Safety 1st Winner!

I’m a dummy and didn’t take screencaps, but the winner of the Safety 1st Convertible Car Seat giveaway was drawn last night, and the winner was Robin (rna2418)! She has been contacted, has responded and is officially the winner! Thank you to everyone who entered. Stay tuned, there is a new giveaway going up on December 1st!

Sippy Cups vs. Shots

There’s a phenomenon that I’ve noticed since becoming a mother.

To some, I have become invisible. Non-existent. Frumpy looking woman + baby in stroller = invisible to many.

I took Nellie to the mall tonight to wander a bit while waiting to pick up Josh from work and I realized that there are pretty much just a few different types of reactions I get from people. They either grin at Nellie or coo at her and comment on how lovely she is, they glance down at her and go about their business without so much as a hint of a smile, or they don’t see us at all. They walk by us, walk around us, or in the case of this evening they wander out of a store single-file, directly in our path to the point where I have to stop with my stroller waiting for them to pass out of my way. This trio walked from the store, looked directly at me, and sauntered one by one to the point where I actually had to come to a stop. There was no getting around them. It was like I didn’t exist in their world. They took their sweet time getting out of our way and I shot them a nasty look once they’d passed.

Before I had a child, I would walk around the mall aware of the other people like me. Women, couples, handsome men. I would wonder how I looked to them. Even though I was happily married, I still hoped that I caught an appreciative glance or two because let’s face it: what woman doesn’t like to be ogled at just a little bit? And now I consider it a good day if I’ve had a shower, and am wearing clothes without baby barf on them.

Those people are on an entirely different planet from me. I may be invisible to them but to me, they are alien. I see the well-dressed, young, carefree girls linked arm-in-arm giggling their way across the mall and I cock my  head and watch them as I push my baby daughter in her stroller. I think back on a time where my life revolved around what I was going to do on a weekend night. It was nothing to go out to eat, see a movie, then go to a friend’s house and drink the rest of the evening. To be out until 2 AM was the norm. Now? Home by 7, or all holy hell will break loose because the baby will be too tired.

It’s not a bad thing, it’s just curious to me. I feel like my life before Nellie was lived a thousand years ago and by a different person. Josh and I have discussed this. What in the hell did we do before we became parents? We wasted a lot of money, took a lot of naps, and saw a lot of movies. We had pretty active social lives. Now, we’re usually in bed and asleep by 10 PM.

When I’d see a noisy or screaming kid at the mall in my previous life, I’d shoot the parents an annoyed glance. Now when I see a toddler in mid-tantrum, his parents on either side of him looking desperate and holding out a coat, I shoot them an entirely different look: a look of sympathy. We haven’t reached the tantrum phase but I know what it’s like to wrangle a squirmy, noisy child. I understand how much time an outing takes to plan. I realize now that you have to bring the baby’s entire world when you want to go out for just a few hours. It’s funny to me, sometimes, to see the contrast in the carefree couples flouncing through the mall and the pleading parents of the yowling toddler in such close proximity to one another yet neither really acknowledging the others’ presence other than in a passing glance.

It’s funny when your life changes. When you shift gears. When you become a grown-up… It feels like yesterday that I was celebrating my 21st birthday; taking shots and dancing in a cage at a gay bar. Having children wasn’t even within the realm of feasible to me then. Now, my schedule is determined based on nap time and whether I have enough cereal puffs and juice to last an outing of more than an hour.

It’s not a bad change.. Just sort of surreal. Inside I feel like I always have; young, silly, just me. But outside? I’m a mom. Invisible to some and a reflection of others. A glimpse into the future, or a warning sign of what someone never wants to be.

Really, I’d take the sippy cups over the shots any day of the week.

Most of the time.

Christmas Flash Mob

This? Coolest. Thing. Ever. This gave me goosebumps. Just once in my lifetime, I would like to be a witness to a flashmob.

Nellie? Meet Christmas.

Clearly, she is thrilled.

