almost every single day. Some mommies think it’s annoying, but I absolutely love it.

I love you so much, Nellie Rose.