Wisdom Teeth

Recovery is going OK. I took Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of last week off from work. Wednesday night I have the single worst headache of my entire life. It was like a cross between a sinus headache, and what I suspect a migraine feels like. I’ve never had a migraine before so I don’t really know. What I do know is that I was sensitive to moving, light, sound, and when I closed my eyes I could “see” pulses of light behind my eyes. My husband gets migraines and he confirmed that it did sound like one.

I have a sneaky suspicion that maybe it was the prescribed pain meds that I was taking that triggered the headache. Why do I think this? Well last night I was having a hard time sleeping because the lower left side of my mouth is still hurting a bit, so I took one. I woke up this morning with an AWFUL headache. So I have decided to nix the pain meds and stick with my sinus headache pills that I’ve been taking for the immense pressure in my face and skull.

I’m able to chew with my front teeth a little bit. I’ve been trying to exercise/flex my jaw more so it stops being so stiff, but it’s hard and uncomfortable. Like I mentioned the left side is still a little more painful than the right. The right side of my face feels fine.

So getting back into the TTC frame of mind, I should be ovulating sometime this week. I’m not entirely sure if we’ll make this cycle or not. I haven’t been feeling like doing much of anything, and sex has certainly not been in the front of my mind. I guess we’ll just have to see. Every day I feel a little bit better. I hope that I’ll feel up to it, because for one it’s been a while and for two, I’d like to get this trying crap over with and just get pregnant again already.

I feel like I have been very patient in waiting, and now I’m ready for it to be my turn. Seriously. I’m really getting tired of people in my life getting pregnant before I do. In one month, this is four weeks folks, I have learned of 4 women that I either know personally, am related to, or work with that are pregnant. FOUR. In ONE MONTH. What the hell, universe? I mean, seriously are you trying to torment me? Oy vey. I know that patience is a virtue, but come on.

Here’s hoping. If we do by some chance get pregnant this month, we’d be due in October close to Josh’s birthday. That’d be a nice little birthday gift for him, I think. I guess all we can do is try, and hope for the best.

Belated Wisdom Tooth Update

This was posted in my normal blog yesterday, and I’m just now getting around to posting it today:

Well, I did it. I am now sans four teeth.

We went early this morning, around 9:30. I signed in, they confirmed that they had my credit card info, asked me if I had a ride, had I eaten, etc. I sat back down and 5 minutes later a nurse came and called me. I squeaked out, “No!” but got up, waved bye to Josh and in I went.

They made me comfy in a room, hooked me up to vital monitors and a blood pressure machine. My blood pressure was 120/75 which I guess is good. I’ve never had blood pressure problems. It was kind of funny to watch my heart rate bounce; when nothing was happening it was about 75 and whenever a nurse would hook something up or wheel something near it’d jump. They hooked me up to an IV in my hand (which I’ve never had before) which only hurt a little. They covered me with a big, thick blanket and gave me an ID bracelet. The dentist came in, said hi, and asked if I was ready. I told him not really but they had me all strapped in so I didn’t have a choice. They laughed, and told me they were going to put some oxygen over my face.

The nurse injected some anti-nausea medication into my IV, they put the oxygen over my face and injected me with what I’m assuming was the sedative, because it seems as soon as that oxygen went over my nose things started getting a little blurry and my eyes started to cross.

I think that I maybe remember voices during the procedure but I don’t remember anything else. The next thing I remember I was laying in a chair with the blanket still over me, and the nurse telling me not to move. Things got progressively less fuzzy, and I was able to take in a little more information. I tried to talk, but they told me not to. They had put a cold pack on my right side, as I guess it had experienced a bit more trauma than the left. My tongue felt like a piece of sandpaper, and all I wanted was a drink. I lay there for about 20 minutes regaining consciousness, and they helped me out to where Josh had pulled the car around. They wrote me a doctor’s note through Thursday, and said goodbye.

We went to Walgreens to drop off my scrips for Amoxicillin and some pain meds. Josh drove me back home and got me some more soft food, and picked up my meds. We changed out my gauze for the first time, which freaked me the HELL out. It was a deep, dark red color and completely covered with blood. There were dark red blood clots and it wigged me out. After we put in new ones my jaw and face started hurting kind of badly, so I took my first Oxycodone. I was expecting it to make me silly and nauseous but the only effect they’ve had on me is making me randomly sleep in 20 minute intervals.

I’ve been changing out my gauze all day, and I’m no longer bleeding profusely. The blood is now sparse and brown.. I just got done carefully eating some Jell-O. Josh’s mom is making me homemade potato soup tomorrow, which I’m really, REALLY excited about. I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight as we’ve made a very comfortable nest, and I need to sleep on my back with my head elevated.

