WTF?! Also Known As: Things I Didn’t Know About Pregnancy Until I Got Pregnant

Things no one told me about pregnancy that I had to find out for myself:

  1. Everything you eat will cause your stomach to feel like someone lit a match and dropped it down your throat and into your esophagus.
  2. You will waddle when you walk. You will not be able to stop this, or remedy it in any way. People will make fun of you and mimic your ‘duck shuffle’.
  3. Your hormones and emotions are no longer your own. There is some other woman who takes control of them, and she is clinically insane.
  4. If you don’t get (insert craving of your choice) right at the moment you crave it, you may be overwhelmed with feelings of sadness/anger/anxiety, causing you to lash out at those around you until you can get said snack.
  5. You will become unable to eat or drink anything without spilling it all over yourself and the surface about you.
  6. You will knock things over when you touch them, pick them up, look at them, etc.
  7. Your butt will hurt when you sit.
  8. Your hips will hurt when you lie on your side.
  9. Your arm will fall asleep when you lie on your side.
  10. You will pee yourself when you laugh/sneeze/fart/breathe heavily.
  11. If you eat too much, you will be miserable.
  12. If you don’t eat enough, you will be miserable.
  13. Maternity pants are the greatest thing in the entire universe.
  14. Someone simply saying your name can evoke feelings of rage and irritation the likes of which have never been seen.
  15. You will get winded from walking down a hallway and will be unable to take a deep breath.
  16. It will feel sometimes like your baby is kicking you directly in the vagina.

And one of the biggest things that I never knew about pregnancy…

You will be completely taken aback by the feeling of love that floods your heart when you lay eyes on the black and white image of your baby, see its heart beating and its little body wiggling. Your mind, heart, soul and life will be changed forever. <3


  1. Kimmygintx says:

    So true!! Awesome post!

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