You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Nellie has a ride-on toy that we dubbed Murder.

Nellie and Murder. Watch yourself.

Why did we name a pink and purple princess ride-on toy Murder?


Anyway, she has recently mastered the ability to get on and off Murder without our assistance. Sometimes she climbs on backward. She hasn’t gotten the hang of scooting along by herself, so usually she screams at us until we bend to her will like the good minions parents we are, and push her around our small apartment. Over and over. Until our backs hurt.

Nellie also has another toy with wheels. It’s a Little People carriage and it looks like this:

This toy is clearly for transporting blocks, princes and princesses, and
sometimes, the Incredible Hulk:


It is not, however, for transporting little girls named Nellie. This is something that our darling daughter doesn’t understand, because she keeps trying to stand in it. She gets upset and frustrated and starts crying, so one day we decided to try and teach our little girl that you can’t always get what you want, because some things just don’t work. We allowed her to try and ride the princess carriage:

Why isn’t this tiny horse taking me where I want to go?


She soon discovered the flaw in her plan.


You may call us terrible and mean parents for allowing our child to sit on something that is uncomfortable and clearly not meant for a child to sit on while laughing and taking a picture at her discovery of said discomfort. Pff. Like you’ve never taken a picture of your child being traumatized or sobbing. Whatever.

Anyway, I’d like to tell you that Nellie learned her lesson after sitting on that uncomfortable hunk of pink and purple plastic, but I caught her the other day putting her foot inside the carriage and getting really pissed off when she wobbled and fell over. Ah, well. Sometimes you win, and other times your kid repeatedly tries to squeeze her ass onto a Little People horse and carriage.