Blogging Laryngitis

Lately I feel as if I’ve been losing my voice. Not my speaking or singing voice, but my blogging voice. I feel like I’m losing a grip on my blog, on my writing and I’m not sure how to wrap my fingers back around it. It’s intangible; a feeling more of an actual thing. I think it stems from the fact that since I changed names, I’ve lost traffic. Comments are down. I have a handful of people who loyally comment (THANK. YOU.) but I feel like my blogging voice is going unheard.I lost 4 Facebook fans in the past week and it’s got me really down in the dumps. I know, I know, blogging isn’t all about the traffic but it’s nice to know that people are reading what I’m taking the time to write.

Maybe I just don’t have anything to say that anyone wants to hear? Maybe I’m having a blogging identity crisis. What is my blog for? It used to be my outlet to vent my sadness and anger toward my miscarriage, and then a place where I documented our struggles to conceive again and the heartbreak that came with it.

I had so much to say during my pregnancy. Funny things. Irrelevant things. Touching things and now that my precious daughter is here? I feel like I’ve gotten Blogging Laryngitis. My life is pretty typical of most moms with children my daughter’s age.. I work, I drive my husband to work, I shuttle Nellie about to and fro.. Occasionally crazy or funny things happen that I blog about..

But what do I blog for? There’s only so many sappy letters to my daughter that I can write before even I want to puke. I’m no photographer, I am not crafty nor thrifty, and I couldn’t care less about fashion. So what do I blog about? What is my niche? I’m constantly questioning myself: “Do I blog too much? Do I not blog enough? Are my posts too long? Should I include more pictures? What is the perfect time of day to post to get the most comments? Will NaBloMoPo get me more readers? Make me lose some? Will giveaways make people love me?” It’s enough to drive anyone crazy. Part of me wants to drop NaBloPoMo.. But I’ve had several projects on this blog that I’ve done and have let fall to the wayside, that I absolutely have to finish this one. Even if it makes my traffic drop and my readership fall.. I have to finish it.

Am I the only one out there who feels as if they are tapping the microphone and saying, “Is this thing on”? This post isn’t me fishing for compliments, or trying to get people to comment and tell me how much they love my little slice of Internets. I guess it’s just me being honest and confessing that sometimes I wonder if I’m accomplishing anything at all by writing here. I want to say something earth-shattering.. Ground-breaking.. I want to write one post that people share over the internet and say, “Wow. What a voice. What a writer. This must be read!”………I want to be influential. It’s so easy to get lost in this vast, seemingly endless sea of bloggers. Sometimes, I just feel like I’m lost at sea, waiting… For what, I don’t know. Just… waiting.