Sneaking Into the 2WW

I’m fairly confident that I have ovulated. I got a + OPK on Wednesday, and theoretically you are supposed to ovulate between 24-36 hours after getting a +. DH and I have BD’ed our little butts off for the past week and a half. I think I’m going to try and get one more session out of him tonight for safety’s sake.

I’m trying really, really hard not to be obsessive over all of this. Those of you who read my blog that are TTC, or have dealt with the TTC madness will know that once you turn that fertility awareness on in your brain, it is nearly impossible to turn it off. I can say, “we’re being relaxed about this” until I am blue in the face but the bottom line is this: I know my body now, I know my cycle. I know my fertility signs, I know when my period is supposed to be due, and I can’t just “unknow” those things. The things that I have been successful in toning down on are the fact that I no longer check my CP every few hours (I’m fairly certain I gave myself a UTI a few months ago doing that), I don’t temp, and I haven’t completely changed my behavior and lifestyle just because we are TTC. I drink one cup of caffeinated coffee in the mornings, which I wasn’t doing a few months ago. Sometimes I will sip on a soda, but I usually don’t finish one. If I am not in the 2WW and feel like having a beer, I will have a beer. Sometimes, I will have a beer even if I am in the 2ww but I don’t usually have more than one.

There are plenty of women out there who get pregnant when they are drinking, intaking caffeine, etc. The first time I got pregnant I didn’t stop drinking coffee until after I found out I was pregnant. I know that having a cup of coffee a day for the week before I knew I was pregnant didn’t cause me to lose my baby. Nothing could have prevented me from losing my baby, that little one was just not ready for this world yet.

While I was getting ready for work this morning standing at the bathroom sink brushing my teeth (topless), DH came in, put his hand on my shoulder and leaned down to kiss my belly. I smiled, and looked at him and said “What was that for?” and he looked at me and said, “You know what that was for.” He wants a baby just as badly as I do. I think that we are both feeling hopeful this month, like maybe it’s finally going to be our turn. One of the good things about being on our 8th cycle of trying is that I feel like the odds are slightly more in our favor with each passing month. We are obviously able to get pregnant; we did it the last time on our first try. I geniunely believe that the main issue that we’ve come across in conceiving again is that my ovulation has been irregular, and we simply have not had enough sex. We have definitely remedied THAT this cycle, because we’ve been BDing a lot. And it’s actually been really nice; I have noticed that the more we do it, the more I want to do it whether we “need” to or not. It’s almost like we were 5 years ago when we first got together.

A few weeks ago, DH asked me if I would mind changing our first born boy name. We had decided on Levi Alexander for our first boy but he requested it to be changed to Julius (Jude) Arlen. The second name is a family name, and he stated that he wanted to use it just in case we only end up with one boy. I agreed, though I was a little disappointed. I prefer the name Levi Alexander over the other, but it’ll be OK. Hopefully we will have two boys and will be able to use them both.

Today is Friday, and I’m very happy about that! I suppose I’m going to wrap this up and try and feign some semblance of productivity. I have the bad habit of being very, very lazy on Fridays.

On the verge of the 1WW

I’m finding myself pretty mellow. I’m not over-analyzing every little thing that my body does. I’m not mashing on my boobs every five minutes to see if they’re sore. To be honest, I think last month kind of broke me of even TRYING to interpret IPS, because I had a lot of them last month, and a lot of them were really promising. But AF showed up, and crashed my party. So I’m not looking for IPS anymore. I don’t want to get my hopes up like that again.

I’m just waiting for next week to roll around, for time to tell whether we got lucky this month or not.

So there you have it. I will not, I REPEAT, I will NOT POAS until Tuesday, September 23rd. My period should be here Friday the 19th, or Saturday the 20th. But I will not be POAS until that Tuesday.

Cervical confusion

The cervix is the most confusing thing on the face of the planet. It really is.

So when you’re not fertile, it’s supposed to be low, firm, and closed. When you are fertile; high, soft, and open.

Also, your cervical mucous is supposed to be like egg-whites when you are close to O time. Creamy, or sticky indicates that you may be fertile, but that EW is what you’re looking for.

So, let’s take a look see at my cycle thus far.

Since my miscarriage, I have been having 31 day cycles, with an ovulation day of around 17. Cycle day (CD) 6-9, I had egg-white cervical mucous (EWCM). This is not typical for me. I started taking Mucinex this cycle in hopes to thin my cervical mucous (CM) out a bit. Well, it ran out of me like water. It was EWCM a-plenty! I figured that it was just because I was taking the Mucinex.

