Greetings, readers! I’ve recovered from my long weekend, and am back to my beloved blog. I will probably post my weekly baby update/belly picture tomorrow after my doctor’s appointment. I completely missed last week. Whoops. Bad blogger! In the meantime, enjoy my latest post.. All about getting my big fat ass out of bed.
I try to be a good little pregnant lady and intake plenty of water. To aid me in my quest, I employ the help of a pink refillable Eddie Bauer water bottle, because I care about the earth and shit.
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Lois the Crazy Cat Lady.
Happy Halloween, everybody!!!!!
I can no longer see my crotch.
It’s true. I don’t remember what inspired me even thinking to look, but after much glancing, twisting and turning and other various methods of contortion that are usually best left to small acrobatic circus performers, I confirmed that I can no longer see my crotch. It’s gone. Vanished. Out of my sight.
I tried to pull my belly out of the way, except the thing is – my belly won’t, like, move anymore. It just… Is there. All the time. I tried bending over. That just made my vagina disappear further from my view. I lifted my leg and propped it up on the toilet, almost toppling over like a Weeble in the process. I peeked, peered, and gazed. My husband caught me doing this; looking like I was attempting some strange and potentially dangerous new Yoga pose and asked me what the hell I was doing. I gave him a look like, “duh” and told him I was trying to see my crotch, to which he responded by howling in laughter and walking away.
The only way I can see my ladybits anymore is to look with a mirror. Even that is difficult, but look with a mirror I did – if only to reassure myself that my vagina is, in fact, still there and fully in tact. I ended up getting a glimpse of it. Yep, there’s my vagina. Still there, still looking the same as it ever did (albeit slightly more… Um… Puffy? WTF, PREGNANCY?). Pregnancy is such a curious thing. Never in a million years did I think that something as simple as being able to see my own vagina would be something that was impossible without being an Olympic gymnast. Something that I’ve seen every single day of my life is now gone; hidden by the growing mound that is my stomach.
I think that the book Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy had mentioned something about her vagina getting blue and engorged, and when I read it in my first trimester I laughed heartily and thought to myself that was a bunch of bullshit. Apparently it is NOT bullshit, and vaginas do in fact get engorged during gestation. Though mine isn’t blue. It’s still a normal color.
Now that you know entirely too much about my crotch region, carry on and have a very pleasant Tuesday. And never take the fact that you can see your vagina for granted.
This weekend has been a very lazy one, which I’m not complaining about. Hubby and I were laying on the couch just lounging, and I got up and went to the bedroom to retrieve a pillow and our blanket. We snuggled back up and I asked him, “Is it sad that my favorite part of the weekend is laying on the couch with a pillow and a blanket and just relaxing?” he said no.
We hit the grocery store today, made some tuna salad for lunch and took a nap. We have been filling the hours with cuddling together on the couch and watching Queer as Folk, which we have been renting through Netflix. Ah, glorious Netflix. I was snuggled up next to him and looked around at our slightly cluttered, but not dirty, apartment and smiled. I felt my little girl squirm a little bit and my smile got bigger. In that moment, that very second, my life was perfect. I have my husband, I have a comfortable place to live. We have a car that gets us where we need to go and isn’t a piece of junk and I have a job that pays. I have health insurance for my family, and a tiny little baby girl on the way.
As hubby was checking his mail, I decided to pick up a little bit. I did some dishes so I’d have a clean space to make dinner (spaghetti) and picked up the bathroom. I was wiping down the counter and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I smiled at the reflection, and turned to the side. I realized that I’ve never felt more comfortable with my body; never felt more beautiful. My skin has cleared up for the most part (still have some random pimples occasionally) which made me happy. Yes, I am overweight but my belly is swelling and curving in a way that I’ve anticipated for so long. I ran my hands over my tummy and couldn’t help but smile. I know a lot of women have a problem with their body changing during pregnancy, but not me. I know that my hips will widen and I will put on weight in places I never thought possible. I will probably get stretch marks on my stomach, and my ankles will swell. But all of this is temporary; my body will never be the same, I know, it will just be different.
I carry my new, blossoming belly with pride and not shame or self consciousness. My body is doing something amazing, and I feel honored to be growing a human being. A little girl. … My little girl, who has the potential do to and be anything she wants. I know that I will love her unconditionally, no matter what she chooses to do or who she becomes. I honestly and truly cannot wait for motherhood, and all of the ups and downs that come with it. I can’t wait for the scraped knees and tears, for the toys flushed down the toilet and the sheepish, hushed mutterings of, “uh oh” that every person knows means disaster. Even the sleepless nights, tantrums and trials I embrace. Our lives are about to change so dramatically and I cannot wait.