Weight Loss, 2013, Resolutions

This weekend, and the first anniversary of mom’s death, have come and gone. Friday night was difficult, but I had a lot of love and support pouring in from friends and family but that made it easier to deal.

2012 is ending, and 2013 is beginning – JUST IN CASE YOU LIVE UNDER A ROCK. I’m not a huge believer in resolutions, because I have made several over the course of the years and have not really kept any. I feel sometimes that making resolutions just sets a person up to fail, especially if those resolutions are things like “LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT” or “RUN FIVE MILES TWICE A DAY” or “MEMORIZE THE HUNGER GAMES AND RECITE IT IN ITALIAN WHILE LEARNING TO PLAY THE FIDDLE”.

I mentioned in a past post that my last doctor appointment showed that I weigh the same as I did when I had Nellie almost 3 years ago. Seeing that number on the scale triggered something inside me, and since then I’ve used MyFitnessPal to track my daily calories and exercise. With the exception of a bit of calorie-overage during the holiday weekend (and really, it wasn’t MUCH calorie overage), I have been consistently under my daily calorie allowance for almost two weeks. This is the best I have done so far in my efforts to lose my baby weight. It seems that my resolve is stronger this time than it ever has. I have also been seeking support and encouragement from the website/app LifeKraze. The community there is full of really positive people who love to give virtual high-fives and support.

I am trying to take it slowly with a goal of being 20 pounds lighter by my brother’s wedding June 1st. This goal is completely attainable; in the past, I have lost 20 pounds in just under two months’ time. I am being realistic about the rate at which I can lose weight now – I do not have the free time nor energy to lose at the rate I used to. So 20 pounds in 5 months is my first goal. My ultimate goal is to reach the weight that is pretty healthy for me: 160 pounds.

I have a long road ahead. Losing 50 pounds is more weight than I’ve ever needed to lose before. I’m determined to do it, though. I think this time my resolve is set.

The first month of 2013 will bring exciting things. I turn 29 (WHAT THE EFF? How did my 20s go by so quickly?) on January 9th, my daughter turns 3 (again with the WTF) on January 20th. My brother and his fiancee are coming for a visit. I’m looking forward to what 2013 has to offer. 2012 went by in the blink of an eye; I know that sounds like a cliche, but that is exactly how it feels. It was January, I closed my eyes, and when I opened them my daughter was opening Christmas presents.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year celebration. I will be spending it with a quiet evening at home with my family. Here’s to a happy and healthy 2013.

Human Sharks and Twittercorn.

So remember how this time last year I was all “HEY! FITNESS FOREVER. LET’S LOSE THE BABY WEIGHT. I’M GONNA BE HOT AND FIT FOR BLOGHER.”

And then I worked out like, once. And almost died. And then I ate some hot wings and drank a six-pack of beer and was like “Mmmm, Blue Moon forever.”

I’m not going to BlogHer this year, unfortunately. I had plans to go but they fell through and now I’m going to be spending the weekend avoiding all you BlogHer-goers on Twitter like the plague because I’m still a little bitter. I did, however, bring up the fact that those of us who are not going should have our own super awesome Twitter party and I even named it #TwitterCorn. So if you’re eating those sour grapes like I am, join us all weekend for #TwitterCorn. Come whenever. Pants are optional.

Um, anyway, back to being fat. I got to looking at pictures of myself the other night from three years ago when I was working out like, 6 days a week. Seriously. 6 days a frigging week and do you know why? Because I didn’t have a kid and I actually had free time and energy to do things in that free time. Now when I have free time, I sometimes suggest we take a walk. Downtown. To get some ice cream. Because that makes sense.

But I was looking at my smiling, skinny face and wishing I could go back in time and punch myself in it, because I thought I was still fat. If I could go back and say one thing to past-Natalie, it would be “Bitch, you think those thighs are jiggly now? Wait until you’ve carried a human being for nine months while sitting on your ass eating anything that came within biting range. THEN WE’LL TALK ABOUT FAT. Pregnant Natalie is kind of like a Great White shark. She will eat anything and everything. When you give birth to your daughter, they might also find a license plate.”

Okay so the license plate thing never happened but I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had. I was kind of like a vacuum. I don’t think I chewed or tasted my food while I was pregnant. I just sort of opened my mouth and things gravitated toward it. Come to think of it, I’m still kind of like a Great White shark. I still eat like that.

This post really is about making changes to the way I live my life, and the food I put in my mouth. I’m so busy, and I’m so tired at the end of the day I just want to quiet the snarling hunger-hole that is my stomach with whatever is nearby, which usually is some form of chicken nugget or pizza bite. The other night for dinner, I had some rotisserie chicken (no skin) and a leafy green salad with light dressing, carrots, and raw snap pea pods. I was like, “FUCK YEAH HEALTH! LIGHT FOOD! LEAFY GREENS! ANTIOXIDANTS!” and then around 9 P.M. my stomach was like “BITCH WHERE’S THE CAKE?” and I was like “No, stomach. No. You’re big enough.” and it was all, “DON’T SASS ME” and I cried and played some Lady GaGa really loudly which drowned out the sound of it screaming obscenities at me.

I used to know how to eat right, but I also used to have a lot more spare time to fix myself healthy things. I just have to find the balance, to adapt the healthy eating habits I know that I possess to my new, busy lifestyle.

It may be Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, but it’s time that this Great White Shark be put out of its misery. Fare thee well, hot wings and pizza. …………Maybe not like, total fare thee well. I mean, I could still have *a* hot wing, right?

Right?