My First 5k!

Hi friends!

Today was the day of my first 5k! I got up bright and early and headed downtown with my teammates to the Color Me Rad 5k!

I wasn’t sure what to expect. Last week I took my run outside for the first time and it was ridiculously hard, and I ended up not being able to run as much as I had been able to on a treadmill. I decided I would just play it by ear and do my best.

Long story short – I did not jog the entire way but I DID jog more than I walked! I ended with a time of about 44 minutes, which comes out to about a 14-ish minute mile. I am not unhappy with my time at all and the most important thing is that I had SO MUCH FUN. So much fun, in fact, that once it was over I immediately wanted to do it again.

Here are some photos from the day!


I have decided to re-start C25k but run outside only. I’m thinking about downloading a zombie training app – one that’s kind of like a game, and you run from zombies, and can hear them chasing you and stuff. Because who WOULDN’T run from that? It’s also appropriate considering my goal of running the Run For Your Lives race in September!

If you are thinking about doing a color 5k but aren’t sure – DO. IT. You DON’T have to run the whole thing. You don’t have to run ANY of it. But I promise – you will have SO MUCH FUN.

I Will Unfollow You on Instagram.

Fresh on the heels of my “I Will Unfriend you on Facebook” post, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and was inspired to write yet another stabby ranty FULL OF RAGE post about how to get unfollowed on Instagram.

Instagram is an interesting social media platform. It’s where you can go to feel better about the photos you take, thanks to the handy filters they let you apply to the photos. Does that selfie you just took of yourself make it look like you haven’t slept in a week (because you have children and YOU HAVEN’T SLEPT IN A WEEK?) no worries – Earlybird is here to the rescue. Do you need to make that beer bottle look extra cool and edgy? Slap a little Lo-Fi on it and you’re good to go.

Anyway, Instagram is awesome but there are those out there who just don’t seem to get it. Here are the easiest ways to get yourself ditched from my feed forever.

Be a Selfie Whore. I get it. You like your face. And your hair. And your makeup. And taking shots of half your face to show your inner angst, or what the fuck ever. If 75% of your Instagram photos are OF YOUR FACE, I will fucking unfollow you. I KNOW what you look like by now, because every third picture I scroll past IS OF YOU. Post a picture of that cool building you saw on your walk, that angry duck you thought about feeding but didn’t for fear of your life, or a cute shot of your kid running from the duck as it got angry at the lack of bread – but for fuck’s sake, don’t post four pictures of you before, during, and after said walk. UNFOLLOW.

Spam My Feed. I follow about 200 people on Instagram but sometimes, you wouldn’t know it, because there are a few folks who will post about ten photos IN A ROW. Photo 1: selfie. Photo 2: selfie, different angle. Photo 3: daughter. Photo 4: daughter, different angle, duck face (DIE), and peace sign fingers. Photo 5: screencap of text with best friend. Photo 6: blurry Facetime screencap with daughter with duckface (DIE) and peace sign fingers. ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER. OH, MY, GOD. SERIOUSLY. STOP WITH THE PHOTOS! This is NOT what Instagram is for! Give other people the chance to post pictures on my feed for crying out loud. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT MY FRIENDS ARE EATING, AND YOUR DUCKFACES ARE CLOGGING EVERYTHING UP. UNFOLLOW.

Post Photos You Didn’t Take. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Instagram for sharing photos that you took with your own camera? I don’t need to see that meme of Grumpy Cate with the Mayfair filter applied to it. HE’S STILL GRUMPY. If you want to share memes, use Facebook. Or Twitter. Or Pinterest. NOT INSTAGRAM. Instagram is for posting photos and then feeling absolutely horrible about yourself & your creative abilities if you get less than 15 likes. UNFOLLOW.

