Christmas Flash Mob

This? Coolest. Thing. Ever. This gave me goosebumps. Just once in my lifetime, I would like to be a witness to a flashmob.

Jody & Angie

I was reading my new friend mommy in the midwest‘s blog about a couple that she knew – Jody and Angie – who are looking to embark on an open adoption journey to complete their family. I visited their website and was moved to share it with my readers in the hopes of getting their story out and help them along in their hopes to become parents. Something about this couple just stuck out to me – their love for each other just radiates through their pictures and words.  I think that any child would be lucky to have these two as parents. Please visit their website, read their story, and pass the message along if it moves you like it did me!

Jody & Angie

Happy Friday everybody!

I Got Tagged!!!!

I got tagged by Kimberly

Copy and paste these questions, replacing my answers with yours, then tag 5 people to do the same thing.

THREE NAMES I GO BY

1. Natalie
2. Nat
3. Um…. Honey?

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE

1. Bookstore clerk
2. Waitress
3. Billing specialist

PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Lansing, IL
2. Bloomington, IL
3. Chattanooga, TN

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH

1. Firefly
2. Family Guy
3. Supernatural

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN

1. Prince Edward Island, Canada
2. Orlando, FL
3. Newfoundland, Canada

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO

1. Italy
2. Ireland
3. Greece

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS

1. Spaghetti
2. Mexican
3. Chinese

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO

1. Getting pregnant
2. Having a baby
3. Getting a house

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED

1. Oedipus – Cat
2. Mungo – Cat
3. Ada – Cat

THREE FAVORITE BANDS/ ARTISTS

1. Beatles
2. Coldplay
3. Nickel Creek

THREE FAVORITE TEAMS TO WATCH

I don’t watch sports

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS

1. Cherry Coke Zero
2. Coffee
3. Beer

I don’t think I have five followers, sooo.. If you read this, and would like to do it, then be my guest! :)

CD Cover Meme

On occasion, I will post a blog here that has nothing to do with TTC. This is one of those blogs. This is a fun, unique meme!

1 – Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 – Go to “Random quotations”or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 – Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days

Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 – Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

Here’s Mine:

Sad

I have a coworker who just got married at the end of November. 2 weeks later, she found out she was accidentally pregnant. She and her husband had been trying Natural Family Planning to prevent pregnancy, and it didn’t quite work out.

Needless to say, I was pretty unhappy, upset, and jealous. I’ve been outwardly positive and accomodating to her of course, because this is a very happy time for her and regardless of my jealousy she doesn’t need that negative energy surrounding her.

Well, she came in to work this morning and told me she thinks she might be having a miscarriage. She began bleeding heavily this weekend, went to the ER, and they diagnosed her with a “threatened miscarriage”. She said she bleeding has slowed down since then and she has not passed any tissue. I’m not 100% sure she is having a miscarriage, but she’s going to the doctor today to be sure.

I feel horrible now for being so jealous. I never ever want this for anyone, regardless of how unfair I think it may be, or how jealous I may feel. *sighs* I just hope and pray that everything’s OK with her and her little one. She’s about 13 weeks now, I think.

Heartbreaking

There is a woman named Amy who used to post to TTCAM. She is currently pregnant, and due very soon. Sometimes I lurk at PAL (pregnant after a loss) to see graduates’ updates and to dream about the moment that I finally get to post there. Well, I saw a post about Amy regarding her family; apparently she woke up to find her husband wasn’t breathing. He passed away.

When I read this, I was absolutely horrified. I don’t know what exactly happened to him. All I know is that she has 2 other children and one on the way, and now her husband is gone. When I read this, I ran out to Josh and told him about it, and hugged him so tight. I just cannot even fathom what I would do if I were to lose him.

I just read an update from Amy herself at PAL, and I’m on the verge of tears right now. I cannot even begin to think about how horrible this situation is for her. My heart is breaking for her, and the thought of the pain she’s going through now is almost unbearable.

I understand that death is a natural part of life and that everyone has to go sometime, but why do situations like this one have to exist? Why does she have to be left without a husband with 3 children? Why did she have to lose him? It’s just not fair.

Honest Scraps

Here’s to my buddy Kim for tagging me!

