Shit I Never Thought I’d Say: Part Eighty Five.

I’ve posted about hearing myself utter things I never in a million years though I would hear myself utter before. Now that Nellie is walking, talking, and almost two, I thought I’d post a revised edition of Shit I Thought I’d Never Say. Enjoy.

  • Get that sucker out of your hair.
  • No, we don’t need a Hormel meal, bubbles, a rubber duck, and a Spider-Man hat on this shopping trip. Let’s put them back.
  • Old MacDonald Had A Farm again? Really? Wouldn’t you rather sing something else? No? Awesome.
  • Okay, don’t drink that bathwater, it has bubbles in it.
  • Yeah, the bathwater is yucky. That’s because there’s bubbles in it.
  • Do NOT put that Christmas ornament in your mouth. Sharp! Stabby! OUCH!
  • I know you love the cat but please don’t try and lick him on the face.
  • Don’t draw on the table.
  • Don’t draw on the floor.
  • Kitty doesn’t want you to draw on him.
  • That’s not a boo-boo, that’s your nipple.
  • Oh, you can say ‘nipple’ now. Awesome.
  • Yes, mommy also has nipples.
  • So does daddy.
  • Please don’t try and look at mommy’s nipples while we’re in line at Wal-Mart.
  • Get your hand out of my shirt, you still can’t see mommy’s nipples.
  • Don’t you DARE bite that balloon!
  • *reading a book* What’s that? That’s a sheep. …Still a sheep. ……..Still a sheep. ………….Always going to be a sheep. ………….Hasn’t stopped being a sheep.
  • Ugh. Please don’t put your feet in the popcorn.

What funny things are your kids saying?