Major Overhaul

I was moved by the spirit of a crazy person yesterday.

I’m about to do something to this blog that’s either going to be great, or a very stupid decision on my part.

I’m giving it a complete and utter overhaul.

I’m not just talking appearance. I’m talking name, too. I am changing my blog’s name, and my Twitter identity to match it. I’ve been feeling like my social identities are disjointed for a while, and I also feel like I’ve changed past my blog’s name. Hope Springs Eternal fit me right after our miscarriage, and during our struggles to conceive… But it doesn’t, really, anymore. So I’m changing the name and the look of my blog.

So when you see a new blog pop up in your reader, or get an email with an unfamiliar blog name, fear not. It’s me. Same ole’ me. I’d tell you what the blog’s name is going to be, but I’d have to kill you if you were to find out prematurely.

Hopefully the change will occur within the next few days.

Stay tuned……

Body After Baby Project – Errrr.

Hooooookay. So. Here’s the thing. I’ve done absolutely nothing in the way of lifestyle changes, exercise, nutrition, etc. I try and eat semi-healthy. But it doesn’t happen. I’m so busy. Having a job, a husband that works, a baby, and ONE CAR is not conducive to weight loss or exercise. If I’m not at work, I’m in the car either dropping him off, picking him up, or transferring Nellie from point A to point B. On days Josh works, we don’t get home until almost 8:00. We have to start Nellie’s bedtime routine ASAP so she doesn’t get in bed too late, which leaves us almost no time to cook. We almost always end up grabbing something quick to eat.

So, I’m saying it. Right now, my head is not into losing the baby weight. I thought that it was, but it’s not. I can’t put forth the effort right now. I am busy enough with working, being a mom, and trying to carve out family time that exercise is just not a priority right now. So I’m shelving my end of the Body After Baby Project – for now. I’m not getting rid of it, or giving it up, but for now I am putting it on the shelf until I can revisit it when I can get my shit together a little bit more, and dedicate actual and real time and effort into making a change.

I apologize to everyone who has been with me for the past 11 or so weeks but I just cannot dedicate myself to this right now. I won’t be making any more Body After Baby posts for a while.. If you’re looking for a bloggy weight loss team to join, check out McFatty Mondays! You can Google it and find the blogs that participate.

I hope you still stop by the ole’ blog from time to time. This is the Body After Baby Project, signing out… for now.



There are no words, so just.. Enjoy.


I hear you wake on the monitor. A coo, at first, followed by fussing. I lay in bed, waiting to see if you put yourself back to sleep.

You do not. I look at my clock to check on the time.

3:38. I have to be up in two hours. I get out of bed, and I sigh.

I make my way into your room. You’re on your back, and your pacifier is beside you. I roll you to your side and put the pacifier back in your mouth. I give you your stuffed fox and wait to see if sleep takes you.

It doesn’t. You roll back, look at me and whine. You’re not going back down without a fight. I pick you up from your crib, and I sigh.
I carry you over to the glider, sit, and begin gliding back and forth. It makes a soft whooshing noise in the darkness of your room. You begin to squirm and cry. I stand up and start bouncing you and you quiet down. I sigh as you fight me.

Bouncing always puts you to sleep. You struggle a bit more before your limbs begin to hang, your tiny hand no longer flailing about and seeking something to grab. I sit back down with you in the glider and we rock.

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh; accompanying the sound of the air conditioning running in the apartment. I sit and rock you, waiting for the right time to put you down and head back to sleep.

And suddenly…. you sigh. A sigh of perfect contentment and love. You snuggle your face against my chest and you succumb fully to sleep. I cannot make out your face in the dark but I look down at you anyway. I’m suddenly hyper-aware of you; the weight of your body against mine. The way your pajamas feel against my skin… I find your hand and kiss it. You sigh softly again, and I realize that this is but a fleeting moment as time hurtles by us with breakneck speed. I have waited for the day when you no longer cry out in the middle of the night needing comfort because it will mean a full night’s sleep, and I realize that soon, those days will be here and this evening will be but a tiny drop of water in an ocean of time, and memories. When I am old, and you are grown, will I remember the whoosh of the glider, the hum of the air? Will I remember the warmth of you, the way you felt in my arms on this night? Will I remember the sound of you breathing in and out, the feel of your fingers curling through my hair as you fell asleep?

