Hey, jealousy!

Wow. Last night, between the movie theatre and Wal-Mart, I saw 4 – count ’em – FOUR pregnant women.

It’s not as hard as it used to be, now that my EDD has passed and I’m not eying them knowing I should LOOK like them, but I still get a twinge of jealousy.

I’m trying very hard to be patient. Very, very hard to be patient indeed.

Have you ever been to an amusement park? You know, when you’re waiting in line for a roller coaster for a really long time, and all of a sudden, somebody who hasn’t been waiting as long or as patiently as you have sneakily ducks through the queue lines, and cuts in front of you? This is how I feel sometimes. I know a few women who have gotten pregnant accidentally, or after 1-3 cycles of trying, and that is how it makes me feel. I want to stand on my tiptoes, and yell at them, “WAIT YOUR TURN!” I want to say something to them, but of course, I don’t. I stay quiet, silently fuming to myself, throwing my wordless little temper tantrum inside of my head.

I know that I’ll eventually get on that roller coaster. Maybe it will break down sometimes, and I will have to wait a bit longer. But I’m a more patient person than Little-Miss-Cuts-In-Line. And I guess in the end that will make me appreciate things a lot more.

On the verge of the 1WW

I’m finding myself pretty mellow. I’m not over-analyzing every little thing that my body does. I’m not mashing on my boobs every five minutes to see if they’re sore. To be honest, I think last month kind of broke me of even TRYING to interpret IPS, because I had a lot of them last month, and a lot of them were really promising. But AF showed up, and crashed my party. So I’m not looking for IPS anymore. I don’t want to get my hopes up like that again.

I’m just waiting for next week to roll around, for time to tell whether we got lucky this month or not.

So there you have it. I will not, I REPEAT, I will NOT POAS until Tuesday, September 23rd. My period should be here Friday the 19th, or Saturday the 20th. But I will not be POAS until that Tuesday.

Cervical confusion

The cervix is the most confusing thing on the face of the planet. It really is.

So when you’re not fertile, it’s supposed to be low, firm, and closed. When you are fertile; high, soft, and open.

Also, your cervical mucous is supposed to be like egg-whites when you are close to O time. Creamy, or sticky indicates that you may be fertile, but that EW is what you’re looking for.

So, let’s take a look see at my cycle thus far.

Since my miscarriage, I have been having 31 day cycles, with an ovulation day of around 17. Cycle day (CD) 6-9, I had egg-white cervical mucous (EWCM). This is not typical for me. I started taking Mucinex this cycle in hopes to thin my cervical mucous (CM) out a bit. Well, it ran out of me like water. It was EWCM a-plenty! I figured that it was just because I was taking the Mucinex.

I began using my ovulator predictor kit (OPK) test strips on CD 10, and after all that EWCM, my CM was just creamy or sticky. My cervical position (CP) was decent; mostly medium height, medium texture, medium opening. Much to my surprise, on CD13, I got a positive OPK. This generally means that your body has detected an LH surge (the hormone that is present during ovulation), and that you will ovulate within the next 24-48 hours. I also had a complete dry-up of my CM. There was nothing to be accounted for whatsoever.

I continued to use my OPKs, just to be on the safe side. All negative; one right after the other. So, I assume that I ovulated sometime over the weekend. Great, grand, wonderful.

CD15-16, my CP is LFC. All of a sudden today, CD18, my CP is HSC, with an ABUNDANCE of creamy CM. What!?

This is by far, the most confusing cycle I’ve had trying to conceive. I am completely confused as to my body’s fertility signs. They seem to be all jumbled up, and I’m just left scratching my head, going, “What?” and hoping that we timed everything right this month. I’m starting to think that maybe local colleges should start offering “trying to conceive” courses. Screw chemistry, astronomy or physics, trying to interpret my body’s fertility signs is like a science in and of itself. If I manage to get pregnant from this crazy-ass cycle, I should receive a Nobel Prize.. Seriously.

So I’m considering myself in the 2WW now. I’m going to try and not over-analyze anything that my body may do, because last month I honestly thought I was having some really good pregnancy symptoms. It just goes to show you, though, my body is a confusing liar. So here I wait, trying to remain calm and sane, and patient.

With my fingers crossed, of course.

Cycle confusion

So, I’m not temping this month. I decided not to, because my waking times are too sporadic and I don’t think using a BBT adjuster is reliable.

Anywhoo. Tuesday-Thursday of last week, I had PLENTIFUL CM. And it was very much EW, some creamy. I mean, there was a lot. I wrote that off to the Mucinex.

So Thursday, we BD. Josh didn’t finish, because his back was hurting. No worries. Friday, I was as DRY AS A BONE down there. My CP was still pretty good, but I had NO CM to speak of. Not even using the Mucinex! WTF? So I’m thinking maybe I O’ed RIDICULOUSLY early, and we already missed it.

Nope. I got a + OPK Friday. STILL no CM to speak of. So, DH and I BD’ed Friday. Saturday, still no CM. We didn’t get the chance to BD, but we did first thing Sunday morning. My CM is all dry now, and my CP is LFC. I was expecting to ovulate TOMORROW, not Friday or Saturday! WTH?

My body’s weird. It’d be nice if we got pregnant this cycle. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is this month. That’d be a lovely, wonderful anniversary gift. If we don’t get pregnant, I will be disappointed of course, but we will try, try again. I’m just confused with my CM not corresponding with my + OPK. Whatever…

Oh, and this is sort of funny. I think I hurt myself BDing. DH had me in this weird position, and I woke up yesterday with this horrible pain in my lower back/butt. It’s just on the right hand side, but I honestly think I pulled something while BDing!!! Whoops.

What we are trying this month

This month we are:

  • Not temping (my waking times have been too sporadic and I think I obsess more after O when I temp)
  • Using OPKs
  • Using Pre’
  • Taking Mucinex
  • Using SME (the right way)

AF is due on September 23rd. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is September 25th. How wonderful of a wedding anniversary gift would that be? :)

T-minus 6 days until “predicted” ovulation.