Make Your Life Seem Like You Eat Rainbows for Breakfast and Have a Pet Unicorn that Gives You Unlimited Luck and Fortune. I am all for positivity. I love happy pictures, cute kids, running puppies, and all that jazz. But if every single one of your photos is cutesy and saccharine and accompanied by “LUV THIS KID” or “SO BLESSED!” captions to the point where it makes me want to vomit uncontrollably into a plastic bag, UNFOLLOW. No one’s life is that perfect and happy – NO ONE. Not saying you have to air dirty laundry in public, gripe about your life, or anything like that but come on. Show me something real. Not something fake because you’re afraid of being judged for having like, three glasses of wine after your 3 year old dumps shampoo on your EVERYTHING. No judgments here – I am drinking a glass of wine right now.  UNFOLLOW.

Post Nothing But Pictures of Your Child/Dog/Cat/Hair/Necklaces/Feet/Eyeballs. VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE. Do you want to eat plain oatmeal every day? NO YOU FUCKING DON’T. Neither do I. Throw some cinnamon in that oatmeal and by oatmeal, I mean your Instagram feed. Take a photo of that cool ass flower you saw! Snap a picture of your froyo. Catch your kid on camera doing something cute. But for the love of God, stop posting the same shit over and over again. No one cares that much about your shoes or eyeballs except for you. I don’t follow you so I can look at picture after picture of your necklaces and feet. I follow you because I’m a fucking crazy person who likes to look into the lives of other people and so far, your life is your cat, a necklace, an eyeball and YOUR GODDAMN TOES. You are the most boring person to stalk ever and I’m going to go hide in someone else’s bushes now.

Post Phots of Gross Things. I will unfollow you on Instagram if you post pictures of: Dead pets. Chicken feet. Open wounds. Infected shit. Animal tongues that you’re planning on eating. Your teeth. Your toenails (unless they’re painted and cute). Dog slobber. A closeup of your sweaty-ass face. Spiders of ANY KIND.
SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE. ALL OF THAT SHIT IS GROSS. Instagram your food AFTER it’s cooked. Take pictures of your pets WHILE THEY ARE STILL BREATHING. I don’t need to see that time you chopped your damn finger off and had to get eleventy million stitches. And your teeth? I HAVE TEETH. THEY LIVE IN MY HEAD,  AND THAT MEANS I  DON’T NEED TO SEE YOURS.
By the way, all of the items mentioned above are actual photos I have seen in my Instagram feed. UNFOLLOW.

Do you have an Instagram? What are your biggest pet peeves?

17 Down

I am about a week and a half out from my first 5k. I’m a little behind schedule on C25k, which kind of sucks. Originally I began it with enough time to practice running a 5k for about a week before the actual run, but it’s looking now like I may not finish the program before then. I am still going to do my best and give it all I’ve got.

Last week I had to run 20 straight minutes. I’m not gonna lie – it was hard. I failed the first time. The second time I did it, but only by decreasing my pace pretty much the entire time. I have been jogging at 4.8 MPH for a few weeks now. I ran the first 8 minutes at my usual speed and then turned it down to 4.4 for the rest of the time. I’m not very happy with that, but everything I have read about running says not to focus on your speed but your ability to finish and keep going, that you can focus on speed later. So, I’ve been trying to remember not to run myself too hard and listen to my body.

I decided to start taking progress photos. I took my first set the other day. I am down 17 pounds in this picture, which kind of makes me cringe because clearly, I have a lot of work to do. That just means I was really heavy. I’m kind of glad I don’t have any starting pictures. When I began tracking my calories on December 17th, 2012 I weighed 209 pounds. This is me on March 18th, 2013 at 192.

Like I said, I have a long way to go but I am happy with my progress so far. I am down 17 pounds in 13 weeks, and that’s pretty awesome. 7 weeks ago, when I began C25k, I could barely run for a full minute and now I’m up to 20. That is also pretty awesome.


BlogHer Book Club Review: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

I have been reading The Bloggess since 2008, when my friend Megan introduced me to her through this post, which is an open letter to her husband (this post also made it as a chapter in her book). I laughed so hard I cried. Ever since then, Jenny The Bloggess has been my writing/blogging/funny lady idol. IDOL. When I was given the chance to review her book (I’m a horrible fan, really, for not picking up a copy sooner) I was so excited.