Josh also brought back a friend for me; he bought me a plastic triceratops to watch over me when he’s not here. I named the dinosaur Gauzey McBleedinggums.

Overall the surgery took maybe 30 minutes. The time that passed from the moment I walked in the door, to the moment I walked out was maybe an hour and fifteen minutes. The anesthesia did not make me vomit; I haven’t felt even a hint of nausea all day which I’m really happy about. My brother had a really bad experience with the pain medication making him sick. He threw up so much he ended up with dry sockets.

So I’m staying home tomorrow but I’ll probably be back to work Wednesday. I’ve been trying to talk as little as possible, because my jaws are starting to get really sore. I have no bruising as of now, and virtually no swelling. Overall I think it was a really easy surgery.

Ok so anyway, maybe the pain medication is making me a little rambly because that was long. If you made it this far, thank you. 😉 I hope you are all having a great night!

And this is today’s update:

I was able to sleep in about 2 hour intervals last night. I kept getting up, watching a little TV, eating some Jell-O, then going back to sleep. I feel pretty rested. I was a little uncomfortable this morning, so I took one of my pain pills and snoozed for another 2 hours or so. Once I woke up, I didn’t really realize how uncomfortable my face was before the pill, because it feels much better now.

I’m having Josh get me some Tylenol on his way home because I’m going to try to work tomorrow, and I don’t need to take the pain pills while I’m at work. It’s not dangerous for me to do so as I don’t have a particularly physical job, but I’d prefer not to fall asleep repeatedly at work. If I were taking the pills tomorrow, by the way, I’d have Josh drive me.

So I’m going to start myself on Tylenol tonight to see how well it controls the pain. If the pain is still disturbing my comfort level I may take one more day off. My doc’s note says it’s OK to return to work Thurs, so we’ll just play it by ear.

I’m going to watch Ellen now, and try and brush my teeth. My discharge instructions say to begin brushing (gently, and not at the surgical site obviously) and rinsing with salt water today. I have an irrigation tool that I’m to start using on Friday.

Overall this process hasn’t been bad. No nausea, the pain is controllable. I have noticed that I have not had much of an appetite. Just a little grumbling here and there which I can usually shut up with some Jell-O. I am tired of eating sweets though, so I’m really looking forward to some soup this afternoon.

I’m off to watch Ellen! Thank you everyone for the well-wishes!

You say it’s your birthday?

Well, it’s my birthday, too! Yeah!

I’m 25 years old today. I have been on this planet for a quarter of a century. How in the hell did that happen? It seems like yesterday I was celebrating my 20th birthday and marveling at the fact that I was two decades old.

Yikes. I have found that the older I get, the faster time goes.

Monday’s the BIG DAY for the wisdom teeth. See ya, suckers! It’s been fun!

1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more. Sleepless long nights, that is what my youth was for. Old teenager hopes are alive at your door, left you with nothing but they want some more…
1234 by Feist

Not much to say

Now that we’re on a TTC break, and this is sort of my TTC journal, it’s been quiet. I don’t have much to report right now… I’ve got my wisdom tooth surgery rescheduled for January the 12th. We’re going to miss this cycle of trying but we shouldn’t miss next cycle. I’m set to O around late January, so we should be back in the game by then.

I’m really disappointed in myself and my fitness. It’s been bothering me for a few weeks now. I keep saying that I’m going to go to the gym, and I never do. I did so well the first half of this year…. I lost 20 pounds, and I felt great. Now I guarantee I’ve gained at LEAST 10 of those pounds back, and I’m feeling sluggish and out of shape again. I have to start all over again. I have to find the motivation that I found in January…… It’s hiding from me and I’m irritated. Every night I lie in bed thinking about how fat I feel, and vow to myself that I will go to the gym. And I never do.

All I need is three days a week. Three days a week to get me started…. *sighs*

I think I’m going to start posting a song lyric at the end of my blog entry if I’m listening to music. So here’s the song I’m listening to right now.

“When I counted up my demons, saw there was one for every day. With the good ones on my shoulder, I drove the other ones away. So if you ever feel neglected, and you think that all is lost, I’ll be counting up my demons yeah, hoping everything’s not lost.” ~ Everything’s Not Lost by Coldplay.

‘Bout damn time

Thanks for finally showing up AF, it’s really nice to see you.

/sarcasm

I rescheduled my wisdom tooth surgery for January 12th. This means we will not be able to try for one more cycle, which is probably for the best because my fertile time would have most likely come while we were on vacation in Chicago anyway, and that would have just been awkward to try to have a baby while sleeping in my father’s living room.