Turkey Day

Today was Nellie’s very 1st Thanksgiving “on the outside”. This time last year I was massive with baby. I remember being so excited to eat my brains out, only to find that I was so pregnant there just wasn’t that much room in my belly!

This year, our 10 month old decided to boycott a morning nap. She toughed it out, though she wasn’t really interested in sampling any Thanksgiving cuisine.

Our tree is up, I baked some Christmas cookies (they’re not the best thing ever. I think I need more practice) and we’re about to settle in for our annual viewing of the Best Christmas Movie Ever: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation! Pics will be coming of our holiday decor soon, so stay tuned. To everyone to celebrates, Happy Thanksgiving and to my friends in other countries, it’s almost Friday. Yay!

Christmas Rabies

I’ve been possessed.

I’ve been possessed by the Holiday Spirit. It’s taken ahold of me, and I am pretty sure that I need an old priest, and a young priest.

I’ve always really enjoyed the holidays, the Christmas season in particular. For me, it’s never been about the religious aspect of the holiday because I’m not a Christian. For me it’s about childhood memories, decorating the tree, family, food, music.. The feeling in the air of excitement, the lights, the snow…. Well, not so much the snow anymore since I live in the South but you get the idea.

I mentioned in a previous post that I never, under any circumstance, decorate before Thanksgiving nor do I listen to Christmas music. For the past few years, I’ve kicked off the holiday festivities by decorating the tree the evening of Thanksgiving after we’ve come home, and watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. I will not watch the movie during any other time of year. Just hearing the opening credits puts a smile on my face.

I don’t know if it’s because this is my first year as a mother and I want to make the holiday season as special to me as it is to my daughter but I’ve been chomping at the bit for Christmas to get here ever since seeing adorable Christmas piggy banks at Target back in October. I salivate at the thought of cutesy little snowman knickknacks perched upon my counters. I squeal at the sight of decorative hand towels for my kitchen (which I’ve already forbidden anyone from actually using). I think I’ve come down with Christmas Rabies. There’s practically red and green foam frothing from my mouth whenever I set foot in Target (Christmas Rabies is different than normal rabies.. You don’t need any shots in the stomach, and really the only side effect is that you smell like candy canes and hear nothing but Christmas music playing in your head for a month straight).

I’ve already broken my own rules about decorating and today? I caved in to pressure and listened to the Christmas station on the radio that’s been live since right after Halloween. I heard my favorite Christmas song, “Happy XMas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and I just said screw it and blasted the radio and sang along.

I know I should respect the bird and all, and I will do plenty of respecting tomorrow when I’m gobbling it down (gobbling it down.. get it?) but I just can’t help it. Christmas Rabies have infected me, and I’m seeing the world through red-and-green-tinted glasses.

Hallelujah, Holy Shit!
Where’s the Tylenol?


Hands-down one of the funniest things I have ever seen. My favorite part is where the woman is talking about the goldfish crackers and the nutso mom says, “Those would make my children want to vomit.” and “I have never left my children. Ever.” and the part where they debate about vaccinations?


How many moms have you run across like blonde mom??!!

Feed Your Inner Rock Star (Pizza)

Do you order pizza?

Sure you do. Everyone loves pizza. Even when it’s bad pizza, pizza is still good. Unless there’s something weird on it, like pineapple & ham or anchovies. Then it is lame and gross. So I lied, not all pizza is good.

Aaaaanyway. Have you discovered the absolute joy, glee, and convenience of ordering pizza online? I have a weird anxiety about talking to people on the phone (and in person, but that’s a story for another post) so I mostly order pizza online. It began with Papa John’s but now Domino’s does it, too. I love ordering pizza online. It’s easy, quick, and I don’t have to talk to a single person.

Two weeks ago, my coworker R and I decided we wanted to split a pizza. I jumped online and ordered a delicious creation known as the Pacific Veggie pizza. This delightful pie has such marvelous ingredients as feta cheese, red peppers, black olives, onions, mushrooms, and unicorn tears.

I ordered our magical unicorn pizza online and once my order was confirmed, it took me to the Online Pizza Tracker and my excitement was amplified tenfold. Have you had the pleasure of tracking YOUR pizza online yet?