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is Jenny’s memoir of her unusual experiences so far in her life. She writes about growing up poor in the beautiful city of Wall, Texas (where’s Wall?), her taxidermist father who often brought home truckfuls of bloody animal pelts, the time she was stabbed in the face by a serial killer, and her pet raccoon, Rambo.

This book is laugh-out-loud funny. It is also a very honest look into the ways Jenny has had to deal with issues with social anxiety, depression, feeling like a misfit, multiple miscarriages, and other things that aren’t so light-hearted in nature. She writes with an honesty that I admire so much.

One of the things I love most about her is her openness and willingness to talk about things that not everyone wants to talk about. She is one of the reasons I am also so open here on my blog. Jenny has always made me feel like less of a misfit because she shows me that there ARE other people out there who are socially awkward, who have the same sense of humor that I do, and who swear and are still successful writers (this book was a New York Times #1 Bestseller, y’all.)

If you haven’t read Jenny’s blog, do it now and go ahead and just buy a copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened – you won’t regret that you did.

DISCLOSURE: I received both monetary compensation plus a copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened for this post as part of the BlogHer Book Club. You can read more about this book or join the discussion by visiting the BlogHer Book Club’s discussion of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. I really do read The Bloggess and she is truly my funny lady writing idol.  These thoughts and words are 100% authentic, and 100% my own.

I Will Unfriend You on Facebook.

A DISCLAIMER:  This post is going to be snarky and ranty. SO if you have come looking for sunshine and rainbows and skittle milkshakes, what the fuck are you doing here? Have you ever READ my blog before? Go on Pinterest and look at some cats playing with yarn or some shit. Also – skittle milkshakes? Really? That’s disgusting.

Still here? Okay, good. This post is about things that will get you unfriended by me on Facebook. Now I KNOW that Facebook posts are a two-way street. I know that not everything I post is a favorite of every single person I am friends with. I know that people probably get tired of me posting about my runs, Barack Obama, vodka, and Downton Abbey. That’s fine. If they don’t like it, THEY can unfriend ME. I don’t give a damn. So before you go getting all “I CAN POST WHAT I WANT ON MAH FACEBOOK WALL IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT DON’T LOOK”, I am just saying: if you would like to remain my friend on Facebook, refrain from doing any of the following things:

Post Animal Abuse Pictures. HOLY FUCK, Y’ALL. If I see one more damn picture of an emaciated dog, or sobbing cat, or guinea pig with half a body and the rest of its body attached to some kind of tiny guinea pig wheelchair (… actually that might be kind of awesome. That’s like the Professor Xavier of guinea pigs) I’m going to scream. And then drive to the house of the person who posted the picture of Scruffy the Ribcage Dog and scream obscenities at them. And then I will unfriend them. Because seriously, folks. I know animals get abused. It sucks. It makes me sad. But for crying out loud: I DON’T NEED TO SEE THAT SHIT. And I know that some activists would argue, “But you don’t really GET IT, man, unless you see it”. WRONG. I get it. AND I STILL DON’T NEED TO SEE THAT SHIT. Post all you want about your Schmoopsy Poo cat, or that lost dog in Texas – that’s fine. But stop it with the abuse pictures. Really.

Repeatedly Post Memes/Images that Are Grammatically Incorrect or Have Ridiculous Misspellings. I don’t care how much I agree with something. There could be a meme going around that is a picture of gay men getting married while riding unicorns to Barack Obama’s house and then Mumford & Sons is in the background playing the new husband & husband a song. If it’s got big blocky letters on it that says: “CELEBRATE THERE MARRIAGE” I will fucking scream and throw something across the room. And NOT SHARE THAT AWESOME PICTURE. So if you repeatedly share pictures with stupid spelling errors on them, UNFRIEND. Bad grammar makes me hurt in the brain.

Excessive Amounts of Republican Propaganda. I have Republican friends. Really, I do.  I get that not everyone sees eye-to-eye. But I am a Liberal. My heart gets more and more bloody the older I get. I believe in equality for all, help for those who need it, that everyone should pay their fair share, and in affordable health care. If someone consistently posts sentiments that vehemently oppose everything I believe in, I will unfriend. And you know what? I completely understand if someone wants to do that to me. Really.