I began using my ovulator predictor kit (OPK) test strips on CD 10, and after all that EWCM, my CM was just creamy or sticky. My cervical position (CP) was decent; mostly medium height, medium texture, medium opening. Much to my surprise, on CD13, I got a positive OPK. This generally means that your body has detected an LH surge (the hormone that is present during ovulation), and that you will ovulate within the next 24-48 hours. I also had a complete dry-up of my CM. There was nothing to be accounted for whatsoever.

I continued to use my OPKs, just to be on the safe side. All negative; one right after the other. So, I assume that I ovulated sometime over the weekend. Great, grand, wonderful.

CD15-16, my CP is LFC. All of a sudden today, CD18, my CP is HSC, with an ABUNDANCE of creamy CM. What!?

This is by far, the most confusing cycle I’ve had trying to conceive. I am completely confused as to my body’s fertility signs. They seem to be all jumbled up, and I’m just left scratching my head, going, “What?” and hoping that we timed everything right this month. I’m starting to think that maybe local colleges should start offering “trying to conceive” courses. Screw chemistry, astronomy or physics, trying to interpret my body’s fertility signs is like a science in and of itself. If I manage to get pregnant from this crazy-ass cycle, I should receive a Nobel Prize.. Seriously.

So I’m considering myself in the 2WW now. I’m going to try and not over-analyze anything that my body may do, because last month I honestly thought I was having some really good pregnancy symptoms. It just goes to show you, though, my body is a confusing liar. So here I wait, trying to remain calm and sane, and patient.

With my fingers crossed, of course.

Cycle confusion

So, I’m not temping this month. I decided not to, because my waking times are too sporadic and I don’t think using a BBT adjuster is reliable.

Anywhoo. Tuesday-Thursday of last week, I had PLENTIFUL CM. And it was very much EW, some creamy. I mean, there was a lot. I wrote that off to the Mucinex.

So Thursday, we BD. Josh didn’t finish, because his back was hurting. No worries. Friday, I was as DRY AS A BONE down there. My CP was still pretty good, but I had NO CM to speak of. Not even using the Mucinex! WTF? So I’m thinking maybe I O’ed RIDICULOUSLY early, and we already missed it.

Nope. I got a + OPK Friday. STILL no CM to speak of. So, DH and I BD’ed Friday. Saturday, still no CM. We didn’t get the chance to BD, but we did first thing Sunday morning. My CM is all dry now, and my CP is LFC. I was expecting to ovulate TOMORROW, not Friday or Saturday! WTH?

My body’s weird. It’d be nice if we got pregnant this cycle. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is this month. That’d be a lovely, wonderful anniversary gift. If we don’t get pregnant, I will be disappointed of course, but we will try, try again. I’m just confused with my CM not corresponding with my + OPK. Whatever…

Oh, and this is sort of funny. I think I hurt myself BDing. DH had me in this weird position, and I woke up yesterday with this horrible pain in my lower back/butt. It’s just on the right hand side, but I honestly think I pulled something while BDing!!! Whoops.

:/

You know, it’s really hard not to get discouraged during the 2WW.

I’m only 5DPO, but I’m already feeling “out”. My temps are fine, and really it’s too early even for implantation (7-10DPO on average) but I’m just discouraged from my lack of IPS.

It seems like with my first pregnancy, my boobs got full, heavy, swollen and sore almost IMMEDIATELY after ovulation. I’m talking like, 3-4 DPO. Of course, I could have been wrong on my guesstimate of when I O’ed, but still. It seems like I had IPS almost right off the bat.

This time, nothing. I KNOW I’m only 5DPO, but I’m already feeling so, so discouraged.

Sigh.

2WW…

I think. I think I ovulated on Thursday. I’m not 100% sure of this, but I think that I did. My signs were all good; CP, CM, and temps were all on par with what I’ve read they should be.

I experienced a temp rise Wednesday, then a crash Thursday. Since Thursday, my temps have been climbing. I don’t know if this is a good sign, if this is a sign of pregnancy, or if it’s inconclusive, or what. I guess all I can do is wait.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

I’m trying not to over-analyze my body and the things that it’s experiencing. I had some brief queasiness today which I’m trying to write off to being bloated and gassy. I’m tired, and I’m just writing that off to not getting good enough sleep. My skin is broken out, I’m writing that off to being a week and a half away from AF.

Let’s keep our fingers crossed, shall we?