I sigh. This time with tears in my eyes and I hold you close. I am taken by the urge to hold you until the sun comes up, until I am forced to wake you for the day…. To hold you forever. But we both need our sleep, so I rise from the glider and settle you back down into the bed that you were once so small in. The bed that you grow into more and more each day. I look down at my baby, (it seems like yesterday just came into this world), and I say a silent thank you for coming into my life and making me your mother.

It’s all about these fleeting moments in time.

Ice Cream WTF

My husband is off work every other Friday-Sunday, which is pretty awesome. One Friday night when he was off, I got a craving for some ice cream. I’m not a huge ice cream fan (and in my 1st trimester during my pregnancy with Nellie, the smell of it made me want to vomit) so this was rare for me. But there it was; a big, fat ice cream craving. I had to have it. I wanted it so badly that if I didn’t get it, someone was going to get hurt.

So after dinner we headed to a local ice cream place called Bruster’s. Bruster’s is delicious and amazing, and home of one of the most gigantic brownie sundaes on the face of the planet. Seriously, it’s a massive mountain of ice cream and fudge. But I didn’t want a brownie sundae. What I wanted was very simple, and one of my favorite ice cream treats to have ever since I was a kid:

One scoop of vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles.

I am a rainbow sprinkle fiend. It makes no sense, because all rainbow sprinkles are, are little pellets of sugar and food coloring but I love the damn things like… Well, like a fat girl loves ice cream (I can say that, ‘cuz I’m fat, ya’ll). Rainbow sprinkles instantly make ice cream better. Maybe not all ice cream, because butter pecan would be disgusting and confusing with rainbow sprinkles. But plain ole’ vanilla? BRING ON THE SPRINKLES.

So we pull into the drive through and Josh asks me if I know what I want. I hesitate for just a moment, then nod that yes, I do. Now, he has this weird thing about ordering in a drive-thru for me. HE WON’T DO IT. He makes me lean over him and shout into the speaker what I want. So I lean a little and inform the nice man taking my order that I want “one scoop of vanilla, with rainbow sprinkles, in a cup” (‘cuz I don’t wanna be messy, see?). Simple order, yes? Josh orders a chocolate chip milkshake. The guy mumbles something back that sounds like “hurrfur durfur milkshake and blahblah hmpph hrrr babycone will that be all?”
…..Um, sure?
“Okay, that’ll be $3.somethingorother”

Well that seems cheap. Whatever, we pull through to the window and whip out the card. He takes it, walks away and comes back to hand it to us. I peer into the window, my mouth practically watering with anticipation, longing for the moment when those delicious, colorful sprinkles of delight will grace my taste buds with their presence.

A moment later, he returns yet again and hands Josh this:

Um. What?

I’m sorry, but what the effing hell is that? No, seriously. LOOK AT IT. Let’s just talk about this for a second.
I’m not quite sure if you can tell the size from the picture (we put Josh’s thumb in there at an attempt at scale reference) but that scoop of ice cream and the cone could have fit in the palm of my hand. Okay, so, apparently they thought a TINY, TINY WOODLAND CREATURE was ordering some ice cream, BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SATISFIED WITH THAT.

Now, let’s talk about the other thing that makes this particular sweet confection a big, fat, WTF Fest. THE FACE. Go ahead and look at the picture again. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE MR. BILL.

Oh nooo, Mr. Ice Cream!!

The ice cream seems to be pleading with me not to eat it. Begging for its’ pitiful little vanilla-flavored life. It’s begging me to show it mercy, for the sake of its’ weirdo wife and freako little rainbow sprinkle-covered children. I told it, “No, ice cream, you are not what I ordered and I am so angry I AM GOING TO EAT YOU IN ONE BITE” and the ice cream just looked at me like this

And I shoved the whole damn thing in my mouth making angry noises.

Why didn’t we ask for our money back, you ask? Or perhaps, what I actually ordered? Well, I was too busy reeling from the shock of the Weirdest Ice Cream Ever and my husband was laughing so hard he could barely see straight.

