That Time You’re Recognized From a Facebook Photo

So my weekend was pretty interesting. I got invited to a party weeks ago and was really excited about it. The host posted photos of the decorations he was putting up all month long and my anticipation and excitement grew as the date came closer. I debated what I should be. Katniss? A crazy cat lady? A zombie Mitt Romney? Nothing seemed right until one day, I was struck with inspiration for a costume that was truly perfect and screamed NATALIE. And also something else, but I’ll get to that.

The party was great. Perfect amount of people, great food, PLENTY of drinks (and when I say plenty I mean enough to get Texas drunk), and the host went all-out. I mean it. He decorated every single room in his house. It was amazing! I had a wonderful time, met some fun people, had too many Jell-O shots, played with a Ouija board and acted like I knew what the hell I was doing, ended up piling in a car with two Oompa-Loompas (one was sober), a zombie cat lady, and Honey Boo Boo and we drove off to the (very haunted, if you believe in that sort of thing) Chickamauga Battlefield at 1 A.M. like a car full of 16 year olds with nothing better to do.

All in all, it was an extremely fun night.

On Monday, I walked into Nellie’s day care only to be stopped by one of her teachers:

Her: Hey! I meant to ask you – how do you know Justin?
Me: *frozen* Uhhhh… Justin *lastname*?
Her: Yeah!
Me: You…. saw the tagged Halloween party pictures on Facebook, didn’t you.
Her: Yeah, I did! We went to high school together, and I was looking through the party pictures and saw you and thought you looked familiar, but it was hard to tell with your costume. Then I saw your name and was like OMG that’s Nellie’s mom!
Me: *mentally running through the tagged photos I saw and wondering if I was caught taking Jell-O shots* Ha.. haa… Yeah! It was.. a fun time…

Miraculously, the party paparazzi didn’t snap a single photo of me imbibing. It did, however, catch me in all my costumed glory:

I’m not sure if this is more or less embarrassing than a photo of me double-fisting Jell-O shots and eating pigs-in-a-blanket while hunched over a Oujia board. While I’m not embarrassed of my costume (because it’s fucking AMAZING), I learned from the party that trying to explain ERMAHGERD to someone who hasn’t heard of it is the most awkward thing ever. Luckily the girl did not ask about my costume and let me go on my awkward way.

OH, FACEBOOK. YOU AND YOUR TAGGING MADNESS. You crazy ass social bastard.

Spider in the Shower

Let me tell you a little something about me when it comes to arachnids.

I die a little inside each and every time I see a spider. I don’t care if it’s a teeeeeensy little “no bigger than the head of a pin” spider. It’s a spider and is out for my blood and therefore, must be terminated on sight.

So the fact that I have a spider living in the corner of where I take my showers is slightly surprising.

Here is a picture of said spider (complete with handy dandy illustrations):

You may not be thinking that the spider is a huge deal. It’s not gigantic, and I’m fairly certain it’s not dangerous. I automatically assume that every spider I encounter & eliminate is a brown recluse but I’ve had a lot of time to look up at this spider as I shampoo my hair and pray it doesn’t fall on my face that I’m pretty sure it’s not a brown recluse.

But even though this spider isn’t very big, this is what it looks like in my head:

You can tell that it’s me by the red blobs boots.

So back to the reason that I let Shelob live in my shower. We live in an apartment complex, and when the weather is warmer there is an Ant Parade in our bathroom. I hate ants. They don’t cause any harm but they’re obnoxious. They bother me. So I figured hey, I have built in pest control living in the corner of my shower. Why spray harmful pesticides and chemicals when Mother Nature and her Minion from Hell can take care of the problem for me? Satan Shelob hasn’t really been an issue for me because she generally stays up there. Sometimes when I shower, I think she gets sprinkled with some water droplets because as I stare up at her to make sure she’s not preparing a sneak attack, she wiggles her legs like the water is hitting her. Or maybe she’s dancing. Or maybe she’s a pervert, and is really excited at the fact that I’m naked.

I digress. The other day I saw a teensy little roach in the bathroom (we’re not dirty people, we just live in an apartment complex. If you’ve ever lived in one, you know.) and glared up at Shelob. I informed her that she was laying down on the job and if she wasn’t careful, her new home would be Vacuum City. I swear to god she wiggled as if to say,
“Bring it, bitch.”

Happy Halloween, everybody!

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Cover Girl

Last Thursday, the woman who photographed our wedding, Nancy Hellsten, came down to do a photoshoot with one Miss Nellie Rose. We debated on where to do the shoot, bouncing between a corn maze, a hotel that wanted to charge us $25 to shoot photos there, and my mother in law’s dining room. Nancy found a place in Cleveland, Tennessee and suggested it since we were going for a Halloween theme but was worried it might be too macabre for us. I assured her that no, it wasn’t too macabre and we set out on a beautiful Thursday morning to capture my daughter on film……

In front of a mausoleum with a bloody history.

Nancy put a few photos up on her blog yesterday, and I was taken aback at how amazing they turned out. See for yourself.

The Last Halloween

I am coming to the realization as each holiday passes that it is my last – ever, in my entire life – where it will be just me and my husband. When I mention that to my husband, he smiles and pats my stomach and says it’s already the three of us. True, but I think you get my drift. This time next Halloween, Nellie will be nine months old. She will be nine months! How insane is that?! We will pick out a costume for her, probably take her to get pictures.. She will be sitting up, probably starting to eat solid foods – she could even be walking. It’s true, I have a friend whose baby started walking before she was a year old.
I was laying on the couch last night watching Supernatural (which is made of AWESOME, by the way if you haven’t seen it yet) and feeling Nellie kick when I realized how strange it’s going to be to sit, or lay and not get kicked from the inside. I’ve grown so accustomed to the little bumps, jerks and earthquakes from within my belly it’s hard to picture what my life was like before them. I’ve been feeling her move every single day for about 5 weeks now and she will continue to do so for (hopefully) at least 10 more weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely cannot wait to meet my little girl but it’s going to take some getting used to not having her in my belly.
Pregnancy is something that has just come very naturally to me. Perhaps I’ve just been blessed with an easy pregnancy, but I’ve never felt better than right now, at 7 months pregnant. When I walk down the street and catch a glimpse of my shadow, I smile at the round silhouette lying on the street. If I am passing a mirror and happen to see my reflection, I stop and admire it for a moment with a smile on my face; my hands tracing the curve of my belly. I find myself resting my hands on my stomach all the time – in line at the grocery store, walking down the hall, even just sitting at my desk.. My hands are on my belly.
We’ll be attending a Halloween party – in November. Crazy, I know. But my brother-in-law is the one who hosts it every year, and his October is booked solid as he co-produces and co-directs the Ruby Falls Haunted Cavern each season. He has since 2006. We’ll be having the Halloween party the 2nd weekend in November. I always get funny looks when I tell people I’m going to a Halloween party in November, but whatever. I’ve got a pretty fun costume planned for this year; you’ll just have to wait to see pictures. Until then, you can tide yourself over with my favorite costume that I’ve ever had. From our 2007 Halloween party, I give you…

Lois the Crazy Cat Lady.

Happy Halloween, everybody!!!!!