Almost the moment of truth

I’m expecting AF to show her head anywhere between today and Friday. I’m going to try to hold off on testing until Saturday morning, if she doesn’t show by then.

I’m feeling relatively indifferent with just a touch of optimism about this month. I’ve been crampy on and off since pretty much just a few days after ovulation, which is both disheartening and mystifying at the same time for me. I don’t know how that is possible, but that is the way I feel.

Ever since the cycle back in.. August, I think it was where I truly thought my IPS were RPS and that I was pregnant only to be ambushed by AF, I haven’t put much stock into IPS. Things I have noticed about this month is an abundance of creamy CM since a few days after O, I’ve been REALLY gassy (sometimes I think I’m cramping and get kind of disappointed, and then I’ll pass gas and the feeling will go away.. TMI, sorry!), and very tired. Monday and Tuesday night I went to bed around 8:30 PM. I would have probably gone to bed early last night but I had chorus and didn’t get home until later.

So there we have it. I don’t know what to think about this cycle. Part of me is hopeful, and the other part of me is so used to being disappointed and let down that I cannot possibly believe that this is finally it. I’ve honestly gotten into the mindset that I will never again get pregnant, so the thought of actually succeeding and getting a positive test result seems so out of the realm of possibility it’s hard to get excited.

Only time will tell. Keep your fingers crossed for me, if you are so inclined. An October pumpkin would be an awfully nice birthday gift for Josh.

I fly like paper, get high like planes
If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name
If you come around here, I make ’em all day
I get one down in a second if you wait
Paper Planes, M.I.A


  1. Kimmygintx says:

    {{HUGS}} and GL!!!

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