Needless to say, my ice cream craving was NOT satisfied that blistering summer evening and has YET to be fulfilled. I’m still trying to figure out how “one scoop of vanilla, with rainbow sprinkles, in a cup” translated into “a tiny, terrified ice cream man with googly eyes and a rainbow mohawk”. I think it’s one of those great mysteries of life that I’ll never fully understand.


I’m not here today.

Today, you can find me at

The Lame Sauce

Guest blogging about swear words, being lame, and Oreos.

Also, I’m dressed like a Crazy Cat Lady.


A New (Blog) Home, A New Look For Me!

You may not notice, because things don’t look very different around here but I am no longer using Blogger! I made THE BIG SWITCH to WordPress with Kelly at Twenty70Hosting! I’m really excited and looking forward to seeing what WP has to offer me! I know I am going to revamp some things here and there, so be on the lookout!

Last weekend I finally got a haircut. I visited a local salon that uses Bumble and Bumble products, which I’ve been wanting to try forever. A good friend of mine told me to take before and after pictures, so I did.


The following image may frighten small children. Please ensure that your little ones have left the room.




Look! A Human Being!

Not bad, eh? A dude cut my hair and I was totally nervous, because apparently I’m a Hair Sexist. But dude did a rockin’ job and I really liked the B&B products he used. He used the Curl Conscious line, with the Surf Spray.. I’m going to be buying trial sizes of the Curl Conscious to try to see if I like it. I’m not going w/ the full sizes because they are… Oh, about $20.00 a flipping bottle. Yeah,  no jokes.

So anyway.. I’ve been quiet because I didn’t want to make more work for Kelly when it came to switching everything over, but now I’m back, baby! I have a few great blog posts up my sleeve and am really excited about some things that may be in the works for me, blog-wise. Oh, and I won’t be around Saturday because on Saturday I’ll be guest posting at The Lame Sauce! I AM EXCITE.

‘Cuz She’s Got…

My friend Michelle blogged recently about how her son Liam has sprouted this little personality, seemingly overnight. I got to thinking about Nellie and how her personality has evolved and emerged in the last few months. I had always anticipated her as being mellow and easy-going because she was never very active in the womb. To an extent, I was right. When we’re out with her she just sits back and watches the world. Her big eyes just drink in the sights, the faces of the people she meets, the colors that the world has to offer. When people talk to her, she almost always gives them a smile. Not a big, open-mouthed grin (those are saved for her favorite people) but a smile and people comment on how easily she goes to folks she doesn’t know.

Nellie has recently begun to emit this low, gutteral, growling/grunting noise. The first time she did it I was convinced she was pooping, because it was so close to her “poopnoise” but when I checked her diaper repeatedly it was dry as a bone. She kept doing it, and I figured it was just one of those weird baby things. Either that, or she was turning into some prehistoric beast.

Another thing that she will do is pull her pacifier out of her mouth and then blow raspberries on it and it looks and sounds like she’s playing it as a trumpet. When you pick her up and she is facing you, her hands immediately go onto your face. She examines you silently, her eyes poring over the details of your features and then she likes to rake her nails down your cheeks and pull on your lower lip until you scream.

Nellie loves my hair and she is lightning-quick when it comes to pulling it. Before I can react, her little fingers whip out and grab hold of either side of my head and she pulls me like you would a horse’s reins. I started making a game of lightly shaking my hair over her face and she would giggle. I stopped when she snatched a handful of my curls and tugged so hard I thought blood was going to come out of my head.

Nellie can sit unassisted now. It, like every other milestone she’s achieved, seemed like it happened overnight. One day she couldn’t sit and then one day, she could. She can also stand if she’s leaning back against something, or if you are holding her hands and helping her balance. There aren’t any signs of actual words yet and I suspect she’s going to be a mover before she’s a talker.

In the past two months, I feel like the post partum fog has finally lifted. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy Nellie before about two months ago. I just feel like I’ve finally gotten into this whole “Mom Groove” and have really become confident in myself as a mother. The other day at work, I was looking at a picture of her and I began to cry because I was just hit with this sudden and overwhelming sense of missing her. My heart was filled with longing and I just wanted to hold her in my arms and snuggle my nose into her neck and smell her sweet baby scent.