The rules:1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with “Honest Scrap.” Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.
I don’t think I have 7 readers, so I’ll just tag the ones I know read. 😉

3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

************************************

1) I have a scar on my left cheek. This came from getting it impaled on a tree branch when I was 6.

2) I’m relatively obsessed with a LiveJournal community called onnotheydidnt. It’s a celebrity/pop culture gossip blog. I read it so much, that “internet slang” has crept into my real-life vocabulary. It’s not abnormal to hear me utter the phrases, “Made of awesome”, “Nom nom nom”, or “FOR THE WIN”. Things of that nature.

3) I sing in a women’s barbershop chorus.

4) When I’m eating potato chips, I lick each side first. Whichever side is saltier is the side I put on my tongue.

5) I wish I could get paid and make a living writing. But I just don’t really believe I’m good enough for that.

6) I have always had at least one cat. There has never, ever been a time in my life when I didn’t have a cat.

7) I hate all cars that are yellow or orange.

8) Playing Guitar Hero relaxes me.

9) I like to drink beer.

10) When I was little, I gave all my My Little Pony dolls mohawks.

TAG: Sara, Marie, Nicole

Not really pregnancy related, just a lady rant

Is there anything more miserable than the first heavy day of your period? I mean, seriously, girls. It’s just miserable!

I’m bloated, I feel all squishy and gross down there, I’m crampy, my jeans are tight. Let’s not even talk about how disgusting it is to go to the bathroom. Seriously, every time I go to pee I’m like, THIS IS SO GROSS.

Menstrual periods are nature’s big, fat, joke. Seriously. Let’s think of the most unpleasant, disgusting, uncomfortable thing that could possibly ever happen, and make it a monthly, necessary function in order to bear children. Yipee! I think the ONLY thing that would make it worse, is if instead of bleeding from your you-know-where, you bled from your MOUTH.

Hahaha, now I actually kind of have a funny visual in my head. Women wouldn’t need to explain their moodiness, cravings for chocolate, and crying fits to anyone as “that time of the month”, because people would know by the fact that the woman would be walking around with either a pad covering her mouth or a stack of tampons shoved inside it.

HA HA HA. OK now I can’t stop laughing at the image in my head of women walking around the street with tampons shoved in their mouths. I can just see it now. A husband comes home to see his wife, with her back turned from him, sobbing on the couch. Alarmed, he moves to her and says, “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” As she turns around, he sees the tampons and grows solemn. “Ohhhh.” he says knowingly, and pats her on the back.
*snickers*

One week to go

Until the moment of truth. I either get my BFP, or I don’t. Right now, I’m feeling kind of dully crampy, as usual. I’ve been feeling dully crampy since yesterday, so I don’t know if this means anything or not. My breasts, specifically right under my nipples have been sore since last week, and a bit heavier. They look a little veiny; but I notice it most when I’m not wearing a bra. They feel heavier on my chest. I was exhausted yesterday despite getting plenty of sleep the night before. I’ve been feeling a bit queasy in the mornings, and afternoons after eating.

All of this, I’ve come to find, can be signs of AF since my miscarriage. I truly am starting to think that when I finally do become pregnant, I won’t know it as my pre-AF symptoms have mimiced pregnancy symptoms so well in the past few months.

I’m trying to just chill out, and let whatever is meant to happen, happen. Sometimes it’s easier said than done.

I’m currently completely and utterly engrossed in a book called The Time Traveler’s Wife. I borrowed it from my friend (and former workout buddy) Michelle. She has told me about this book several times, as it is one of her favorites. I think it may BE her favorite, but she reads a lot so I’m not 100% sure.
Anyhow, this book is amazing. However, it does have few chapters that if you have experienced the loss of a child; miscarriage, stillborn, etc. that may bother you quite a bit. Just FYI, because I know a few of my readers have had losses.

So anyway, I’m not feeling overly optimistic about this month, nor pessimistic. I’m just kind of here, waiting. I guess that’s all I can do. :)

Um, thanks, I guess?

They say that imitation is the highest form of flattery, don’t they? But what about blatent plageurism?

Well, I’ve been killing time on MySpace waiting for DH to get home. I decided to visit the page of one of my friends from TTCAM. I hadn’t been to her page in a while, so I went.

