Well…

I’m feeling less and less optimistic, I guess. My boobs are still sore and a bit puffy, and I had a really, really bad few hours of queasiness/nausea today. I’ve been hot a lot, and really tired.

But all day today on and off, I’ve been having those dull, achey cramps. The same ones that I felt around 10-11DPO last month, and I definitely was not pregnant last month. The more these cramps stick around, the less hope I feel.

My CM is also kind of lotiony, and there’s been more of it than usual today. I don’t know if that’s a “good” sign, or not. I think creamy CM is supposed to be a sign of AF.

So I’ve gone from convinced that I’m pregnant, to not so convinced, to pretty much expecting AF to show up in a few days. I know that my temps are still high, but I have been temping vaginally this month so they are bound to be consistently higher. I know they are STILL high, but last month my last high temp was 11DPO, and then they fell from there. I’m 11DPO tomorrow. So we’ll see what we see.

*sighs* Tuesday couldn’t get here fast enough.

Ehhhh…

Of course, now I’m doubting myself. I’m wondering, are my boobs really all that puffy?

Sure, I’m hungry, tired, and hot, but so what? I get tired before AF anyway. I hate this waiting game. I swear I’m feeling very, very mildly and dully crampy, like I did last month about 5 days before my period. *sighs* I hate waiting. I wish I knew, for sure, one way or the other.

:)

My nipples hurt, a lot. And the areolas are puffier. Josh noticed them this morning. This makes me very, very happy.

I’ve still been having some poking sensations, but none so much as Monday. They’re just random now, and I am truly hoping that this is a great sign. I just have that “feeling”. A really good feeling. Like I said, I’m going to feel like such an idiot if my period shows up Monday or Tuesday, but I just.. I feel like this is it.



1WW

1WW and IPS:

  • Tired. Feels like someone took a syringe and drained the energy from my body.
  • My skin broke out long before AF was due.
  • Breasts are somewhat puffy around the aereolas, a little heavy; nipples are sore.
  • Twinges/sharp poking sensation in lower abdomen yesterday.
  • Woke up at 2 AM to pee. When I woke up at 5, I had to go so bad I almost could scream.
  • Weird dreams.

These things could mean nothing, and they could mean EVERYTHING.

Testing is now one week away.

Must.. Resist… Temptation…

Well, Wednesday has come and gone and still no AF. When I started feeling crampy on Monday, I was convinced she’d be here by then.

Since Monday, I’ve experienced a few twinges and a little dull aching, but nothing like it was Monday. I don’t know whether to be optimistic about this or not. My temps took a little bit of a dive today, which I’m not too happy about. But I also know that I sleep with my mouth open, and that can make temping less accurate. My temps are still in the low 98/high 97 range, so I guess that’s still relatively promising. If I don’t get pregnant this month, I’m going to start temping vaginally.
As for IPS, my boobs are very, very sore. They’re not puffy and swollen like they were with my first pregnancy, which is discouraging. I realize that every pregnancy is different, but that was my first sign that something was off, and I guess I’ve been looking to my boobs for the first sign that I’m pregnant.
I’ve been a little queasy today, and kind of scatterbrained. I’m trying really hard to resist the temptation to run to Walgreens on my lunch break and get a pregnancy test. I really want to test. Like, really, really badly. But I’m not considering AF late until Saturday has come and gone. I had all intentions on testing Saturday morning, but now I don’t know. I just don’t know. I really, really want to test today.
Maybe I’ll compromise, buy a test tonight, and test tomorrow morning. I think that’s what I’ll do. By then, I’ll either be 13 or 15 DPO, depending on when I ovulated and surely an HPT would pick it up if I was pregnant.

HULK SMASH

Um, wow. I’m in a baaaaad mood today.

I wish I could say it’s a promising IPS, but I’m not so sure anymore. I’ve been having some OK ones; sore bbs, a little moody, bouts of queasiness, and a general “off” feeling. My temps are still hovering high, my CP is medium, medium texture, and it’s closed.
However, I’ve been feeling very dully crampy today. All day. It stopped briefly around lunchtime, but it’s been around all day. It’s just a very dull ache. I’m kind of hoping it’s implantation/pregnancy cramps, but I didn’t think that implantation cramps hung around for more than a few minutes. I fully expect to see AF in her full, horrible glory by Wednesday. *sighs*
I was feeling really good about this month, too. I’m in just a horrible mood today; everything is going wrong, everything is irritating the holy living snot out of me. I mean, every time someone opens their mouth to say something all I can hear in my head is “SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSTOPTALKINGNOW.”

Oh, to be a girl. Isn’t it FABULOUS?!
So, countdown to AF is on. I am expecting her anywhere between Wednesday and Sunday. If she doesn’t come by Saturday, I’m taking an HPT. But with this crampy feeling, I think she’ll be here sooner. I just don’t know.
If we don’t get pregnant this time around, I’m breaking out the big guns. I’m buying PreSeed, OPKs, and maybe even Instead Cups. I know that I may seem crazy, but I want to be pregnant. I’m sick and tired of seeing pregnant women and being angry, jealous, and sad. I’m tired of wandering through the aisles at stores, gazing wistfully at the baby clothes and wondering when it’s going to be my turn.
It was so easy the first time around, too. I estimated when I was set to ovulate, we had sex every other day, and bam. I was pregnant. Of course, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage, but the getting pregnant part was awfully easy.
I know I shouldn’t complain. This is just cycle #3. I haven’t had it as bad as some others.
But in the words of Inigo Montoya…
“I hate waiting.”

Finally! An Update!

It’s been a very long while since I updated this blog. What’s been going on..

Let’s see. I started my weight loss endeavor in February. It’s now June, and I’ve lost 20 pounds. I started out at 170 lbs, and I’m now at 150. I’m pretty proud of that. My goal was to be 140 by June 30th, which I don’t think will happen… But what is most important is that I feel great. I go to the gym frequently, I’ve been eating better (well. Trying to. I have been slacking BIG TIME the past month and a half or so with the food)…. And with that, in May, Josh and I decided that it was time to start trying again.

Our first cycle was a bust; We got one BD session in, and I got a sinus infection/strep throat combination that lasted an entire week. I was miserable; I didn’t go in to work at all that whole week.

We’re on cycle two now. I don’t have any earthly idea when I ovulated, but AF is due a week from tomorrow, so I suppose I’m in the 1WW. This 1WW is decidedly more mellow than the cycle where we got our BFP. I’m not analyzing every little thing my body does, I’m trying to be more skeptical so I don’t get let down if AF shows.

I’m going to try and test Saturday, June 28th because my company is having an outing at Six Flags. If I get a BFP, I won’t ride anything… I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll ride anything even if I get a BFN.. I’m really torn about the whole thing. I’d hate to ride the coasters, find out I’m pregnant, and then have a miscarriage. I’ve talked to a lot of people who say that early in pregnancy it wouldn’t hurt the baby to ride roller coasters, but I’m still kind of wary of it.

Anyway, that’s what’s been going on. There have been other things here and there, but nothing huge or major. I’m biding my time online until 12:00… Coldplay is playing in Atlanta in November, and I’m buying tickets today! I’m so excited, my friend Michelle and I are going to be going together.

I’ll update this more often, I promise!