From the second your order is submitted, the Pizza Tracker informs you EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH YOUR PIZZA. It tells you when it was put in the oven, and by whom. Then it tells you when it was taken out, when it was being topped, and finally who it was being delivered by and what time they left.

Exciting, yes? IT GETS EVEN BETTER.

They now have THEMES from which you can choose. I chose the “rock star” theme, or some shit like that and ooh’ed and ahh’ed over the layout of my Pizza Tracker. I opened up a new tab on my Firefox browser and continued on with my work, when all of a sudden I hear someone scream at me from my computer,

And I screamed like a sissy girl because it scared the holy living shitballs out of me. I quickly realized it was coming from my Pizza Tracker and when I clicked on the tracker sure enough, it was informing me that my pizza was in the OVVAAAHHNN. I minimized the window again and resumed my work. I began hearing random explosions and sizzling noises coming from my speakers. Like any sane person would do, I immediately thought that my speakers were catching fire and would burn my entire office and everyone in it. Alarmed, I examined them and realized that, again.. Pizza Tracker. It’s lucky there’s no fire extinguisher nearby because my desk probably would have been covered in a white, foamy, mess(THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! HA!).

Each time the Tracker would reach a new status (YOUR PIZZA’S OUT OF THE OVAAAAHNNN YEEEAAHH) it would scream at me and make explosion noises. In between the pizza going from being prepped, to the oven, to out of the oven my speakers would emit random hissing and sizzling noises.

I’d like to say that the experience was made of awesome but really, it just kind of freaked me out and made me wonder why I was being screamed at about the status of my feta cheese-covered fairy pizza.

There are other themes to choose from. I think one of them had a man and woman embracing so god only knows WHAT kind of sounds will come from THAT one.


I think that, perhaps, my festive holiday tablecloth is a bit too large for my table. What say you, readers?

I normally don’t even dream of putting up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. However, we went to Wal-Mart tonight and picked up a few. My husband ripped into the tablecloth, and I gasped at him.
“It’s not Thanksgiving yet!”
He just looked at me. I looked at him. We were both thinking the same thing.
Do we dare put up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving?

Clearly, we dared. I now have a few Christmas knickknacks merrily on display and there will be more to come. I am ridiculously excited for the coming holiday season and have been insanely eager to decorate.. Something I’m not usually overly zealous about.

What about you? Do you decorate before Thanksgiving? Are your lights and tree already up?

Nellie Rose – 10 Months

Happy 10 month birthday to my beautiful Nellie Rose!

Today, we went to the zoo. Mama forgot the camera but snapped a few photos with the phone..

Nellie + Tamarin = BFF

Nellie + Snake = Also BFFs

You weren’t very interested in a whole lot, and not a lot of the animals were out unfortunately. You were sort of interesting in the goats at the petting zoo even though you didn’t touch them. I think we’ll give it a few more months and go back to see if you enjoy yourself a little more.

Nellie, it’s hard to believe that it’s been 10 months since you came into our lives. It seems like forever ago and just yesterday all at the same time. Sometimes I look at you and still can’t believe that you’re really and truly mine! You get bigger and more beautiful every day.

You had your 9 month appointment yesterday (a month late.. oops) and weighed in at 19 pounds, 10 ounces. You are 28 inches long, and the doctor gave us the OK to start introducing cow’s milk to you after testing your iron and hemoglobin levels. You are still army-crawling but you’re getting on your hands and knees more and taking a few small crawls before realizing that your way is faster, and dropping onto your tummy to scoot.

You can now go from laying down to sitting with zero problems. You can get to your knees, and you are going to start pulling up on a regular basis any day now. You are so very close! You still say “da da” and today, daddy and I swear that you said “cat” when pointing at our cats. It was more like “act” but we really do think you were trying to say cat.

Nellie, you never cease to amaze me. I am so in love with you, and I love every second of being your mama.

I love you to the moon and back, more than there are stars in the sky.