My Fat Fingers

I’ve been wearing my wedding rings on a chain (a sturdy one) for about a month now. I freaking hate it. My wedding rings have been a part of my hand for over 4 years now and my engagement ring has been nestled comfortable on my finger for over 5. I feel so naked without them. Even after 4 weeks of not wearing them, I still find myself fidgeting and panicking for a split second when I don’t feel them before my pregnant brain catches up and remembers they’re around my neck.

Also, my hair gets tangled up in my chain and that is also infuriating.

I’m trying a little experiment today. My finger swelling (which isn’t terrible, but enough to make my rings tight) is worse on my left hand. My wedding ring is tighter than my engagement ring, so I now have my engagement ring on my left hand; my wedding ring on my right. People will either think I’m crazy, or in the middle of a divorce or something. Ah, well. Let them think what they want.

I’ve often wondered if people notice my pregnant belly and then notice I’m not wearing wedding rings on my finger. I almost dare someone to say something to me; to make some kind of comment. Pregnancy has made me sassy and short-tempered and less prone to tolerate someone’s bullshit. I don’t have time for your judgements, sir, I’m busy MAKING A HUMAN BEING.

See what I mean? Getting all fired up over nothing. Maybe this baby is a hothead and her attitude is shining through me. Either that or I’m just a bitch. It could be the latter, I don’t really know.

Have I mentioned how impossible it is to get comfortable at work? My chair is uncomfortable, so I switched to a different one. Still uncomfortable. NOTHING HELPS. I wadded up a hoodie that I have here and slipped it behind my lower back. No dice. This is just another reason I wish I were a SAH mommy-to-be and not stuck at my desk, uncomfortable and whiney.

My body has started a new thing this week; constant discomfort in my lower abdomen. I don’t know if it’s ligament pain or what, but it sucks. I have this constant pulling, tight pain in the front of my lower abdomen. It’s worse when I have to use the bathroom, but it is uncomfortable to stand up from a sitting position, roll over in bed, and even sit in certain positions. I don’t know if this is normal, or something I should address to my doctor next week. I will probably mention it just to be on the safe side. It sure is irritating and painful.

I’m irritable today. Everyone is getting on my nerves. Also, I’m hungry. And apparently a whiney little baby, from the overall tone of this blog. I apologize to all of you reading.

No, you know what? I take it back. Deal with it!

…I’m sorry, that was the baby, not me.

I’m still hungry.

That’s How My Baby Rolls, and My Tiny Bladder

I swear I just felt the strangest thing. Nellie’s usually sleeping pretty well during the daytime, and I think she must have been uncomfortable in there because I totally just felt her roll over. Or flip around, or something. It was completely unlike anything I’ve felt from her before. It wasn’t the usual thump or bump; it was totally a rolling/turning sensation.

HOW COOL.

Perhaps she was sensing my agitation of getting up every 20 minutes to pee and was thoughtfully removing herself from laying directly ON my bladder.

You know what’s so weird/irritating about pregnancy urination, is that you feel like your bladder is full to the point of exploding. You know that really uncomfortable, persistent sensation that comes when you’ve been holding your pee and you just can’t hold it anymore? It feels like that, so you waddle your big, fat ass to the bathroom, desperately pull down your pants, sit down and prepare for Niagra Falls…..

And get a leaky faucet instead.

WTF is up with that?! I swear, every time I have to pee it feels like if I don’t get to a toilet in the next 30 seconds, I’m seriously going to wet myself only to find that when I do sit down to use the bathroom my stream is weaker than the water pressure in a cheap roadside motel in the middle of nowhere. Yeesh.

Being Uncomfortable and My Zombie Baby

When I sit in my chair at my desk, my lower back becomes uncomfortable.

When I sit on the couch at home for too long, my lower back becomes uncomfortable.

When I sleep on my side, my arms fall asleep and my hip…. Becomes uncomfortable.

