Childhood Crushes: The Weird Kid Edition

I’ve blogged about how I was a weird kid before when I divulged my favorite games as a child. I was getting my hair done at my favorite salon last weekend, and we got on the subject of boy bands somehow. One of the stylists was talking about how One Direction is her daughter’s first “boy band” and how that endears them to her somewhat. I got to thinking about MY first boy band, and realized that when N*Sync and Backstreet Boys were popular (I was in my early teenage years), I didn’t give a rat’s ass about them. I actually made fun of them. My first boy band? The Beatles.

Then I got to thinking about how I never had a crush on Justin Timberlake, or Nick Carter. I got to thinking about my early crushes, and figured I’d share them with you so you can either nod your head in agreement because you were/are a weird kid too, or wonder what’s wrong with me. Either way, I hope you enjoy my list.

1. Sam Neill.

sam neill as alan grant from jurassic park

You never forget your first love.

Okay, so, Jurassic Park came out when I was nine. I was obsessed with this movie. I saw it three times in the theater. That’s a LOT for a nine year old kid. This is my earliest memory of a crush. I was madly in love with Sam Neill A.K.A Dr. Alan Grant. My crush on him continued into my teen years, when I fell in love with him again when he played Merlin on that T.V. miniseries that no one remembers. So what if he was like, eighty when I was nine? It was true love.

2. Paul McCartney circa the 1960s.

I stand by this one.

My mother was a bonafide Beatlemaniac. Screaming, wailing, flailing; she was a genuine crazy fangirl. My love for the Beatles was born when they aired the Beatles Anthology on T.V. in 1995. After that, I became a genuine crazy fangirl as well. My favorite Beatle was Paul (it has since changed to John), and I was madly in love with him. Well. I was madly in love with 1960s Paul. I would swoon whenever I watched A Hard Day’s Night and Help!, imagining myself dancing with him and being his girlfriend. I wasn’t into modern-day Paul; just 1960s Paul.

3. Bill Pullman.

Maybe it was his… Er… Or.. His……. I got nothin’.

After Casper came out, I fell deeply in love with Bill Pullman. Why? I don’t even fucking remember. I mean, I guess he’s OK looking? But I was seriously moony over him. I guess I had a thing for older guys, which was kind of foreshadowing because my first real boyfriend was 9 years older than me. Casper leads me into my next crush, who was slightly more age-appropriate..

4. Devon Sawa.

Can I keep you?

What Tween girl in the mid-nineties WASN’T in love with Devon Sawa? Even though he was in like, three movies, he was just gorgeous. Then he was in Idle Hands and kind of looked like a sweaty crack addict, and then he was in Final Destination and died (in the movie, not in real life) and wasn’t attractive anymore. The end.

5. Leonardo DiCaprio.

I stand by this one, too. JUST LOOK AT THAT SMOLDER.

Because, DUH. Titanic came out when I was 13, and I saw that movie SIX TIMES in the theater. SIX. TIMES. That is almost an entire DAY OF MY LIFE that I spent watching that movie. Doesn’t matter. I bawled like a baby every time I watched it, partially because it was sad as fuck and partially because I was really upset that Leo was 9 years older than me and at the time, hadn’t met my older beau. I don’t think he’s so adorable now, but he is one of my favorite actors.

Those were some of my earliest celebrity crushes. As I got older, my taste in men changed. I’ll post about that another time. I’ll tell you this: you might think I’m insane for some of the guys I crushed on when I hit my early twenties.

Who were your first celebrity crushes?