Almost There

Just a few more days ’till AF is due. As usual, I’m feeling sort of indifferent. I feel bloated, and that constant, dull achy/cramp feeling is still with me. I have been (TMI alert) constipated for the past few days, which sucks and is uncomfortable.

My boobs are swollen and my nipple/areola area feels like it’s on FIRE. Last night I almost took my shirt off because it hurt to have it on. I’m not putting a whole lot of stock in this because this is usually a sign of AF.

The copious creamy CM that I’d had for a few days last week is no longer. If I check my cervix, the discharge that I get is still creamy but it’s no longer coming out on its own and making its’ way to my underwear.

So all I can do is wait. Isn’t waiting fabulous?

Blech!

I feel rotten today. I’m feeling very queasy in the stomach. I’m not getting my hopes up about this symptom because my husband is at home right now because he was puking all night. More than likely it’s the beginnings of whatever it is he has.

This morning my coffee tasted funny but I think it’s because of the new sweetener I put in it. I bought a box of Stevia in the Rough; Stevia is a natural no-cal sweetener. It’s supposed to taste more natural of Splenda, so I thought I’d try it. I think maybe it has a bitter taste at first because my coffee just tasted awful.

My CM has been consistently creamy for the past few days, which I am indifferent about. I know that it’s not unusual for copious amounts of creamy CM to be a sign of pregnancy, but I also know that it’s very typical for my body to produce a lot before AF. I’m now on CD24.

On a completely unrelated note, I opened my inbox today to be pleasantly surprised. I have been writing to a website called Helium which is a resource for people who enjoy writing. You can write various articles about countless matters. I have written about eight articles, and was informed today that a publisher has bought one of my articles for $5.00! I don’t know which article yet, but that’s really exciting. I’m a published writer, and I got paid for it! Woo hoo!

I also found out that we are receiving $300 more on our tax refund than I thought we would, and it is getting deposited into our bank account tomorrow!

It’s been a pretty good two days, even if I don’t feel well and feel barfy. Just a few more days to go ’till either AF shows her head or I get a nice surprise.

Cycle 7 news

Well, this is our 7th cycle of trying since we started last June. We had to take two months off, obviously, because of the surgery.

I’m not feeling so optimistic for this cycle. I’m having an abundance of creamy CM, which is generally a sign of AF coming. She’s not due for another 6-9 days, but generally I get very creamy CM after O so.. We’ll just wait and see, I guess.

No symptoms, I’m guessing I’m probably just now at around 7 DPO. Maybe 6. I don’t really know when I ovulated for sure. I did feel really weird and crampy all day yesterday though. A lot of it was in my back, which I’m kind of attributing to the fact that my chair/desk combination here at work sucks. I’ve been pretty much sitting at my computer for a week straight working on our billing so my back/legs/knees have been absolutely killing me.

Last month, my breasts were sore pretty much from around ovulation time until AF was due. They got really, REALLY sore close to AF. I posted a message about it on TTCAM and one of the pieces of feedback was a question of whether I’d been to the doctor to check for ovarian cysts. The poster said that she had a similar issue and when she went to the doc, they found cysts on her ovaries. Now I’m completely and utterly paranoid about cysts on my ovaries. What if she’s right? I don’t want to go to the doctor and have to do an ultrasound and be charged $300 for nothing to be wrong. I’m worried that I’m over-analyzing, and that it’s just something my body does since the miscarriage. A lot of things have changed about my body since we lost the baby. It mimics pregnancy a lot more (which is infuriating) closer to AF time. My boobs get puffy and veiny, I get tired and scatterbrained, I even get queasy. And yet, AF shows up every. single. month.

Ah, well. I don’t have any other symptoms of cysts, so I guess until those develop I’ll just try not to worry about it too much.

Keeping my fingers crossed, though not being overly hopeful or optimistic. I’m really and truly starting to think that it’s never going to happen for me again. I just cannot believe that we got pregnant so easily our first try, and now we’re on our 7th cycle of trying. 7 cycles. I just cannot even believe it.

Yah-hee, icky thump
Who’d-a thunk?
Sittin’ drunk on a wagon to Mexico
Her hair, what a chump
And my head got a bump
When I hit it on the radio
~ Icky Thump, the White Stripes

Oh, hello

Hello, EWCM! I see you there, tryin to be all sneaky.

It’s not working, because I’m like SHERLOCK FRIGGING HOLMES looking for a CLUE.

I SEE YOU THERE! IT’S ON NOW!!!!!!

This is very exciting, seeing EWCM, because I hardly ever see any EWCM, ever. I’m very pleased, and happy with my body.

CM? Oh CM? Where are you?

So I got a positive on my OPK yesterday. Along with some EWCM when I beared down (I’m vowing not to stick my fingers up there to check anymore; I think I wound up with a farily mild UTI and I think it could be from obsessively checking my CP and CM last month.

So anyway, I did see some EWCM when forcing it out from my body yesterday. Some, not a lot. DH and I BDed last night (in the proper position that is fitting for my tilted uterus), and now today… NOTHING. No CM. I can’t get ANYTHING when I bear down. I had this problem last month; the days after I’d BD I would be bone dry. I’m taking my Mucinex, so what gives? I’m terrified that this is why I haven’t gotten pregnant yet; what if my body just isn’t manufacturing enough CM? Is it possible to still have plenty of fertile CM up there even if it doesn’t reach your panties/toilet paper?

I’ve been guzzling water because I know that it’s also imperitive to good, fertile CM. What the hell gives with my dry vagina after I BD with my husband? I just don’t get it. We use Pre’ when we do need lube (which we did not last night), it’s like having sex saps my body of all its’ natural lubricants. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I’m so frustrated with my body, and its lack of cervical mucous.