I think I am officially reaching the stage in this pregnancy where my “honeymoon trimester” is coming to a close and the “PLEASE GET THIS BABY THE HELL OUT OF ME” trimester is taking its’ place.

Don’t get me wrong, I have loved being pregnant. Aside from the morning upchuck rituals from weeks 6-13, my pregnancy has been relatively easy. But now I am becoming increasingly slow and fat. I’m actually relatively certain that I now have my own gravitational pull which is comfirmed by a friend who joked that I should “go as a globe for Halloween”. I think my response was “suck it, asshole”. In fact, when someone who hasn’t seen me for a few weeks gets a glimpse of me now, their first response is to yelp, “HOLY SHIT, YOU’RE HUGE.” To which I nod solemnly and remind them that I still have 3 months to go.

I don’t mind being huge, really I don’t. I’ve waited for this for so long, I really do cherish every moment of this pregnancy. But I sure would like to be able to sit without feeling like someone is pulling the muscles of my lower/upper back and ass apart, eat without the fear that whatever I am eating will cause acid to bubble from my stomach and burn the lining of my esophagus off, and I sure would like a night where I’m not getting up every 3 hours to expell three squirts of urine from my bladder.

Oh, and also, I’m going to be giving birth in about 3 months time. This means that something that is approximately the size of a canteloupe is going to be pushing, tearing, and forcefully making its’ way from my vagina; the opening of which is most certainly NOT the size of a canteloupe. I’m not Jenna Jameson, after all. ZING.

Also, this baby is stubborn. She is probably the most stubborn baby in the world, and I say this because of the way she moves. Around week 23, I started feeling her a lot. She’d kick me so hard I thought my cervix was going to fall out of my vagina and land on the floor, and then I’d have to explain to whomever was unfortunate enough to witness that event what the hell that was, and why it was sitting there, all weird lookin’ and gross. I would then probably have to help them clean up the pile of vomit that resulted in discovering what was lying on the floor before them, which would probably make me vomit, because let’s face it. Vomit is gross.
Anyway, back to why my child is stubborn. Did I mention that pregnancy is also making me ridiculously spacey and absent-minded? Yeah.
So now Nellie has taken to playing the “let’s give mom just a few kicks a day to keep her happy” game. Mom likes to be kicked. A lot. Pops, bumps, kicks; bring it on, kiddo. The more, the better. Nellie has decided that a few bumps, kicks, and punches here and there are sufficient. And heaven forbid if mom, dad, or anyone else tries to put their hands on the belly to feel her from the outside. She could be doing a damn Riverdance in there and the second someone’s hands grace the stretched skin of my stomach, she stops. IMMEDIATELY. I’m not kidding. It’s like a switch being flipped. I can imagine her in there, floating around with this big grin on her face. Little booger. She really does know how to freak me out. I’ll start worrying about her after not feeling anything for a few hours, so naturally I will poke, prod, shake and wiggle to try and get her to move. I will not feel a damn thing. I will repeat this process for approximately five minutes. Nada. Once I stop, ten minutes later she’ll kick me a few times as if to say, “See? I move on MY time, mom. NOT YOURS. I am not a trained monkey.”

Sigh. Either my kid is going to be a stubborn nightmare, or she’s going to be the most mellow and chill baby ever. Maybe this kid just isn’t very hyper. My guess is that she’s stubborn considering who she came from.

This entry got really long and rambly. Did I mention that this baby has sapped all of my brain cells and left me with, like, two? Babies eat brain cells.

Like zombies.

Pregnancy’s Newest Trick

So now that I’ve lived through the morning sickness and have had a brief “pregnancy reprieve”, it seems that my body is hellbent on making me pay for those weeks of wonder where I could eat anything I wanted without consequence.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen I am now suffering from the worst constipation, indigestion and heartburn known to mankind. I never knew such discomfort was possible. Everything – and I do mean EVERYTHING – I eat gives me heartburn. And indigestion. It makes me uncomfortable, it makes my back hurt (and itch, which I don’t understand) and makes it hard for me to sleep.