Passive-Aggressive/Vague/Constantly Negative/Partner-Bashing Posts. “Feeling so sad and depressed right now but I don’t want to talk about it so don’t ask”.
Really? REALLY. Okay, seriously. Why do people do this? I understand wanting to reach out for help, I understand feeling sad and lonely. But if you don’t want to talk about it… DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. The passive-aggressive and vague posts drive me insane.The negative ones are another one. And before you think I’m heartless, I am obviously not referring to times of tragedy and hardships. But if every other post is griping about how awful your day was, how much your life sucks, how hard you’ve got it… Come on. Post a rainbow once in a while. And the partner-bashing? That is some high school shit. Please don’t air your dirty laundry and bash your significant other on FACEBOOK. Wait until they come home and scream in their face like a normal person. Stop putting it out there for all of your friends to see. We are not 16 years old, y’all. Unless you are 16. And then, you still shouldn’t do that. It’s not nice. GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

Posting Spoilers. Listen, y’all. I love TV Shows and movies. And I love to be surprised by the twists and turns that the plots throw my way. I deliberately DON’T TRY AND FIGURE SHIT OUT because I want to be surprised. So when I log on to Facebook early in the morning and one of the first things I see in my feed is a big, fat, Downton Abbey spoiler? I KIND OF WANT TO MURDER YOU IN YOUR FACE. I understand that season 3 is over and has been for a few weeks, but there are some of us without cable. Some of us can only watch it via Amazon. This one, as shallow as it may seem, is the FASTEST way for me to unfriend you. Because if you will post one spoiler, you will post more.

Okay so now my rant is over and you all probably think I’m a crazy and irritable bitch, but in case you don’t, what are the quickest ways to get you to unfriend someone on Facebook?

How I Get My Kid to Like Cool Music

One of the cutest things ever is listening to a small child sing. It is precious. It is adorable. But let’s face it: there are only so many times one can hear “The Wheels on the Bus” before they start to feel slightly homicidal.

I made Nellie a Spotify playlist a few weeks ago and loaded it with her favorite Disney songs from Tangled, The Princess and the Frog, The Lion King, and a few other movies. She loved it so much, and it made me feel so happy to see her singing along each morning on the way to daycare.

And then I heard “When Will My Life Begin?” one too many times and wanted to dig my eardrums out with a bobby pin. So I got to thinking: how can I get my child to like cool music – the music I like? I decided I’d give the songs names that would appeal to her. Here are a few of Nellie’s favorite songs from my playlists, along with the “fun names” I gave them:

  1. Little Lion Man A.K.A. “The Lion Song”. Okay, so this might not be the most appropriate song for her to listen to (“I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I my dear?” being one of the lyrics), but it was one of the first songs I introduced her to that wasn’t sung by a chirpy-ass princess.
  2. Wake Up, Little Susie A.K.A “Wake Up Little Kitty”. Nellie is obsessed with cats. OBSESSED. She has this small stuffed cat I brought her from Chicago. One morning, she came to me and said, “Mama, tell this baby kitty to WAKE UP!” I started singing “Wake up, little kitty, wake up!”. Once we got to the car, I turned that song on and sang it like I just had and now it’s her favorite song to sing.
  3. These Boots Are Made For Walking A.K.A “A Song About Boots”. I told her it was a song about boots and started laughing hysterically at how silly that was. It worked.
  4. The Age of Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In A.K.A “The Moon Song”. “When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter lines with Mars” is the first line. So I told her it was a song about the moon. I also told her that her zodiac sign is Aquarius and that the song was pretty much all about her. Which might be a lie. It’s really about hippies and probably LSD.
  5. Brand New Key A.K.A “The Rollerskate Song” Told her it was a song about rollerskates. I’m not sure she even knows what rollerskates are, but she loves this song. It is kind of awkward, though, because all I can think of when I hear this song is that one scene in Boogie Nights. I’m also relatively sure that “I’ve got a brand new pair of rollerskates, you’ve got a brand new key, I think that we should get together and try them out, you see” isn’t REALLY talking about rollerskates and the key that goes with it. AMIRIGHT?
  6. Radioactive A.K.A “The Toothless Song” This one might be my most creative. Radioactive is a song by Imagine Dragons. Nellie loves “How to Train Your Dragon”, specifically the dragon Toothless. So I told her the song was about Toothless.
    I am a liar. The song isn’t about Toothless at all.
  7. Cocaine Habit This one has no alternate name.  She just started singing it one day. Again, not the most appropriate song but Josh and I love some Old Crow Medicine Show, sooooo…… Plus, you have to admit, there is something funny about hearing a three-year-old sing “sign on the door that says ‘no more dope’!”. Or is that just me? Just me? Awesome.