This girl.. This girl is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, the greatest thing that I’ve ever done. She’s growing so fast. This year has gone by so quickly it’s terrifying. We packed away her swing in favor of an Exersaucer. We said “bye bye” to her bath seat, and hello to her “big girl” tub (a yellow Munchkin duck; she’s not quite ready for the actual tub yet). Her newborn and 3 month clothes are packed away and she’s almost grown out of her 6 month clothes.

Yes… My girl is growing up faster than I can keep up with. Every day with her is precious, because every day is a step closer to her needing us less and less.

This post has gotten really long, so I leave you with some recent pictures of the love of my life, just two weeks shy of 7 months old.


Ya’ll get two blog posts from me today, because this matter is SERIOUS FRIGGING BUSINESS.

My cat Mungo jumped up on the bed and I was loving on him when I felt a bump. I was like, “Aw, you have a scab.” Then I noticed little black flecks, like flea dirt. I thought it was a scab from him scratching at a flea (or nine). I just dosed both cats with Advantage less than a week ago.

So I go to push aside his fur to take a gander and I see something move.



I push the fur back and touch the moving scab



So I flip my shit and jump off the bed and start squealing like a total girl. My husband opens one eye and looks at me sleepily, wondering what the hell’s wrong with me.


“Pull it out.”


“….A tick has to bite you before you can get Lyme Disease.”


So I get a tissue and start trying to get a grip on the tick. I almost vomit all over my cat I’m so squicked out. I proceed to carry on and squeal and finally find some balls. I go get my tweezers (which I’M NEVER USING AGAIN) and drag my poor cat into the bathroom. I hold him down and he starts doing that low, growly meow at me when I start poking around the tick. I apologize, try and choke back my vomit, and pull the offending insect out of the cat’s skin.

It comes out easily enough. I shriek and throw it in the toilet.

I run out here and promptly lose my mind all over Twitter, Facebook, and here.

SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE. LYME. DISEASE. IT HAPPENS. I am SO PARANOID now that BOTH my cats are INFESTED with ticks, and me and my entire family ARE GOING TO GET LYME DISEASE.

I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight.


OMG, do ticks lay eggs like fleas??? IS MY HOUSE GOING TO BECOME OVERRUN WITH TICKS NOW? I’m going to have to move away, aren’t I? FML.

Body After Baby Project: Week 8

I think it’s safe to say that my initial goal of 10 pounds in 10 weeks is a bust. I wanted to be 10 pounds lighter by the end of August and I doubt I’ve even lost one pound. So, it’s time to reassess my goals.

I have been struggling to find time to work out. Since my husband works 12 hour shifts (7 AM to 7 PM), and I am almost always either:

A: Driving him to work, then driving the baby to her Gran’s, then driving myself to work.
B: Putting the baby to sleep
C: Running errands
D: Sleeping

Time for exercise is rare. I could sneak in the occasional walk if it weren’t a thousand degrees outside. So I’ve made a few small, attainable goals for myself.

1. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.
2. Walk at least 20 minutes ONE DAY A WEEK.
3. Stop eating out so much.
And my last one is a big one. It’s huge. It’s gigantic.

4. Get down to a size 14 & BE FIT by Blog Her 2011.

I spent much of my weekend enviously reading my friends’ Tweets from the Blog Her conference in NYC. I found myself sighing longingly, thinking about it, and even dreaming about the damn conference that I wasn’t able to make this year. After reading Tweets and seeing pictures from the Sparklecorn party last night, I made up my mind. I’m going, damnit. Blog Her 2011 is going to be in SAN EFFING DIEGO next year, but that’s not going to stop me. I’m going to start socking money away NOW, and begin looking for a sponsor whom I love and who will love me back NOW. My goal is to look smashing at the cocktail parties next year, and my body is comfortable at a size 14. I also want to be healthy and fit by Blog Her 2011.

So this event is a year away. One year. I can do this.

So what about you, mamas? How is everyone doing? Have you met your goals, had to reassess, or fallen off the wagon completely like me? It’s okay if you have. None of us are perfect, and there is always time to start anew.

Here’s your link-up!

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