I ate lunch at around 12:00 yesterday, and did not eat for the rest of the day because I still felt full, and uncomfortable from the lunch. For the record, I had a cheeseburger and a salad. Even now I am not hungry. I grabbed a bottle of generic Colace from the store (which is a stool softener) but have yet to use it. Colace is on my doctor’s approved list of medicines to take but when I went to SafeFetus.com it says the active ingredient in Colace is a grade C drug. According to the website, a grade C drug means:
Either studies in animals have revealed adverse effects on the fetus (teratogenic or embryocidal or other) and there are no controlled studies in women, or studies in women and animals are not available. Drugs should be given only if the potential benefit justifies the potential risk to the fetus.
Er, that doesn’t really sound like something I want to play with. Maybe I’ll just pick up some other kind of stool softener and try that one out???

Yesterday baby girl was very quiet. I have given countless women on message boards advice on how to calm down at this stage of pregnancy, telling them that movement right now is still very sporadic because the little one is still relatively small. I spout out information that I’ve read on the internet about how you can’t expect to feel regular, consistent movement until about 25-28 weeks or so. And yet, when my baby girl hadn’t popped or squirmed all morning and early afternoon I found myself in the same little pit of worry. I kept trying to reassure myself that 23 weeks is till too early for reliable, consistent movement. I even Googled it to further ease my mind.

I took a nap around 3:00 yesterday and woke up at 5. I was sitting on the couch, and she began kicking and moving about. I immediately felt better. For the rest of the evening, I felt her “popping” about in there and my mind was put to ease.

I’m actually looking forward to the uncomfortable, jabbing pokes and kicks that I’ve heard come in later pregnancy. When I can feel a little foot lodged someplace it ought not be, I will probably wince in pain but smile as well. The days when I can see my belly move from the force of her kicks aren’t too far off, and I can’t wait for them to get here.

Differences in 1st and 2nd Trimesters

Things that have gone away from the 1st Trimester:

  1. Morning sickness
  2. Badly broken out skin
  3. Overwhelming fatigue
  4. HORRIBLE heartburn

Things that have surfaced in the 2nd Trimester:

  1. Stuffy nose
  2. Sinus problems
  3. Sore throat
  4. Tense shoulders/neck
  5. Discomfort when standing for prolonged periods of time
  6. Increased shortness of breath
  7. PEEING 8,000 TIMES A NIGHT
  8. Being taken over by a crazy woman who cannot control her mood swings
  9. An itty, bitty baby bump :)

The end.

Fireworks, Morning Sickness’s Revenge

As I am sure everyone is aware, this weekend marked the celebration of the Fourth of July holiday here in America. I, like any other American, love loud noises and pretty lights in the sky so naturally I attended the local fireworks show downtown. I went with my friend Deborah (my husband was busy, and doesn’t like fireworks) and we had a great time. I treated myself to a cherry italian ice which was delicious, and very much enjoyed myself at the show.

I was looking forward to the family cookout that I had mentioned in a previous post yesterday. I knew we were having hamburgers and hot dogs, my mother in law was making potato salad and deviled eggs and I was beside my little pregnant self with excitement. I helped myself to three deviled eggs and a cheeseburger, some potato salad, some barbeque chips and halfway through my much-anticipated meal, I started feeling sick. I had to go and throw up in the bathroom and felt like crap the rest of the day. The weather has also brought a nice little sinus headache upon me, so I also had that going for me yesterday. So much for an enjoyable cookout with much gluttony; I could barely choke down one cheeseburger before the baby decided s/he’d had enough.

I don’t feel well today. I puked twice this morning before I even had the chance to eat anything. I’m munching on saltines and sipping on some Gatorade as I type. I’m trying to stay hydrated, but slowly. Sometimes I get over-zealous and guzzle the water, and end up nauseous and puking. It’s funny; pregnancy, it’s like you have to learn to eat all over again. If I eat too much, I feel sick and puke. If I don’t eat enough, my empty stomach make me nauseous and I puke. It’s a very fine line that I tread, and one that I’m still learning to walk.