The downside to this, of course, is that once she fixates on a song she insists on playing it over and over and over. The fact that these songs are ones I enjoy make hearing them on repeat slightly more tolerable than the Disney songs, but I’ve about had it with the Everly Brothers and “Wake Up Little Susie”. LET LITTLE SUSIE SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. No more Little Susie.

What are your kids’ favorite songs?


The Worst Things About Living in an Apartment

I was inspired to write this post while sitting on my couch and listening to the loud ass mofos outside screeching with wanton Friday night glee. SHUT UP, ASSHOLES, AND STOP REMINDING THE REST OF US THAT WE ARE OLD AND IN PAJAMAS AT 9 P.M. ON A FRIDAY.

Here are the worst things about living in an apartment, in no particular order, because I’m lazy.

1. That awkward moment when you cross paths with someone in the hallway that you’ve seen coming and going for the entire 3 years you’ve lived there but don’t know their name. “Oh hi… You…! How’s that…. Dog…cat? Child? Of yours? OK BYE”

2. Hearing the shower upstairs run at the same time that you are taking a shower. Both of you are naked right now. Eeeewww.

3. Worrying about a fire. What if those damn rock n’ roll loving heathen kids upstairs leave their bong on? EVERYONE IS INCINERATED. THANKS A LOT, CAPTAIN DOOBIE OF THE U.S.S. REEFER.

4. My goddamn upstairs neighbors and their elephant-dog. I’M SERIOUS. This thing is a magical creature. A freak of nature that shouldn’t exist. I will catch a rare glimpse of it in the mornings as it’s pissing outside. It looks like a sweet little boxer pup. Aside from this dog’s morning tinkles, it only awakens between the hours of 11 P.M. and 1 A.M. and when it does, it is suddenly an elephant. That’s tap dancing. With shoes made of lead.  And then it throws bowling balls across the floor.  HOW IS THIS DOG SO LOUD? Sometimes, I think the residents themselves start on one side of the room and run, full-speed, to the other only to crash into the wall and onto the floor. *stompstompstompstompBANGTHUD*

5. The swimming pool. I took Nellie to the swimming pool last summer and she loved it. I loved it! Fun pool times for everyone! Then I went swimming in my sister-in-law’s pool, and realized that her water doesn’t have a weird oily film on the top of it. Wait, you mean all swimming pools don’t make you itchy after you get out of them? MY SUMMER WAS MADE OF LIES.

6. Sharing physical space with someone when you are checking your mail. Those little mail areas are tiny, and I always dread having to walk into the little hallway when someone else is there. It’s even worse when their mailbox is near mine. I don’t like making small talk – it doesn’t come naturally to me – so I just give them this weird awkward creeper half-smile and avert my eyes to the ground. What the hell am I supposed to say anyway? “Ohhhh, cable bill, huh? What do you watch? Oh, really? Honey Boo Boo? Eeeerrrrr….. I left my humidifier on and I think it’s burning my apartment down.”

7. People who park thisclose to your car. All I can say about that is this: A;SLKDJF;ALDFJ;LAWUOI4UTAKJGMDN,N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. Bugs. Let’s face it, even if you keep a clean place, you are sharing a building with many other people who may not be as tidy as you. Sometimes, bugs happen and sometimes, they make you piss your pants because they’re so close to the light switch when you reach around your door to turn on the light at 2 A.M., you almost touch them and their revolting little exoskeletons from hell. ….I mean ….