But my surgery is paid for, so it’s going to happen on the 12th. I’m anxious to just get it the hell over with so we can start trying again. I’m tired of everyone in the universe getting pregnant around me, either intentionally or accidentally with me sitting here spinning my damn wheels. I’m tired of being jealous every time I hear about someone getting pregnant, regardless of whether I know them or not. Seriously, every time I hear about a woman announcing a pregnancy, I feel jealous. It’s ridiculous. I understand that it’s a stupid, petty emotion to feel but I cannot help myself. I’m tired of everyone else having their turn while I’m still stuck here. It frigging sucks, and I’m not going to apologize for the way I feel. What happened to me isn’t fair, it sucks, and I have the right to feel every emotion that comes with losing a baby.

OK, that rant is over. That being said, it’s pretty cool that Christmas is coming up, I’m not looking forward to the 22nd as that is the anniversary of the day we lost the baby, but whatever. It’s going to come, I have to deal with it, and then after that all the major “losing the baby” milestones will have passed.

Meanwhile, it seems like everyone in the universe is getting pregnant except for me. OK, I need to stop bitching about that because that’s just the way things go and nothing I do can change the fact. And logically I know that not everyone in the universe is pregnant besides me but sometimes it sure does feel that way.

Dear future baby

Dear Nellie or Levi,

Hey. It’s mommy again. I have a request for you. I know that daddy and I have put off trying to bring you into this world for a while while mommy gets her teeth taken care of…. But I have a request.

When we start to try again.. Please, please, please don’t make us wait long. I’m asking you with all sincerity, from the bottom of my heart. I want to meet you so badly. I want to carry you so badly. Please, kiddo, I really need you. We both love you so much already, and you don’t even exist yet.

Thanks,

Your future mommy

Everything happens for a reason

So, they say that everything happens for a reason. I do believe that, even if sometimes the reason is really hard to see. Sometimes I wonder if maybe it even takes months or years to see. When we lost the baby, I had a really hard time believing that. Why would that happen? I understand that the baby died because there was something wrong with it, but why even let that baby start if he wasn’t meant for this world? Why would I have to go through that pain?

The reason still isn’t clear to me. It may take a long time before it becomes clear to me.

Then there’s the fact that we’ve been trying again to get pregnant since June. It’s been almost a half a year since we’ve started trying again, and still no baby. Why? I ask myself this every month when my period shows. Why is it so hard for us?

Well, I think I have my answer. My wisdom teeth have been giving me problems for a few years now. It happens in waves; the lower right one will try and come through, my gums will hurt, it’s hard to chew, I’ll think about going to the dentist and then it stops hurting and isn’t a problem anymore. A few weeks or months will pass, and the same thing will happen. Last week it happened again, only this time it started to make my jaw hurt. I looked in the mirror and saw how my gum was split from the tooth trying to come in; and I finally decided to do something about my teeth. I called a dentist that my boss recommended to me, and made an appointment for tomorrow to get looked at. After I got off the phone, something occured to me: What if this is the reason that we haven’t gotten pregnant yet? I got to thinking. If we had gotten pregnant anytime between June and now, and my wisdom teeth started acting up like this, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it. I couldn’t have them out, because you can’t have anesthetic like that when you’re pregnant. What if they had gotten worse, gotten infected, I’d have gotten sick, etc. I feel silly saying this, but it’s like our baby knows this and is just waiting and waiting, saying, “Mom, I know that you’re ready for me, but you have got to take care of your body before I can come.”

So we are putting off TTC until we see what’s going on with my teeth. If I have to have them taken out, it won’t be until the New Year. I would like to get the procedure done on a Friday so I have the weekend to recover, and my weekends are full of stuff that I can’t cancel until after the New Year. I’m sad that we won’t be pregnant for Christmas, but I’m really hoping for better luck in the New Year.

Another thing that I realized, is that by the time we’re ready to try again, it will probably be late January/February. That means I wouldn’t be due until Sept/Oct, and that’s only if we got pregnant again right away. And THAT means that I would have brand new vacation time at work that I could take for maternity leave! Our vacation time expires at the end of September every year, and we have to decide early on what days we want to take throughout the next fiscal year. I’ve already chosen mine for this year because we weren’t pregnant yet, so I had to write some down and choose days. But if we get pregnant in the New Year, I’ll know when I’d need to take time off and can choose it as soon as my new days become available!

So there we have it. I feel like I have a little bit of peace and explanation as to why we haven’t been successful in getting pregnant yet. It may sound silly, but it helps me cope with it a little bit.

So off to the dentist I go tomorrow, and we’ll see where we stand from there.