One more day until our next appointment, and less than one week until the beginning of the 2nd trimester! HOORAY!!!

When people ask me how I’m feeling, I am going to stop telling them that I think I’m through the morning sickness. I think that my child already likes to play tricks on me like his daddy, and when I say that I’m almost through the morning sickness he thinks, Oh REALLY, mommy? and just starts swinging on that DO NOT WANT lever that makes me vomit.

Oh, another fun little thing that I’ve discovered. When I sneeze, I pee. When I puke, sometimes I pee and when I poot, I pee.

Just…. FYI. One of those fun little tidbits of information no one warns you about pregnancy.

Pizza Face

My skin is awful. I have mentioned it here before, but it really and truly is just awful. Every time I look in the mirror, I want to cry because I look so bad.

I’m not being overly vain here and talking a spot on my forehead, chin, cheek and nose. I have got little painful red bumps EVERYWHERE. They are all across my forehead, on my eyebrows, smattered across my temples, and on my cheeks. I have some bumps on my nose. The only place that is safe from the breakout is my chin, for now.

I understand that this is hormonal and will pass, but it sure is making me feel terrible. I can hardly look in the mirror without crying. Last night after washing my face I just kept staring at the little red intruders; mocking me with their blazing, crimson heads. I am doing everything right; I wash twice a day wish a gentle, oil-free cleanser and follow with a simple oil-free Olay moisturizer. I even took the suggestion of one of my commenters and bought some witch hazel to use as an astringent. I began using it Saturday so we’ll see if it makes even a little bit of a difference.

I know I’m just being vain and that having broken-out skin isn’t the end of the world and is a sign that my hormones are properly functioning and that I have plenty of them. It’s just hard to look in the mirror and see such a horrible sight, and still feel OK about yourself. My husband assures me every day that I’m beautiful, which I’m grateful for but I sure do feel rotten about myself right now. For now I’m just trying to wash, stay hydrated and keep my hands off my face. Hopefully this, too, shall pass once the second trimester comes……

Symptoms, Etc

So I think that my symptoms are slowly started to even out. They weren’t horribly severe to begin with but my vomiting ritual was pretty set since about week 6. I have still been feeling kinda queasy and uneasy in the stomach but the vomiting seems to have subsided – a little.

My breasts are still sore, but the soreness comes and goes more often. And yes, I am ashamed to admit that I still push and mash on them to make sure they still hurt.

This pregnancy has been surprisingly very worry-free for me. I have not stressed nor worried about………….. I just had to leave my keyboard and run to the bathroom to throw up. LOL.
Anyway as I was saying, I have not stressed nor worried about this pregnancy like I thought I would. I have even felt twinges, pulling, and even occasionally stretching/cramping and none of it has worried me at all. I just feel “different” about this pregnancy.

One thing that I thought was changing for the better was my skin, but I was wrong. It’s just as bad as it has been. I am so broken out, my face is like a war zone of pimples. Ugh. I can’t use acne medication. I was thinking of maybe getting some tea tree oil, or products with tea tree oil in them and see if maybe that would help a little. I’m also hoping my hormones will level out a little in a few weeks. We can hope, right?

Just under two weeks until we get to see Gummi again! I can’t wait!

Bottomless Pit

I have apparently reached the “RAVENOUS HUNGER” stage of pregnancy.

For lunch, I had:

6″ Subway sandwich
Bag of Baked Lays
Carrots
Jello snack cup

AND I AM STILL STARVING.

A 6″ Subway sandwich usually sustains me to dinner and sometimes beyond. Good grief!!!! MUST FIND MORE FOOD! AH!!!!!

Do Not Want

Baby did not keep the breakfast burrito down.

Vomit count is now at 4.

EDIT: As of 1:23 P.M., the Vomit Count is now at 7. Yes, 7.

Oy, vey.