Memetastic Award

So, I’m not huge on blog awards these days. When I got my first way back when, I almost shit my pants. I was like HOLY FUCK, SOMEONE GAVE ME AN AWARD. Then I got more, and there was like this big bloggy love award party which is great, but then I stopped doing them because when I’d pick who I wanted to pass the award to I would seriously feel anxious because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by leaving them out. It was just a big fucking headache so I stopped.


This award is too epic and hilarious to NOT share. I’m honored to be the recipient of this beauty:

This amazing piece of internet art was given to me by The Mom Adventures.

Here are the rules & shit:

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don’t have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It’s so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there’s even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It’s horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we’re creating here. If you need a higher resolution version… I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we’ll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we’re just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don’t go crazy trying to think of stuff, you’ll see by the example I’ve set below that we’re not really interested in quality here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don’t like or don’t really have much of an opinion about. I don’t care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don’t really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don’t know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I’ll leave you alone. I’m serious. I’m going to do these things. Starting with the 5 of you I’m about to pass this award on to.

Here are my lies (and 1 truth):

  1. One of my hobbies includes juggling baby geese.
  2. I cannot drive a stick shift.
  3. I have an irrational fear of cotton balls.
  4. I’m on my second marriage.
  5. My best friend in middle school was a street-wise cat named Manny.

Other Lucky Recipients

I’m tagging some people, please don’t get offended if you’re not on this list. If you’re not here, it clearly means I hate your rotten guts.

  1. Salt Says
  2. Me As a Mommy
  3. Blahggy
  4. Mommy, Lost in Translation
  5. Stay at Home Babe

If I didn’t tag you, you can send your hate letters to I love a lot of bloggers and I’d be here all effing day if I tagged all of you bitches.

I’m out. Have a fantastic Sunday and don’t take the lord’s name in vain. Or something. I don’t know. I’m leaving now.