9. You don’t really know the “history” of your apartment. Who knows what could be hidden in the walls? Cockroaches, mold, fungus, dust, bodies – there is just no telling.

10. Drunk college people stumbling home at 2 A.M. and screaming at each other. Hey, guys. I get it. I used to be you, believe it or not. Just because I sit at home on the weekends in my oversized a capella chorus shirts and watch Downton Abbey doesn’t mean I was always lame as shit. And really, I’m not THAT lame. I love that Thrift Shop song, and I am pretty sure that makes me cool. But seriously, folks. PIPE THE FUCK DOWN IT’S 2 A.M. AND MY CHILD IS SLEEPING. IF YOU WAKE HER UP I WILL BASH YOUR KNEECAPS WITH HER TOY SWORD. LET’S SEE YOU EVACUATE THE DANCE FLOOR WITH BROKEN KNEES.

Those are my least favorite things about living in an apartment. What are yours?


What Would Michonne Do?

You should be excited, because this is yet another post about running.

If you don’t want to read another post about running, here’s another goat-screaming video.

These videos, unlike the Harlem Shake which I was obsessed with for about a day and a half, will NEVER GET OLD. EVER.

If you’re still here, I’m going to keep talking about running. So I’m on week 5 of C25k. Day 1 was easy enough, and day 2 scared me. It was an 8 minute (or 3/4 mile, whichever came first) jog, followed by a 5 minute (or 1/2 mile) walk, and then another 8 minute jog. I was scared. I wasn’t sure I could do it, as the longest period I had run before that was 5 minutes. I mean hell, that’s a three minute increase (just in case you can’t add. No judgments, third grade math level represent).

I originally said I was going to reward a 20 pound weight loss (still 6 pounds away) with a new pair of good running shoes. After careful consideration, I decided to bypass the wait and just buy some. I went to an athletic store and got measured, tried on about 6 pairs of shoes that the salesperson recommended after watching me walk and getting a little bit of running history, and before I knew it I was dropping more money than I would like to think about on my very first pair of running shoes.

That’s either the sound of a choir of angels singing, or my wallet crying. I’m not sure which yet. They are Saucony Hurricane 15’s, if you are curious.

I got to the gym, strapped them on, and could not believe the difference from simply walking in them. I was suddenly excited about my run. I won’t bore you with the details so long story short – I did it. Those 8 minute jogs? Not that difficult. Don’t get me wrong; those last two minutes were rough. I flipped my timer so I couldn’t see it, and just ran until my app told me it was time to walk. When I finished, I was drenched in sweat and was so proud of myself I was actually grinning like an idiot during my last minute.

After my run I did a little bit of strength training, including a core/ab/murder-cise that I saw Michonne on the Walking Dead do. She made it look super easy so I tried it. Let’s just say I am not as badass as she is, because I did five reps of what she did and then when I tried to do another set, my muscles were like LOL NO. Seriously, I tried to flex my ab muscles and they wouldn’t budge. I could barely get up off the floor. Every time I tried, I’d get my shoulders off the floor, shake like I was having a seizure, and then flop back down like a big flabby fish. I tried about five more times and even started hissing swear words at my weak abdominals under my breath. “GOYOUSUCKGOPIECEOFSHITSTOMACHNOWNONOWDOITAHHHH *flop*”
Note to self: do more Michonne exercises. She has survived the zombie apocalypse and OBVIOUSLY if you do the exercises she does, you will as well.

Anyway, tomorrow is my last day of week 5 and just like day 2, I’m afraid. Tomorrow I run 2 miles without stopping. They aren’t fucking around anymore. They were like “run 3/4 of a mile. You did it! Feel good about yourself? TIME TO RUN TO THE MOON, MOTHERFUCKER!” and I’m like “don’t be stupid. You can’t run to the moon. That would take too long and ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat”.

It’s daunting, but I know I can do it. I just have to ask myself: What would Michonne do? She would run those 2 miles and chop the heads off of like, ninety zombies on the way, that’s what she’d do. Maybe I should bring a katana to the gym. What do you think? Katana? Yes?


