BlogHer Book Club Review: Diary of a Submissive


The latest book I read is described as a “real life Fifty Shades of Grey”. I was hesitant about whether I wanted to read this book – not because I’m a prude or shy away from things sexual in content – but because I know what Fifty Shades is about; I skimmed a few pages on my best friend’s Nook, and I had no desire to read it. One, the subject didn’t appeal to me. Two, it’s fanfic. Three, it’s TWILIGHT fanfic. Two things I despise more than anything are Twilight, and fanfic. Ugh.

I digress. I decided to read this book because of the fact that it was a memoir and not a work of fiction. I thought that, if nothing else, it’d give me a glimpse into a world I knew nothing about: a world where women submitted completely and totally to their “doms” (dominants) in a sexual nature.

WELL, friends. WELL. Let me tell you something about this book. I am hard to shock. Vulgar language and sexual conversations usually don’t phase me but OH MY GOD THIS BOOK.

It’s the true tale of Sophie Morgan (not her real name for OBVIOUS REASONS), a British journalist who happens to like to get the crap beat out of her in the sack. You may chuckle at that, but I’M NOT EXAGGERATING. At first, when she described her first submissive experiences, I was kind of into it. I mean, who doesn’t like a little spanking in the heat of the moment? Oh, I’ve been a bad girl? What? You want to pull my hair? Well, okay. That’s pretty – I’m sorry, did you say you want to hit me with a belt? And a cane – wait, a CANE? Like, as in CANING? LIKE WHAT THEY DID TO THAT KID IN SINGAPORE IN THE ’90s? You’re joking, right?

Sophie described her experiences with being beaten as punishment. With belts, canes, and even a paddle with raised letters to form the word “SLUT” that she allowed a boyfriend to repeatedly whack her with until she was branded. And the entire time she’s describing these things, she reiterated how much she loved it. How much of a turn-on it was for her. I’m sorry, Sophie, but you lost me at “slut paddle”.

This book was actually really difficult for me to finish. I had a very hard time reading about this woman who enjoyed being degraded, beaten, humiliated, and treated like an object. It was fascinating at first, and toward the end I just felt kind of sad for her. I just didn’t understand how she could put up with that, let alone find it a turn-on. I’m not trying to judge her – she’s a consenting adult – but I can’t help but wonder why? Why does she enjoy men treating her like that?

I appreciated Sophie’s honesty and candid writing. She didn’t shy away from graphic details – no “love handle” or “throbbing member” imagery here. She was very explicit. Toward the end, she and her boyfriend had an entire 24 hours of D/s debauchery and the degradation and whipping was so bad, I had to force myself through the last few pages.

If you enjoyed Fifty Shades, I guess you’d probably like this? I’m not really sure, because I haven’t read Fifty Shades myself. If you enjoy being tied to chairs and slapped in the face with a penis, you’d probably enjoy this book or, if you want to peek into the bedroom of someone whose lifestyle is a complete mystery to you – you’d might enjoy this. Personally, I think that I will pour salt over this book and burn it to make sure the spirit of Sophie’s sadistic “dom” doesn’t manifest in my living room and try to brand me with his slut paddle.

DISCLOSURE:  I received both monetary compensation and a copy of Matched for this post as part of the BlogHer Book Club. You can read more about this book or join the discussion by visiting the BlogHer Book Club’s discussion of Diary of a Submissive These thoughts and words are 100% authentic, and 100% my own.