I noticed a blog of hers titled “To My Angel Baby”. I began to read it, and as I did, the words started to sound awfully familiar to me. And then it hit me: I wrote this! I wrote it originally on May 22nd, in a post on the iVillage TTCAM message board. I read this girl’s blog, and it is, literally, word for word the exact same post that I made. Given, she added a few of her details in, but it’s my post!

Now, at first, I was absolutely and totally floored. I was upset, angry, apalled. How could someone rip off MY feelings, MY words, and not even credit me for them?

Then I got to thinking. It’s not like I wrote a book, it was a post to a miscarriage support board. Her pain is the same pain I’ve felt, that we all have felt at that board. And I thought, well, if she can’t find the words herself, then I guess it’s OK for her to borrow mine.

I guess it was just the intial shock of seeing MY words on someone else’s blog, and not even getting a mention of credit toward being the author of those words.
I’m having severely mixed feelings about this.

First, this is MY post, originally made May 22nd:

Sometimes, baby, it’s still so hard. I didn’t even get to know you, I didn’t even get to feel you move, and I miss you so, so much. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the right to feel as sad as I do.. There are so many women out there who have had such worse experiences than I have. 2nd term miscarriage, stillbirth.. With tragedies like that, I just feel wrong sometimes about being so sad about losing you at 7 weeks.

But it hurts. I loved you from the moment I knew you were there. No, I loved you before that. I wanted you so much. Why did you have to leave? You were so loved, so anticipated, so wanted.. I feel so empty sometimes. I just want you back. I want you healthy, kicking inside of me.. I want people to smile at me when they see me and ask me when I’m due. I want to be buying you clothes, diapers, and getting ready for your arrival. But instead, I’m sitting here with an empty womb, and a broken heart.. Still, even after 5 months. 5 months to the day, actually. I miss you so much.

Seeing pregnant bellies makes my heart hurt. It still makes me feel bitter, sad; resentful. It makes me feel this sense of longing that I thought was behind me when I found out I was pregnant. When I was pregnant with you, that feeling of envy that I used to have when I looked at pregnant women turned into a feeling of pride, of a sudden comraderie with those pregnant women, even if I wasn’t showing yet. But now I’ve regressed; I’m back at square one, I’m back to being jealous. And I hate it. I hate it so much.

Why did this have to happen to me? Why does this have to happen to anyone? My only hope is that the short time you were with me, you could somehow feel my love, little one. I never got to hold you in my arms, but I held you in my heart.

I love you, baby.

And here is her (slightly) modified post:

Sometimes, baby, it’s still so hard. I didn’t even get to know you, I didn’t even get to feel you move, and I miss you so, so much. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the right to feel as sad as I do.. There are so many women out there who have had even worse experiences than I have. 2nd term miscarriage, stillbirth.. With tragedies like that, I just feel wrong sometimes about being so sad about losing you at 6 and a half weeks.

But it hurts. I loved you from the moment I knew you were there. No, I loved you before that. I wanted you so much. Why did you have to leave? You were so loved, so anticipated, so wanted.. I feel so empty sometimes. I just want you back. I want you healthy, kicking inside of me.. I want people to smile at me when they see me and ask me when I’m due. I want to be buying you clothes, diapers, and getting ready for your arrival. But instead, I’m sitting here with an empty womb, and a broken heart.. Four weeks ago today, I watched with joy your heart beating on a screen. Three weeks ago today, we buried your memory box under the small crabapple tree in the yard of our new home. I miss you so much.

Seeing pregnant bellies makes my heart hurt. It still makes me feel bitter, sad; resentful. It makes me feel this sense of longing that I thought was behind me when I found out I was pregnant. When I was pregnant with you, that feeling of envy that I used to have when I looked at pregnant women turned into a feeling of pride, of a sudden comraderie with those pregnant women, even if I wasn’t showing yet. But now I’ve regressed; I’m back at square one, I’m back to being jealous. And I hate it. I hate it so much.

Why did this have to happen to me? Why did this have to happen to our family? Why does this have to happen to anyone? Your brothers hug the angel statue by the tree every day, and send a hug to heaven. I hope you feel it. My only hope is that the short time you were with me, you could somehow feel my love, little one. I never got to hold you in my arms, but I held you in my heart.

I love you, baby.

I don’t know, would you be upset if you were in my shoes? I’m just not sure how to feel about this.