For the Love of Running

Somewhere between week 2 and week 3 of Couch to 5k, I began to love running.

Now, believe me when I say this: those are words I never thought I would say or type. When it comes to physical activity, I have always preferred the elliptical machine and cardio classes. But somewhere along my training I fell in love with running.

The first two weeks hurt. My knees hurt, my shins hurt, my feet hurt. I sped up my jogging pace, focused on how my feet were hitting the treadmill, and the pain subsided. I found myself looking forward to my running days (M, W, F) and dreading my elliptical days. The elliptical days are so boring. With my C25k, I have a goal. I am pushing myself to run farther, to run harder, to reach that goal.

I know that I’m not the fastest. My pace has slowly increased; when I began running my top speed was 4.4 MPH on the treadmill. I am now up to 4.8 with my first big goal being 5.0. I find that the stronger my legs get and the more accustomed to running my body becomes, a slower pace actually hurts my legs and knees more than pushing myself to a faster one. I’m on my fifth week of C25k. Wednesday begins day 2, which will be challenging… I have to jog 3/4 of a mile without stopping. I know that I can do it. I have to remember to breathe, focus, push myself, and realize that YES, I can breathe and NO, my legs aren’t going to stop working.

My first 5k is in a little over 3 weeks, and I am feeling pretty confident that I might actually be able to run the entire thing! I am planning on making my first weight loss reward to myself at 20 pounds a new pair of running shoes. Right now I’m using just my basic tennis shoes (which is bad, I know) but once I hit 20 pounds gone, I am going to go to a store and get fitted for shoes that are solely used for running.

What are your favorite running shoes? Any tips about buying my first pair?


ALL THE FITNESS and Also Goats.

Oh my god I have been the worst ever at internets lately. I opened my Google Reader this evening to catch up on some blogs, and I was so behind I just slammed my laptop shut and started weeping.

Okay I didn’t really do that but I wanted to.

So the main reason I’ve been so lazy with blogging is because I have been crazy busy. Working full-time is enough, but I’ve added at least 45 minutes of gym time to my routine almost every single day. Once I leave work I go to the gym. Then I have to drive to get Nellie from daycare. Then we drive home. Then I make dinner. Then I do bedtime with the girl. Then I flop on the couch and Josh and I zone out to whatever show it is we are catching up on (now that American Horror Story is over, it’s mainly Walking Dead. I am also obsessed with Downton Abbey but can’t watch the third season without paying for it. WOE IS ME) and then we crash at around 9 P.M.


My workouts have looked mostly like this:
Monday: Couch to 5k
Tuesday: Elliptical
Wednesday: Couch to 5k
Thursday: Elliptical
Friday: Couch to 5k

Recently I’ve added strength training in on my C25k days. I just finished Week 4 (my Chicago trip and then a few days of feeling kind of sickie threw me off) and will begin Week 5 on Monday. So far, I am down 11 pounds in about 11 weeks. I only just started taking measurements, so I do not know how many inches I have lost and from where. I do know that the pajamas I bought for my Halloween costume (in case you need a refresher, here is my costume from this last year)

Are now fitting better. When I bought them, the bottom button struggled to close, and the top didn’t really fit down over my hips. Now when I wear them (because they are actually very comfortable – definitely a Goodwill win), they fall easily down over my hips and all buttons close with ease. So I have definitely lost inches in my hip region, and I am pretty sure my waist has narrowed a little. I have a habit of resting my hands on my stomach when I’m in bed (I got so used to doing it when I was pregnant, I guess I just never really stopped) and I noticed that last night my lower stomach is not as round as it once was.

Progress. Yay! The most important part of all of this is that I feel so much better. I feel strong, healthy, and I sleep better at night. I have a pleasantly exhausted sensation in my entire body most nights when I snuggle into bed.

I still have a long way to go. My last weigh-in was 198, which is nowhere near where I need to be physically but with every day that passes, and with every step I take, I am getting closer to a healthy weight.

I don’t have much more to say, so I will leave you with this video of a goat screaming at Taylor Swift.