Texts From My Bestie

Okay, for one thing, I hate the term “bestie”, “bestest”, “biffles” (SERIOUSLY. WHERE THE SHIT DID “BIFFLES” COME FROM? ARE WE TEN YEARS OLD NOW? I’m going to start calling my best friend my Swiffle Wiffy Wuv Wuv Face. Let’s see how fast that catches on.) to describe a person’s best friend, but “Texts From My Bestie” is kind of catchy so I’m selling out and using it. MOVING ALONG.

My real-life best friend and I exchange a lot of text messages. She happens to have an Android, which auto-corrects like an iPhone. We have a lot of really interesting text messages thanks to this fun little feature of her phone. I’ve decided to begin posting regular exchanges between the two of us (with her blessing of course, but even if she didn’t give it I’d probably do it anyway because it’s funny). Here is a conversation between us from earlier this evening:

Me: Nellie has just started walking around on her tiptoes. Cutest ever.
Her: She is going to be a bacteria.
Me: ………………………………………………..
Her: …………Ballerina.

Later on in the evening….

Her: Is her temp down?

Oh, P.S. Nellie has had a fever all day today. Sorry. I should have mentioned that earlier in the post. I’m a terrible storyteller. I suck. She had a fever all day and I stayed home from work to take care of her. She was feeling better when we put her to bed.


Her: Is her temp down?
Me: A little. She’s in bed. It was 102 when she went to sleep.
Her: At least it hasn’t gone up. Maybe a hood night’s rest will help it go down.
Me: Roflmao. Your phone is ON tonight man.
Her: I hate you.

And then she said something else that I’m not going to share here, because I’m not sharing EVERYTHING with you people and I responded:

Me: Roflmnao
Me: ……….. Except without the ‘n’
Her: I think that stands for “rolling on the floor laughing my naked ass off.” Why the fuck are you naked?
Me: You don’t wanna know.

Jealous of our hilarity and awesomeness? You should be. We also work together. Winning.