BHB Guest Post #2: Allie

For my next BHB guest post, I give you Allie. Allie blogs over at The Baby Birthing Mama.

Anyway, I told Allie to give me her funniest pregnancy story, and she then wrote me a tale about her ass bleeding.



When I got pregnant with my first child I was a mere 17 years old. Pretty young for a parent to be. As a pregnant young woman I had no idea about ANYTHING related to pregnancy. I was clueless….And lets just say my doctor wasn’t forth coming on pregnancy related side effects.

Lets face it, everybody poops. And as a preggo constipation can be HORRENDOUS! I mean truly miserable. As I said before I had not clue of the side effects of pregnancy. One of the first ones I met was the oh so fabulous Hemorrhoids. Now hemorrhoids are a great thing if you love being in pain as you try to use the bathroom. But most people don’t.

This is where this story turns to the nitty gritty of hemorrhoid. The first time I ever had them they were terrible and made me cry like a baby. But I didn’t say a word.  Who talks about pooping to others? Certainly not this mother to be.

The second time it happened, again it hurt.(shocker) But this time I had the added bonus of busting one of those bad boys open. Of course I didn’t know until I was done using the rest room of the terrible event that just happened.

Now for a young mother to be, who was before 12 weeks, I was scared. I know you miscarry through you vagina and not you butt, but I have to say that was the first thing that came to mind. And then I remembered, you don’t birth through the booty so I was good there. After that first conclusion I had no clue what to think. All I could do was CRY and CRY and wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Was I dying??

Luckily I had an older sister, who had a child and I could ask what was up.  She could hear the tears in my voice and asked what was wrong. I said “When I poop it bleed and hurts and I don’t know what to do or what is wrong with me?!?!” Well my wise sister informed me of my other room mate that shared my body. The awesome and very generous expanded blood vessels in my ass.

Needless to say I felt like a complete idiot for crying over my butt. Although I was scared at first, I learned to eat my fiber! Its crazy that everyone always say to take your prenatal vitamins and watch out for that morning sickness, but nobody tells you you may bleed from your ass  and need LOTS of pads after birth! Preggos beware and eat you veggies!


  1. Oh man! That's horrible. I had all sorts of weird and gross pregnancy side effects but thankfully I missed out on all ass-related issues.

  2. Haha!!! It's so true!!! I was so mad nobody warned me about those things!
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  3. Ugh so true. Pregnancy is so not glamorous….except for actually growing a living being inside of you, feeling the baby move and then getting to meet that precious little being. Okay, okay. It's pretty freaking awesome (but still gross most of the time!!).

  4. I didn't have to deal with any of that until after I had Mason. And I informed the doctor that if he ever expected me to use the bathroom again I was going to need another epidural!
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