I Win At Cakes

So you know those moms who throw elaborately themed birthday parties, hand make all the favors, sew their kid a birthday outfit, and bake and decorate an amazing looking cake?

Yeah, I’m not that mom. For my kid’s classroom birthday party I bought a 24 pack of mini cupcakes with Valentine’s Day candies on them. Winning!

For some reason, though, I’ve been determined every year to bake Nellie a birthday cake to bring to her family get together. We don’t do anything large or lavish, just her close family members to celebrate her turning another year older.

Here’s the thing: I am terrible at this. The cakes taste fine; I don’t do anything fancier than a yellow cake with chocolate frosting… Though this year I almost went crazy and got Funfetti cake. WATCH OUT! IT’S WACKY IN HERE!

I didn’t, though. I stuck with yellow cake, chocolate icing. I digress. Here are her first and second birthday cakes, side-by-side:

I’ll wait for you to stop laughing before I continue.

Anyway after last year’s disaster attempt, I turned to Pinterest for inspiration for her third birthday cake. I found something that I knew not even I could mess up. It was perfect and simple! Here is the cake:

SOURCE: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brinkenzi/6973386233/

I was confident that I could pull this off. After all, it’s a white cake. With a stencil. Surrounded by festive colorful sprinkles. Easy peasy, right?


My first mistake was waiting until the last second to get the decorating supplies. I took Nellie shopping. Let her pick out the frosting color and the type of sprinkles. Couldn’t find a large “3” stencil. Settled on a wax candle in the shape of a 3 instead. It’ll work out fine! It’ll be great. Cutest ever.

Instead of telling you what went wrong, well… I will just show you.


Okay so seriously, what the fuck happened?  My cake looks like a faerie sneezed all over a pile of mud and then tap danced in the middle of her snot-covered mud pile, leaving teensy footprints smack in the middle of the cake.

Maybe next year I will just buy a cake. Yes? Yes. But I probably won’t, because I obviously don’t learn from my mistakes. The best part of all of this?

My kid didn’t even want to eat the damn cake.



  1. If you’re feeling ambitious next year, I decorate cakes using this recipe: http://whatscookingamerica.net/PegW/Fondant.htm and they turn out pretty well. It’s like playing with playdough you can eat, super fun, and she could help. :)

  2. When my oldest nephew turned 2, my sister had just given me a cake decorating kit for Christmas. She asked me if I wanted to decorate his cake and I was all, “SURE!” She gave me some Cars characters she had bought to go on the cake and I set out to decorate a large sheet to serve my family, my sister’s husband’s family, & some friends. Oh my LORD, it was awful. I didn’t bother to “practice” first, and I had to serve the blasted thing to people that didn’t really even know me. My sister’s brother-in-law TOOK PHOTOS of it!!!! My sweet dad, though, said, “I thought it came from the bakery!” Sigh. I did learn eventually, but only after MANY ugly tantrums! Decorating cakes is hard :(
    Mary recently posted..Poblanos-January 26, 2013

  3. Maybe it makes you feel better (or does it make you feel worse?) to know that I just laughed until real tears happened. So at least the cake was good for cheering people up? Yeah? Can I pin this? hahahahahah
    Candice recently posted..penelope.

  4. For my birthdays, my mom was always able to make these pretty cakes with the perfect frosting and an amazing taste.

    When I make cakes, they look as they a five-year-old was left alone in the kitchen for far too long. They taste good, but boy are they ugly.
    Robyn Webb recently posted..This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (How My Sisters and I Destroyed a Five-Star Hotel)

  5. I love your description of cake #3…made my Monday morning. :-)

  6. haha, I’ve seen this on pinterest, and I knew it couldn’t be that easy! The thing I’ve seen on pinterest that might actually be useful is using a toothpick to write on a cake, and then trace that with icing. It doesn’t fix bad handwriting, but it’s a lot easier to ‘erase’ and start over.
    _emily_rose recently posted..#travel2013 – denver

  7. This is AWESOME! (i would have eaten the cake, btw)
    LDiggitty recently posted..I got an email from myself from 2008!

  8. I thought the sprinkle cake was an awesome idea and I planned to steal it for the Punkin’s birthday this month. However, we got donuts the other day and she asked me to pick the sprinkles off hers. Seems she’s going through an anti-sprinkle stage. So much for the cake idea.

  9. I found you on the Bloggy Moms list – THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! thanks for a much needed laugh today :)

  10. OMG I just laughed until I cried…….

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge